My Religion
This is just awesome!
NASCAR has quickly become a very popular event. Everywhere you go someone has on a NASCAR shirt. Many of the vehicles on the streets have a NASCAR sticker in the window. I even noticed a Monte Carlo all dressed up like an actual NASCAR the other day! Wow, such devotion! So let me take a minute to explore the skills needed to be a successful NASCAR driver:
1)Ability to turn left
2)See above skill
That's right! If you can turn left, you can drive a NASCAR. HOW IN THE HELL did driving in a circle ever become a sport. It's not a sport. Being on the pit crew is a sport. They're the only people on the track actually doing anything. Now if the track didn't just stay in a circle I'd be more open to the idea...but a circle...for 500 miles!!! I'd rather sit through church!
Now for all my criticism, I am open minded and I have come up with a few things that would perk my interests provided my ideas were implimented into the world of NASCAR.
-Have people roll bowling balls on the track.
-pot holes
-every other lane goes oposite directions
-drunk goggles on the drivers
-Wal-Mart in the center so the drivers have to deal with idiots who don't look both ways
-each fan gets a brick to throw
-each driver gets a brick to throw
-Snipers in the stands
-ACME Steel walls pop up at random
-no breaks
-have all the lanes merge into a one lane tunnel
Now THIS would be a sport! If it were like this, I would probably be the biggest NASCAR fan alive today. The way it works now...you could train a monkey to drive in NASCAR...and it would probably win!
The Macho Man Randy Savage. The greatest Champion of all time DIGGIT!
Somehow...I always knew!
DEMOLITION. Greatest Tag Team EVER!
Carlito or Side Show Bob...you decide!
Chris Masters! Future Heavyweight Champion and Master of the UNBREAKABLE Master Lock!!!
I am also a huge Wrestling fan. Don't even try telling me that it's fake. You won't like how I respond. Let me put it to you this way. I don't go to your church and piss in your holy water...so don't come to my church and piss in mine. Hey Matt, if you click on the Mysterio picture, it will take you to your web page. Let's see you knock Rey now tough-guy. HOOOOOO!!
Cena Sucks!!!
Angels do exist!
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD SHE'S SMOKING OH MY GOD!!! QUICK, BAN HER FROM ALL PUBLIC PLACES, WIN A BUNCH OF MONEY IN A LAWSUIT AND BLOW IT ON STUPID FUCKING TRUTH COMMERCIALS, TREAT HER LIKE LESS OF A HUMAN BEING BECAUSE SHE USED HER FREEDOM OF CHOICE TO START SMOKING, AND RAISE THE TAXES ON HER CIGARETTES RESULTING IN HER PAYING MORE TAXES THAN OTHER AMERICAN CITIZENS WHICH UNCONSTITUTIONAL IN AND OF ITSELF!!! OH MY GOD
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You'd drink too if you lost to the Ewoks!
Everything that is Star Wars, Armageddon, Thursday, Boondock Saints, Grease, Pulp Fiction, Full Metal Jacket, All the Friday the 13th movies, Underworld 1 and 2, Bad Boys 1 and 2, The Fugitive, U.S. Marshals, Transporter 1 and 2, House of 1000 Corpses, Devils Rejects, All the Lord of the Rings movies, Ghostbusters, Stand by me, Natural Born Killers, Summer of Sam, What Dreams may Come, Resivoir Dogs, Saw 1 and 2, The Core, First Blood, Benchwarmers, Die Hard Trilogy, The Rock, Forest Gump, Remember the Titans, The South Park Movie, Shaft w/ Samuel Jackson, Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, Grudge, Unleashed, Killer Clowns from Outerspace, Superman Returns, Jackass 1 and 2, Erin Brokovich, Sweet Home Alabama, Superman/Batman: Worlds Finest, Amityville remake, Hostage, etc...
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If you like Star Wars you'll love this video!!!
Click the picture to check out Matt's web page. He has three published books and a few stories exclusive to his page. You can buy his books here if you're interested. I can even get him to autograph them for you if you're nice to me! :p
Couldn't have said it better myself!
My Kids. They are the reason I exist. I couldn't imagine what my life would be like without them. I Love You Kids!
My Mom! My Mom is my best friend. I am the Dad I am today because my Mom is the Mom she has always been. She is my strength and I Love her!
Uncle Matt. The only person I've ever consumed over 5 lbs of bacon with all in one sitting and survived. I've known him for years and love him like a brother. If I've learned one thing from him, it's to never give up on your dreams. If I've learned one thing WITH him, it's that King Kong Bundy is a complete dickhead! I'm proud of you Matt!
Green Lantern Corps. I don't have a favorite G.L.. If you like one, you pretty much like them all. I know if I were ever in any danger, I'd want these guys on my side.
Superman. He gave his life defending the Earth against Doomsday (pictured above)...and STILL came back to watch over us. How could you not like this guy!!!
Stormtroopers! The most loyal, elite, and effective army ever created. They carry out every order without hesitation. Probably the only force that could ever stand up to the Green Lantern Corps.