-calling people out on their bullshit.
-being a total dude at all times.
-layin' deep in the cut.
-saying "that's how we do."
-playing air guitar.
-achieving and maintaining erections.
-making and recieving mixtapes.
-fondle frenzies.
-binge drinking.
-Charm City.
-real punk music, history, and lifestyle.
-MANTOBER, 31 days without shaving (anywhere), followed by the great November 'stache-off.
-cruisin' for trim / trollin' for gash.
-bro-downs.
-I love dares and double dares, and specialize in double-dog dares.
-vinyl.
-cool girls that go to MICA.
-things/people that are old.
-mocking anything and everyone.
Anyone willing to share money, drugs, or their body with me. Preferably the last one.
No one who is unable to properly spell the English language that we've all agreed on, and no idiots who use excrutiatingly annoying abbreviations the likes of "omg" "lol" or "ppl". Fuck that shit.
People with practically the exact same tastes as me, so that together we might mock and belittle everyone different from us.
-The Douchebags
-Steven Hawking's Football Boots
-The Constipated
-That's Not Sloppy Joe
-Argyle Crocodile Menagerie
-Not Farting But Shitting
-James Cagney Buys American
-Cunty LeRoux
-The Whippersnappers
-Marmots Of Consequence
-Make Mine Mazel Tov
-The Blood Farts
-Matthew Broderick Must Die
-The 3-D Dangles
-The Dick Smalls
-Stanky And The Hang-Downs
-Alan Funtcake
-Fashionably Diabetic
-The Sweetchucks
-Whoadies Never Smile
-John Cougar Menstrual Cramp
-horror (be it good, bad, cheesy, Italian, etc.)
-really exceptionally good movies
-movies with exposed breasts in them
-extreme Asian cinema
-John Larroquette and Kirstie Alley as Mark and Jessie Bannister in the delightful comedic romp "Madhouse."
Miami Ink marathons and shows that only exist to make fun of shit, like Best Week Ever and whatnot.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, Charles Bukowski, John Fante, Henry Thoreau. The Beats. Irvine Welsh. Kurt Vonnegut. Mark Twain. John Updike. That Thomas Pynchon guy's pretty good. Oscar Wilde. Hunter S Thompson. Bret Easton Ellis is good times. Chuck Paluhniuk is overrated. Chuck Klosterman is too. Fuck Chucks. John Kennedy Toole. Edwin Arlington Robinson = great poet. Hubert Selby. The Hedonism Handbook and The Paradox of Choice are two books which help me live the right life everyday. Forget all that "Bible" nonsense. I mean really, are you kidding?
"Alright, alright, alright..."