The Teats

From the ashes of the Northampton scene came a band. The band. Born from the flaming wreckage of We've Got A-Levels and The Lutherans, two of the most respected bands of the last decade, The Teats formed when their nucleus, Charlie and Josh Teat (No names... names are meaningless avatars of middle-of-the-road values and consensus compromise...) met and fell in love in a totally platonic but utterly passionate way at a poetry reading where Josh was reading some of his improv "word-rape" accompanied by the sound of electric seagulls and blueberry wave formations... They define their sound, or rather, don't define their sound, as "freethinking new electro hydropop punk funk spunk" fresh out the box quality yeah? and they know why they were put together - to demonstrate the word to the future. By age 17 Charlie's spiralling drug habit had caused the ugly demise of several bands, many of which still haunt him in very real behind the scenes ways and in the lyrics of other bands songs- one of The Hot Squirm's last records is a searing comment on the break up of The Lutherans: "Nothing to say/Nothing to say is the new something to say/and I'm saying it all"... couldn't be said better. By the time the first rehearsal had happened so much had poured from the two tortured, fertile minds that a gig had to happen FAST- enter Sid and Rob Teat, brothers from the legendary and recently deceased Wet Hard Spastic to complete the sound in ways too perfect to imagine. But one piece of the puzzle remained. Martin Hazard was hanging around outside Northampton's number one sex shop and band hangout Hot Cakes six months ago when the owner and Northampton legend Sexy Pete put on their demo. "When I heard it I knew that everything else in the world was total sh*t compared to The Teats" he said, understated to the last. "This will be the most important record this century, the first great record of the twenty-first century. I Know it will." With Hazard at the helm there is nothing that can go wrong. -Martin Hazard------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------- NOISE CHOMPS: Eating On Tour With The Teats... Is a bit more than just a collection of Charlie Teats's consistently witty articles of culinary experiences on the road over the past two years. The hardback book is published by fishy noice chomp house in the UK on November 2nd and features illustrations from Craig DeCraig. We'll be bringing you a taster of some of Charlie's hottest dribblings, and our Craig's drawings over the next month.To enter to win one of 10 signed and personalised copies of the book by monsieur Charlie, simply answer the following question: The Teats recently ripped off a song about a boy who ate too many cakes. What was his name? (Clue) E-mail your answer to [email protected]. One entry per e-mail address please. Competition closes 16th October. ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ -------------------------------