warren

Assembled from spare human/animal body parts by scientists in a Polish sanatorium in the 1920's, I have to say, I probably had a better start in life than many. However as is the way with many from a privileged background, I soon lost my way. Drifting from the straight and narrow I was soon roaming around on a wide wobbly path looking for misadventure. Whilst getting into minor trouble as a youth the big changes occurred when I started at the University of Banat, located in the south-west of Romania, this region, known better for the Banat mountain range, stands out as much for its characteristic landscapes and climate as for it's folklore and evil traditions. Freshers week was a total disaster. The highlight of the weeks activities was a performance of the rock opera 'Tummy', (a big hit with the locals) a kind of mixture of the Mummy and Tommy. It all got out of hand when I got faced on reindeer piss, got up on stage in the middle of the scene when Sally, the Vicar's daughter, sneaks out of her home to attend one of Tummy's bandage sex parties, and forced everybody sing 'Lenny Henry' 'Berty Wooster' ' Capitan Cave-man' 'Billy Crystal' over and over again until the intoxicating effects of the reindeer piss wore off and I found myself alone and naked wearing nothing but some carefully placed mousetraps hiding my modesty. It wasn't long after that I found salvation, and was anointed in the soothing balm of Rock and Roll. Now, keep in mind that this historical account is merely one of the possible threads that describe my output thus far, and that, with a little tweaking of my back story, I can pretty much be anywhere at any time, a kind of quantum existence, so lets not get too tied up in the details eh?