Tits McGay profile picture

Tits McGay

teat warrior

About Me

WARNING: THIS PAGE IS SOCIALLY UNACCEPTABLE( . )( . )Well… what do you wanna know? I'm 27 and despite the fact I feel like a 14 year old at heart, I realize its time to grow (and sober) up. I suffer from a mild case of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Luckily my OCD has eased up over the years… I am not proud to admit that I still (sometimes) find it difficult to breathe when looking at displeasing or grotesque objects/people. (I’m working on it.) But at least I can now walk on cracks and don’t have to flip light switches 69 times before entering or exiting a room. I don’t like waiting, although I find myself doing it often. And I suffer from ADD… especially when it comes to my myspace pics—which you’ll notice I change almost daily. (Again, I’m working on it.)I’m attracted to older men. This is unsettling considering I’m a self-proclaimed “cougar in training”, also known as a cub. (For those of you who don’t know, a cougar is an older woman who seeks younger men for sexual pleasure.) I realized this was the most realistic path for me, because I’d rather be a cougar than a cat lady (which I’ve been told is my destiny). Plus, when you transition from cub to coug, you apparently get some sort of golden medallion. (And lets face it, who doesn’t want a golden coug medail?)I’m a strong promoter of roofies, and occasionally enjoy a roofie coolata. BUT… since I AM trying to break ties with my Irish drinking ways, I guess I’ll probably limit myself to just one roofie cocktail a week from here on out. (I’m told that if I decrease my alcohol consumption, my Tourette’s syndrome will also subside. ALTHOUGH… truth be told, I quite enjoy having an excuse to yell things like “tits!”, “douchecock!”, and “balls!” at random passers-by.) Ugh… but I suppose I AM growing up.Anyways… I love skulls and bones. I also enjoy boning (but, as it turns out, I don’t partake in that particular activity often). Yes, it’s true… I don’t hook up with randoms. (This excludes placing strangers’ heads in my cleavage, along with steamy MO sessions—which I can never get enough of.) But for some reason, I’ve been instilled with a little something called “morals”, and tend to be what they call “old-fashioned”. (I know… LAME!) Anyways, enough is enough. I’ve already said too much. If I’ve wet your whistle and you wanna know more, just ask. If you don’t suck real hard, I might actually give you the time of day. Oh, and I don’t make promises.

My Interests

skulls, bones, capes, working out, steak, comedy (<3 the hollywood improv), brewskies whilst watching sports (baseball + hockey are faves, followed by football, golf, tennis and soccer), helicopters, luxury cars, people watching, the onion, wine tours, summer day wine sipping (<3 a good syrah or pinot), perez, sunning my girls, makin out with cute boys who are great kissers, stayin sane, toasty dutch ovens, coleman's irish pub, raw cookie dough, doing you raw, relaxing at the beach, playing tennis, practicing the skin flute, writing, hiking, camping, enjoying good company, riding camels, riding YOU, tooling around, acting like a dick, "me" time, BUT... most importantly laughing and doing things based on the premise that life is just too friggin short.

I'd like to meet:

meaty suitors who like witty redheads & aren't complete sketchbags, howard stern, larry david, mike cera, ricky gervais, conan o'brien, will arnett, jason bateman, people who don't suck at life, this guy..

Music:

oh sweet sweet melodies, how i love thee... especially when you're cumming from ray laMontagne, vampire weekend, sia, gomez, beck, devotchka, amy wineHOuse, etta james, the allMAN brothers, afi, muse, panic! at the disco, wolfmother, snow patrol, red PETERs, oasis, ben harper, frank SINatra, inCUBus, faith hill, BIG and rich, metallica, ella fitzgerald, rascal flatts, coldPLAY, led zeppelin, kelly clarkson, tim mcgRAW, kanye west, gavin degRAW, wesley willis, ben folds, nat king cole, POSTal service, dave matthews, springsteen, van morrison, gorillaz, franz ferdinand, leonard bernstein, radioHEAD, weezer, DIXie chicks, the STROKEs, imogen heap, john legend, jason mraz, the beatles, dashboard, howie day, deathcab, BACKSIDE boys, stevie wonder, mozart, keith urban, system of a DOWN, matisyahu, fiona apple, and the list goes on and on and on. (please note: do NOT come near me with your accordion or "sweet" '79 panasonic boombox while blasting polka.. unless you want to get punched in the urethra!)

Movies:

transformers, iron man, old sch(.)(.)l, napoleon dynamite, billy madison, young frankenstein, beautiful girls, amelie, stomp the yard, little miss sunshine, private parts, crash, when harry met sally, garden state, the burbs, beaches, the hours, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, g(.)(.)dfellas, the birdcage, aviator, sixteen candles, rain man, american beauty, BIG, fahrenheit 9-11, bridges of madison county, capote, weekend at bernies, the notebook, spaceballs

Television:

assy mcgee, curb your enthusiasm, arrested development, the office, greys anatomy, the closer, kathy griffin: my life on the D list, scott baio is 45 and single, rock of love, run's house, real housewives of orange county, breaking bonaduce, family guy, countdown with keith olbermann, chappelle's show, daily show, colbert report, the hills, late night with conan o'brien, entourage, seinfeld, sex and the city, access hollywood, laguna beach, VH1's best week ever, golden girls

Books:

i REALLY like the thesaurus. but i've also grown very fond of the dictionary... and hey, i'll even say the spanish-english version. (because lets face it, i dont discriminate)

Heroes:

my mom, howard stern, oprah, YOUR mom

My Blog

do some g(.)(.)d

https://www.active.com/donate/ccrf08/melissamc I'm runnin a 5K & tryin to raise 3,000 Gs (not strings) to benefit the Children's Cancer Research Fund -- Please help me raise money for this amazing...
Posted by Tits McGay on Mon, 10 Mar 2008 03:04:00 PST

tits made a b( . )( . ) b( . )( . )

i MIGHT've deleted a couple people on accident. DON'T CRY! (yet) if you got the boot, kindly request my friendship again. i'll most likely accept. but if not, i deleted you on purpose because i h...
Posted by Tits McGay on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 04:24:00 PST

Captain Hooktits

why do i want pirate hooks for hands? well.. because i have OCD. and i hate shaking people's hands cuz they're filthy. so if i have hooks, people will either not wanna shake my hooks. OR... i'll be ab...
Posted by Tits McGay on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 11:22:00 PST

i am NOT bozo the bush!

well kids, i am here to make a terrible wrong RIGHT. it seems as though there is someone out there spreading vicious rumors about red skulls AROUND THE WORLD. i won't name names (claire the waxer), bu...
Posted by Tits McGay on Thu, 22 Jun 2006 06:17:00 PST

F JC.. but I'd still tap the Keg 4 Christ!

Luther College Student News Thursday 4/6/2006 --Desperate times call for desperate measures. And in some cases, a keg of liquid faith.In an original move, the Luther College Cafeteria will hold the fi...
Posted by Tits McGay on Thu, 06 Apr 2006 02:43:00 PST

yet ANOTHER gift to you <3

i really don't know what has gotten into me lately... all i wanna do is share gifts, love and GONORRHEA. Well... without further ado, here you go! Please note: if you just creamed your jeans, you are...
Posted by Tits McGay on Fri, 10 Feb 2006 05:13:00 PST

my gift to you <3

(now you can't say the only thing i gave you was CRABS) ...
Posted by Tits McGay on Fri, 20 Jan 2006 06:36:00 PST

muchas grassyass, skullets

to all who joined me in celebrating my 25 years of life, i want to thank you for making this an unbelievable year.  in recent years my bday hasn't always been as GAY as i wished it to be. but it ...
Posted by Tits McGay on Mon, 16 Jan 2006 03:11:00 PST

live vicariously through WUBATO

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewIma ge&friendID=33846343&imageID=397994453&Mytoken=9 C510C85-127F-116D-2A71DA749EB5139C9476555     CLICK IF YOU DARE for th...
Posted by Tits McGay on Wed, 04 Jan 2006 03:41:00 PST

Delirium.

right now i'm so delirious that if you told me to poop my pants, i probably would.  ...
Posted by Tits McGay on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST