I already went over most of this in "About Me," so I shall instead deliver a message that I have just received, to be delivered to the household of Dr. Robert Fisher, addressed to his son, Ashton:"I don't have your Cuban cigars. Go back and tell the Antartican mafia that they won't get the cigars until they send their fruit bats to the Welsh, who should be able to make the deal with the Phantom of the Opera, who will then contact the Pirates of the Caribbean and get the cigars. But only after the Injuns do their eggbeater dance on the sixth night of the fourth moon. Inside of a wooly mammoth's carcass."You heard the man, Ashton. Get busy.
Well... KICK IT, LUMIERE! (French candlestick turns on boom box, annoying beat starts playing)Dem boyz in da hood wit dey fine-ass hoes When dey drive down the street in dey real big cloez I can ride in yo trunk but I pay real good An' you ain't no gangsta so don't be so...uh...LOOD!I have no idea where that came from just now. Mayhaps I was channeling the spirit of famed Memphis rapper "Chopper Girl" with her awesome CD "Dirty Dolla$" (It's a real CD, and it's awesome. Whoop a foe. Whoop a foe.)
Jennifer has a refined taste in music, indulging her auditory senses in the sweet melodies of Bach, Handel, Mozart, Brahms, Beethoven, Haydn, Chopin, Mendelssohn, Debussy, Elgar, Mahler, Holst, Ravel, Mussorgsky, Bizet, Dvorak, Wagner, Tchaikovsky, and Vaughan Williams. Whoops, I'm talking about myself again. :p Uh...I think she's a Zeppelin fan. Other than that, I'm not really sure. Just choose something of of NOW-THAT'S-WHAT-I-CALL-MUSIC VOLUME 912.48 or something.
Yeah, yeah, everybody knows she likes Beauty and the Beast and Fight Club, but what else does our mayor watch? I'll TELL you what she watches: The new 50 Cent music video, entitled "Fiddy's New Single," from his new hit album "Fiddy's New Album," distributed and recorded by "Fiddy's Ass-Machine Teapot Recording Studios." Famous scientist Richard Feynman's last lecture, caught on camera by a crazy Hispanic man named Noriega. Thanks, Norry! The security cameras around City Hall. Willie's got to make sure she's safe from crazy homeless boys running to her door crying for more trains running through random places in the city and less preppy boys who get in everybody's ways. Don't listen to the homeless people, Mr. Mayor. They are the fathers of lies! This video that I found of Ashton's dog screwing Hobbie in the leg. That was some hardkjore stuff right there. Pretty freaky, too.
Willie constantly watches what she refers to as the "Oh Cee." I wouldn't know much about it, because Mr. Bretodeau doesn't watch much TV (and by "doesn't watch much" he means "doesn't watch at all other than movies"), but apparently it's about people in California whose lives revolve around: torrid love affairs, the ocean, torrid love affairs, oranges, torrid love affairs, flat rate plans for cell phones, torrid love affairs, Yhatzee and Stratego, torrid love affairs, and laying the proverbial smack down. Of course, in the interest of exaggeration, take out everything that doesn't say "torrid love affairs" and you have the Oh Cee. That's what I've heard, anyway. The only other thing I know about the show is that the kids who watch it at MUS are mercilessly persecuted and called "girly-men."
Other than reading up on the ol' world domination schemes (with great works such as "How to Win Enemies and Influence Dumbasses"), Willie-fer entertains herself with those crazy depressing books by the guy who wrote Fight Club. As for what else, I wish I could find Ashton's Myspace for her, because I have no idea. Maybe she reads romance novels. You never know with these old black men.
Willie Herenton NEEDS no heroes! Willie Herenton is GAWD!