An Unbeatable Pterodactyl profile picture

An Unbeatable Pterodactyl

Nothing defines a man more than if he can punch a ghost to death.

About Me

I was born in the early 1940's and grew up to manufacture wood. You may be thinking that wood comes from trees which grows from the dust and is fertilized by a whole steaming load of God's love and tears, but that's just what the Zionists want you to believe. In all truthfulness it is me and people just like me that manufacture wood out of the remains of Steely Dan acetates and a whole pile of vegetarian substitutes.
I have one son. He is mute and all that means is that no one can hear him scream. All I wanted was for him to water the flowers, and he couldn't even do that. I mean, flowers need water. It's not as if Noah, Pierre Berthelot and Willem Janszoon and their little tugboat of forty crows and sixteen steer are going to crash into the friggin' window box now are they? If that sonuvabitch kills my flowers I'll probably kill him.
I have a cat who I have to leave alone for days at a time. I often come home from work to find my wife screaming, "Oh Carl, the cat is vomiting! The cat is vomiting!" and all I can tell her to do is clean it up while it's still warm and then put the cat in the bathtub so it can puke its little guts out.
I drive a hummer which I also get a lot of.
MSN: [email protected]
AOL IM: rongoguns

My Interests



toiletries, crepes, creeps, hands, soap, hand soap, kidz bop, hand jiving, brewing, braining, being brained, beaning, piano key, jumping, snake figurines, defleppardwhippets, cob.

I'd like to meet:

Who I'd like to meet? WELL: Tony Curtis, Dylan Thomas, Cary Grant, Paul McCartney, Humphrey Bogart, Ricky Gervais, Elvis Presley, George Clooney, Mitch Hurwitz, Aleister Crowley, Vincent, Price, Oscar Wilde, Robert Evans, Richard Branson, Picasso, Dali, Warhol, Ginsberg, Alfred Kinsey, Michael Cera, Otto Preminger and Orson Welles. Among othersdotdotdotellipsis

Music:

Paul McCartney, Nitin Sawhney, Paul Simon, Percy "Thrills" Thrillington, "Chinmaya Dunster, Prince, Steve Reich, The Fireman, Elvis Presley, LSO, Maria João Pires, Stevie Wonder, Oingo Boingo, Steadman, Julian Consort Bream, Frank Sinatra, Colin Hay, Winston O'Boogie, Nat King Cole, Elvis Costello, Sammy Davis Jr (he should still be performing), Harry Nilsson, etc., etc., etc.,

Movies:

as long as they're is now plot n plenny a esplosions i luv it. LOL LOL OMG OMG I LUV BOBIESS TWO!
But really: Wild Strawberries, L.A. Confidential, La Dolce Vita, Chinatown, Strangers on a Train, House on Haunted Hill (1959), House of Wax (1953), Dick Tracy, The Two Jakes, The Party, Eyes Wide Shut, Get Carter (1971), Fahrenheit 451, The Life & Death of Peter Sellers, Call Northside 777, Dial M for Murder, The Thomas Crown Affair (1999), The Manchurian Candidate (1962), Abominable Dr. Phibes, Theatre of Blood, The Man with the Golden Arm, Home Alone, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, The Man Who Haunted Himself, The Boston Strangler, Sleuth, Sunset Boulevard, Sabrina, The Third Man, The Sweet Smell of Success, Citizen Kane, Mulholland Dr., Charade, Some Like it Hot, The Man Who Loved Women, Naked Gun, Naked Gun 2 1/2, Naked Gun 33 1/3, The Big Sleep, Casablanca, A Hard Day's Night, The Maltese Falcon, Laura, Anatomy of a Murder, the Indiana Jones films except Temple of Doom which is just plain awful,the James Bond films, etc..

Television:

Alfred Hitchcock Presents Arrested Development The Avengers The Critic Danger Man Extras Hustle The Job Little Britain NewsRadio The Office (UK) The Persuaders The Prisoner Rescue Me The Saint The Twilight Zone

Books:

Freakanomics, White Jazz, The Secret Lives of US Presidents, Planet India, What They Don't Teach You In Film School, The Intellectual Devotional, Bambi vs Godzilla, God vs The Gavel, Junky, On The Road, Eight Arms to Hold You, Skywriting By Word of Mouth, In His Own Write, I Like What I Know, The Pleasure Of My Company, Magical Thinking, The Art of Technique, The Power of Myth, etc.

Heroes:

a magician named gob.

My Blog

I changed the tracks underneath the train so you cant find me again.

For the past several months I have been more-or-less unemployed.  I've worked here and there on film sets or on commercial shoots, and while the money is nice, it doesn't last too long when you d...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 11:00:00 PST

And they all look just the same...

Little boxes on the hillside,Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,Little boxes, little boxes,Little boxes, all the same.There’s a green one and a pink oneAnd a blue one and a yellow oneAnd they&rsqu...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Fri, 28 Mar 2008 11:01:00 PST

How 60 hours in jail can increase your confidence!

I spent the vast majority of the last three days locked in a Los Angeles County jail.  I was locked in a group cell with around twenty other guys at any given moment.  You ate together, you ...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Sat, 22 Mar 2008 10:05:00 PST

said in the same sentence is someone slapping a pizza

It’s Family Feud!! (I’m not exactly sure how we are feuding, but COUNT ME IN - JC)YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO USE THE SAME ANSWERS!!!!!! GOOD LUCK!!!1. Name something you use in the shower?Tabi...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Wed, 12 Mar 2008 01:51:00 PST

There were problems with the theme song, too

9 March 2008   Daylight savings time.  Apparently it didn't end last year.  Apparently we aim our hatred at farmers.  (What little of them are still around)   Brett came ove...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Mon, 10 Mar 2008 02:34:00 PST

she brings me wah-ter.

8 March 2008   Sitting by the pool.  Need a tan.  Woman's papers blow right into the pool.  I larff.   Driving through Coldwater Canyon, some guy in an old, red car trie...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Wed, 05 Mar 2008 12:20:00 PST

Missouri Loves Company aka Four Wetnaps and a Funnel

It's been nearly two weeks since my last sip of alcohol.  Most normal people don't usually have to keep track of those things, but anyone who knows me will know that I drink frequently and excess...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Fri, 29 Feb 2008 02:41:00 PST

aint nothin greater than milfs with a gaylord.

For all 1.3 of my friends here or near Los Angeles, I'd like to invite you to come see me and a stellar gang of merry thugs in ORANGE LEMON EGG CANARY which opens this weekend at The Complex on Santa ...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:21:00 PST

This is Jordan. He just learned how to bend a girls knees like no ones business!

For the past several weeks I've been really, really bitchy.  People love a guy who complains nonstop.  Isn't that right, ladies/dudes?  The point here is really that I want to bitch in ...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Thu, 14 Feb 2008 02:23:00 PST

THEATRE 1 --The beginning of the dream (someone elses dream)

9 FEBRUARY 2008  DAY 1     I was supposed to go meet the cast and crew of ORANGE LEMON EGG CANARY, not thinking I was already hired or that I was anything but I crew member.  However...
Posted by An Unbeatable Pterodactyl on Mon, 11 Feb 2008 11:04:00 PST