I have an appetite for destruction! I like fruit but I'm too lazy to bring myself to eat it. I have about four or five pairs of pants that I wear, and I occasionally wear a cheap pair of swim trunks. I have two catchphrases, that are now trademarked and used for CBS. I often keep my books and school papers on a coffee table. I like to chew on the corners of my mustache. The Beach is a pretty cool movie. Taking craps has somehow become less satisfying, now they're the bane of my existence. I once owned a very smooth rock, but I lost it a long time ago. I sometimes check the mail, I don't do it everyday, but when I do... it's usually because I have an agenda. I haven't used chap stick in like two years. I crack my toes a lot. The most embarrassing thing I've ever masturbated to was one of those deck of cards with the naked ladies on em'. This pretty much summarizes who I am.
Little known facts about Ronnie:
Ronnie can in fact, back that ass up... but he decides not to, because it causes Glaucoma
A young Burt Reynolds once framed a pair of Ronnie's underpants on his wall, knowing that one day... he'd achieve the very standard Ronnie carved in stone, to not only mate with one women, but multiple women... AT THE SAME TIME!
Beyond all of his insecurities, Ronnie can play a mean harmonica, and he can give a shit what Mexicans think.
Ronnie lifts weights on a regular basis... with his penis. Sadly though, his wiener pulled a muscle and since then has retired from weight lifting, but now is a full-time vagina poker.
If you pushed Giovanni Ribisi and Ryan Gosling into a blender, baked it for twenty minutes, you'd get Ronnie... and I can assure you, it tastes gooood.
Ever asked yourself the question, "Who's baking brownies?" Well, Ronnie is... and boy is he baking them. *nods*
Ronnie is in fact Saiyan, and is merely a descendant of King Vegeta... Ronnie has reached Super Saiyan 3, but decides not to show anyone his incredible abilities, unless they suck his cock. They always suck it, but he still never shows it.
When Ronnie presses his face into dough, he can make handsome cookies.
Even though this is world knowledge, Ronnie is in fact better than everyone... he just likes to shove it in all of our faces.
Ronnie doesn't read, he chooses not to... he instead has foreigners read for him, after five minutes of confusion and silence, Ronnie scolds them and laughs... savages.
I'd like to meet:
Jonathan Taylor Thomas!!!!
JTT (♥)
also... anyone with a tight moist hole...and titties.
Oh yeah, I always wanted to dance under the desolate moonlight with an Ewok. They sure can suck a dick.
Hey kids, it's GODZOOKY!!!
Wanna know what my life-long dream is (other than marrying Michelle Williams)?? Sitting with the studio audience for a taping of Conan O'Brien...FUCK!...it gets me hard thinking about it... and he'll be in LA in 2009, SO MY CHANCES OF THIS ARE BECOMING VERY FUCKING LIKELY!!
Music:
Hmm... some of my favorites are:
Tool, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Queens of the Stone Age, Ween, Floater, Tom Waits, System of a Down, The Smiths/Morrissey, Radiohead, Nine Inch Nails, Modest Mouse, Deftones, Beck, Joy Division, anything Mark Lanegan is attached to, Harry Nilsson, The White Stripes, Rufus Wainwright, A Perfect Circle, Pearl Jam, PJ Harvey, David Bowie, The Clash, Oingo Boingo, The Misfits, The Cure, TV on the Radio, Primus, The Birthday Party, Autolux, The Organ, Dinosaur Jr., Arcade Fire, Murder by Death, Minor Threat, Daniel Johnston, Liars, etc...
Movies:
The only things I watch are hardcore porn and romantic comedies.
Television:
People who say TV is a waste of time may be right, but you know what... so are the people who say that! I watch Scrubs, The X-Files, Monk, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, Heroes, Tales from the Crypt, Freaks and Geeks, the golden age of The Simpsons (1994-1999), Breaking Bad, Dexter, MST3k (best show ever!!!), Futurama, South Park, etc...
...also, Walker Texas Ranger is the shit, Walker is a badass... he spin kicks everyone in the face.
Also I like anime, not obsessive, but there are a few series that I enjoy like Wolf's Rain, Trigun, Full Metal Alchemist, Cowboy Bebop, DB & DBZ (THE GREATEST SHOW OF ALL TIME!), as well as Yu Yu Hakusho! Samurai Champloo.
Also, pretty much every classic Nick show rules: Pete & Pete, Clarissa, Doug, Rugrats (the older episodes), Salute Your Shorts, Rocko's Modern Life, Ren & Stimpy, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, Nick Arcade (haha, it's pretty retarded now though), Wild and Crazy Kids!!!, fuck and there's so many more, uhhh... I think Nickelodian went down hill around the time Angry Beavers or Catdog came on the air (UGH, I hate those shows)... Hey Arnold was pretty much the last great Nick show, although The Secret World of Alex Mack and The Journey of Allen Strange were pretty rockin' too... but that's pretty much it...!!
I've decided that everything sounds better with an exclamation point! !!!!!!! ! !! !!!!!!!
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And The Disney Channel needs to bring Smart Guy back onto syndication, I miss it!!! And Home Movies isn't played on Adult Swim nearly enough, if at all. Also, The Discovery Channel is just quality television, except for How It's Made... that piece of shit show is like watching paint dry, I'm pretty sure they had an episode of that and watching grass grow. Probably the most depressing thought I can think of is someone actually having a favorite episode of the show. ugh... until they make one on babies, It's not worth anyone's time.
Books:
I hate books!!! derrrpy dooo!!!!! But I sure love power tools, and QUADS... X-TREME!!!!! and women... love women, LOL!!!! QUADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm gonna go bang random things in my garage now.
