â™ Showalterus Maximusâ™  profile picture

â™ Showalterus Maximusâ™ 

Owning a DSM is like dating a stripper. Sure, it's fun to ride and show off but, it will break your

About Me

I'm the coolest guy you've never met. ...unless you have met me, then I'm the coolest guy you know. ...and if we just met in passing, but haven't been formally introduced, then I'm the coolest guy you need to get to know. ...and if we've met, but we don't hang out much, then I'm the coolest guy you ever will meet....you catch my drift.Profile edited with CricketSoda's Myspace Editor
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My Interests

"Eclipse tuners are a strange sort...They dont like talking about wings or color-matching side skirts and interiors... Eclipse tuners are performance-obsessed sleeper fanatics who dream only about downpipes, exhuast gases, and wastegates. Their cars arent pretty, but have the ability to spank you silly on the highway,and from a dig. In other words, Eclipse tuners write checks their cars can cash... Mention the word "chrome" and they might drop a boot to your skull"

Music:

10 Years,36 Crazy Fists,40 Below Summer,A.F.I.,Aerosmith,All That Remains,All That Remains,Arch Enemy,As I Lay Dying,Chevelle,Children of Bodom,Chimaira,Deftones,Demon Hunter,Dimmu Borgir,Disturbed,Finch,Flaw,Flyleaf,From Autumn to Ashes,Hatebreed,Hawthorne Heights,Ill, Niño,In Flames,Incubus,The Killers,Killswitch Engage,Korn,Massive Attack,Mudvayne,Nonpoint,Nothingface,Orgy,Otep,pepper,A Perfect Circle,Powerman 5000,Powerman 5000,Sevendust,Shadows Fall,Shinedown,Soilwork,static-x,Sublime,Taking Back Sunday,Taproot,Three Days Grace,Tool,The Used,and White Zombie

Television:

I really dont watch that much tv but, when i do I like to watch to discovery channel,history channel,MXC,pinks,and that 70s show

Books:

I hope they serve beer in hell

Heroes:

Micheal Jackson .... cha cha chamon

My Blog

Epic Fail

Sure, the term "epic fail" is thrown around the Internet a lot these days, but the following "fail" moment is just too epic to simply make a fake motivational poster style picture out of it. This epic...
Posted by `Showalterus Maximus` on Sun, 31 Aug 2008 08:14:00 PST

How Showalterus Maximus came to be...

Eric Ryan Showalter was born in the town of Grand Forks AFB, North Dakota. After several years of learning primitive survival traits from the savage native Canadians from the north, Eric broke away, d...
Posted by `Showalterus Maximus` on Sun, 21 Oct 2007 10:34:00 PST

~How to pick up ladies~ A answer to a cry for help

My answer to a question I was presented with. Eric, I have a hard time talking to girls. What's the secret to finding a sexy girlfriend? anonymous (Tim) Ah Tim, good question. I suppose there are many...
Posted by `Showalterus Maximus` on Sun, 29 Jun 2008 10:36:00 PST

The Blowjob Follies (lol these are some good stories)

~Ok I need to clear things up on this blog these are just a few stories that I found that are funny they are not of me~********************************************************* ************************...
Posted by `Showalterus Maximus` on Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:35:00 PST

things at work, god..

1. IF you can afford to go out to eat, BUT you can't afford to tip... hey, guess what? You can't afford to go out to eat. 2. This is 2006 people! 10% is not acceptable anymore. Standard tipping for GO...
Posted by `Showalterus Maximus` on Wed, 01 Nov 2006 04:15:00 PST

deep thoughts

Deep Thoughts I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate.  And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it. To me, it's a good idea to always...
Posted by `Showalterus Maximus` on Mon, 16 Oct 2006 07:19:00 PST

From 4th Grade!!!

Haha I wrote this limrick in 4th grade, and I still think it's the best piece of literature I've EVER produced!School LunchI looked at my food in dismay,The slop was all over my tray!I dumped it all o...
Posted by `Showalterus Maximus` on Thu, 12 Oct 2006 11:54:00 PST