SCIENTISTS DISCOVER NEW SPECIES IN THE RAINFORESTS OF BORNEO
Early this week, scientists have classified a new species, classified as Jimiculatus, which is subdivided into three different sub-species:
Chlamydosaurus Jimmet:
This sub species is the least dangerous of the three. It spends most of its time sleeping in underground burrows. It lives on a diet of plants and large insects. It is believed that the Chlamydosaurus is tame enough to be kept as a house pet, though its ability to make funny faces may scare some small children.
Jimmyrilli Gerbillurus
This specimen eludes our scientists. Some believe that its spiky head and strange appearance are used to fend off predators. In captivity, it survives on a diet consisting solely of cat food.
Astylosternus Majimmus
The third member is a deadly predator, who hunts weaker members of it's species, such as the one shown above. The Majimmus uses colorful plumage to attract its prey, then ensnares it in its claw once the unsuspecting creature wanders close enough.
Until Animal Control units can regain control over the population, we recommend that small children are kept indoors at all times.
