Broccoli Noir profile picture

Broccoli Noir

"...as strong as a panther and bright as clover, and broccoli's spasms of killing rage!"

About Me

I was born an hermaphrodite sea otter. I still undergo about 3 surgical procedures per year. I like cracking shellfish on my belly with rocks and watching furry hermaphrodite pornographic films. Here's a nice shot of my badass cousin Arnie-- he used to work at Sea World but has since retired. Motherlicker always has some dank KB. And he doesn't have to pay taxes. Just pretty much swims about most days. He tells me that he's not once thought of suicide or been caught in a love triangle. Sometimes I wish they never started the humanization process at all... I use the myspace layout generator at UltimateMySpace.com.

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

Freud. Patton Oswalt. Kafka. Brandon Small. David Lynch. Clifford the Big Red Dog. Bill Hicks. Bob Saget. The Swedish Chef. Jeff Noon, Alice, and Rev. Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, at once. My parents when they were 23. Henry Darger. Harpo Marx. Tim Burton. Robert Anton Wilson. H.R. Giger. Dale Earnhardt. Zombies. A Lepus rabbit.

Music:

Yes. "Play from your fucking heart!"

Movies:

Good ones. And really, really terribly awful ones.

Television:

Not often, but in powerful doses.

Books:

I AM, IN FACT, A READER!

Heroes:

Inventor of The Blood Car.

My Blog

Fuckin' Stupid Shit Not Homework

Well I sure as hell am not going to do these crappy things and then NOT share.... fucking poop http://quizfarm.com/images/1131740549QuizFreddy.jpg">> You scored as Freddy Krueger. You are Freddy Krueg...
Posted by Broccoli Noir on Wed, 02 May 2007 11:17:00 PST

Don't try to fractall unimpressed...

...The Musical Stylings of Rianimator totally mandelbrot the house down!   A young musical bishop we shall call Lord RanTomfactor (the second permutation, of course. RAW credit where RAW credit i...
Posted by Broccoli Noir on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 12:17:00 PST

I want you to hit me as hard as you can

I could just not share this. It would save me much embarrassment. I could keep it to myself, see if anyone points it out later. In all likelihood, no one would point it out. But I'm a pretty honest s...
Posted by Broccoli Noir on Mon, 26 Feb 2007 12:06:00 PST

In lieu of shows, I go to....Club Blog

So there are THREE quality shows this evening, all of which will go on without me. Deerhoof at The Werehouse. Mastodon (should be performing in my pants!). Dark Star Orchestra at The Lincoln Theatre. ...
Posted by Broccoli Noir on Fri, 23 Feb 2007 12:46:00 PST

A Pack of Squirrels, One Dog, and nothing left to hold on to.

¡Well surely you have heard the latest in completely obscene, perhaps unprecedented animal behavior...Have you not, dear friend? Well, along with Josh--who spread the word of hellish Herr Douglas Fir ...
Posted by Broccoli Noir on Sun, 17 Dec 2006 10:33:00 PST

Of Shopping and Seizures

There was phone call at approx. 2300 hours EST placed to my personal cellular communication device, transmitted from a similar hand-held communicator that belonged to one Ben-jammin'. He was in the co...
Posted by Broccoli Noir on Sun, 26 Nov 2006 10:58:00 PST

A number of ideas

I've just come up with several ideas. Maybe this time, if I tell people, my insane plans will come to fruition.  You want to help, friend? There are suggestions for those who like to help other p...
Posted by Broccoli Noir on Sat, 11 Nov 2006 02:25:00 PST

Here's the real blogness

Fuck.
Posted by Broccoli Noir on Tue, 31 Oct 2006 07:31:00 PST