Steve - ProfilesArchive

About Me

I'm narcissistic, I'm pessimistic, I'm obsessive, I'm insecure and I am so afraid of intimacy that every one of my relationships is a journey of self-sabotage that inevitably ends in a black vacuum of shattered expectations and despair. If you still want to get to know me, leave me a message.

I have a sick, stupid, juvenile sense of humor. In other words, I'm a disaster as a human being. However, I'm a down-to-earth, intelligent, outgoing, insightful, sarcastic, funny, genuine, loyal person. I am also a very hardworking, goal-oriented guy. I was born and raised in the Detroit area, but moved to Cleveland to go into business for myself. (CHECK OUT WWW.WIRELESSTOYZ.COM)

My Interests

I like to hang out with friends, listen to great music, eat great food and party in great places like Las Vegas, Miami/Ft. Lauderdale and Toronto. I'm very interested in intelligent women. I'm interested in cool cars (fast, exotic, luxury, etc). I really love movies. Besides that, I love Michigan Sports:

I'd like to meet:

I would like to meet just about any hot girl who wants to hook up with me. Email me and we'll set it up. But I'd be even more down to meet a girl who wants to do my laundry and clean my house. I can find sex easily, but finding a girl who will clean up after me is hard. Seriously ladies, I am not joking about this. If you are in North Eastern Ohio or are willing to travel here, email me and we'll figure it out. I will repay you with witty banter, hot animal sex, a swift kick to the spine, or whatever turns you on.

Music:

This is the spot where everyone writes "I like everything" but they don't really mean it. Well, I really DO like everything from Rap/Hip-Hop to Country to Dance/Techno to Pop to Rock to Oldies and pretty much anything in between. My favorite bands are the Beatles, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Woodward . I really love music. My iPod holds about 3000 songs from over 250 artists.

Movies:

Pulp Fiction is the greatest film ever made. Scarface is the most overrated movie ever made. I love comedies, dramas, thrillers, some foreign films and even some "chick flicks". Some of my favorite movies include The Godfather Part 1 and 2, The Shawshank Redemption, A Bronx Tale, American History X, Goodfellas, Casino, Blow, Office Space, Old School, Euro Trip, Memento, American Pie, Team America: World Police, Amelie, Run Lola Run, Fight Club, and I'm not embarrassed to admit that I love the Princess Bride.

Television:

Howard Stern, The Real World, South Park, Family Guy, The Simpsons, American Dad, The War at Home, Scrubs, Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and SportsCenter

Books:

The Catcher in the Rye, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, Tuesdays with Morrie, Private Parts (by Howard Stern), Miss America (also by Howard Stern), The 48 Laws of Power, and all of Donald Trump's books.

Heroes:

Donald Trump (for his business acumen), Warren Buffett (for his investing skills), Howard Stern (because he is a genius!), Sean Carter (because he is a great artist and an even better businessman) and Hugh Hefner (another genius!)

My Blog

Why I Dont Have a Girlfriend

It seems that every time I meet a new girl, she will inevitably ask me, "So, why don’t you have a girlfriend?" I never know how to answer this question. I’ve been thinking abou...
Posted by Steve on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 12:42:00 PST

Similarities Between Strippers and Vending Machines

Recently, I calculated that I've been going to strip clubs since I was 18 (that's 9 years). If I averaged a trip to the titty club once every three months and spent an average of $50-$1000 per t...
Posted by Steve on Thu, 18 Oct 2007 07:42:00 PST

What Grinds My Gears

Some things that really grind my gears: 1.) Ohio State Fans - FUCK YOU! "O-H-I-O"...Good for you. You know how to spell the name of the bullshit state that you live in. Here's a quarter. G...
Posted by Steve on Tue, 02 Jan 2007 08:00:00 PST

The Perfect Karaoke Song

The Perfect Karaoke Song Any real man knows that he is nothing if he does not karaoke. In Japan, karaoke skills are held above the ability to conceive children. But it isnt just about the abilit...
Posted by Steve on Fri, 23 Jun 2006 04:02:00 PST

As I've Gotten Older...

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I've learned that one good turn gets most of the blankets. I've learned that no matter...
Posted by Steve on Tue, 07 Mar 2006 07:34:00 PST

Chemistry Midterm

I found this on someone's myspace. I had to copy, paste it, and share it with all of you: The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The an...
Posted by Steve on Wed, 01 Mar 2006 02:15:00 PST

Some Words of Wisdom

My friend Carlo sent this to me in an e-mail. While his e-mails are delete-worthy 95% of the time, this one actually struck a chord with me. Read on: As we grow up, we learn that even the ...
Posted by Steve on Tue, 08 Nov 2005 03:45:00 PST

WOMEN'S GUIDE TO DRIVING MEN CRAZY

WOMEN'S GUIDE TO DRIVING MEN CRAZY1. Do not say what you mean. Ever.2. Be ambiguous. Always. 3. Cry. Cry often. Tell us it's our fault. 4. Bring things up that were said, done, or thought ye...
Posted by Steve on Wed, 19 Oct 2005 03:39:00 PST

Profound Words...

This morning, as I walked to my car, already late for work, I saw a photograph next to my left, front tire. I picked up the picture and studied it. It looked like a tombstone, or an engrav...
Posted by Steve on Sun, 16 Oct 2005 04:39:00 PST

The Top Ten Reasons Not to Date Anyone Who Makes a "Top Ten Reasons to Date Them" List

The Top Ten Reasons Not to Date Anyone Who Makes a Top Ten Reasons to Date Them List Weve all seen them, they make their way into the AIM profile of girls from all kinds of sports teams. Date a ...
Posted by Steve on Sat, 17 Sep 2005 11:23:00 PST