So for those of you who don’t know me and are fucking nosey, my name is Todd Grant, i’m 23 years of age and i currently live in my own home here in wichita, KS. i couldn’t ask for a better location, the first portion of this sentence is in fact sarcasm. i’m 100% convinced that my neighbors to the east are running a meth lab out of the garage in their back yard and that all of the meth produced in that lab is being consumed entirely by the whole family. those who have been on my roof and peered into their backyard will agree. if you haven’t been on my roof and are interested in having a look, give me a call. i’ll provide the ladder if you provide the six pack. my neighbors to the west are a bunch of fucking mormons with the WPD on speed dial. any noise i make after dark results in a call to the police, meanwhile their four mentally handicapped dogs bark non stop from the time i get home to the time i leave. fuck you neighbors, die in fire. but back to me and shit. over the years i’ve acquired two aliases, both of which are stemmed from a night of drunken belligerence. the first is TOG, which is apparently how you spell TODD when you’re trashed, totally an accident but i went with it. the second is RUMOR because i fucking have it. i have a dog named emery who has proven to be a chick magnet. i drink beer a lot but refuse to be labeled an alcoholic. i tend to simulate maturity and responsibility by owning a home, paying bills and holding a decent job for nearly 4 years but in actuality i am far from either. i’m tired of typing, deuces.
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