Dunno how it's gonna end. Things are bad enough already and could hardly get worse. The shit's gonna hit the fan soon. One shouldn't say that too often, because it probably has been proclaimed at least twice a week for the past six millenia or so. Yet, many wait, too many even crave for the apocalypse, the ultimate meltdown of the world we've known, believing there will be an otherworldly paradise. Others picture nothingness, hell itself. Longing for death, both groups hope to escape the very reality they have crafted during their lifetime and try to quicken their beloved Day X.
Ultimately, their intention is clear and their motivation revealed. The sickness of our collective culture asks for remedy, the extraction of the cancer instead of tampering with the symtoms. So for some the best soloution is to trigger the reset button. Wipe out the current Operating System. Replace it with a better one. Depending on which side we're on, we're most likely to either rule the world or get deleted, archived for no further use and - eventually - forgotten.
Even the leaders of nations seemingly shape their policies after the paradigm of a soon-to-come all-out war in which their respective deities will come to their aid and smash the enemy who is responsible for all our suffering. An increasing few tough suspect that the concept of Ar-Mageddon is merely a trick to induce the venom of fear into the lifestreams of this planet. Sure the powers that be have the weapons to destroy all life on our beautiful planet...
If they have, it is us who have given them the power, legitimizing their positions as wielders of might and glory in democratic processes, through consent by silence or for being divided and conquered. We have enslaved ourselves and our children for the promise of "freedom" and "security".
Let us be honest to ourselves. There will be no hero, no saviour, no leader and no almighty god to prevent things from happening. Noone's going to save the day like in a good book or a nice flick, you know, no "chosen one", no messianic figure, no superman. Life's just going to go on - with, or, in any case at some later point, without us. Chances are that noone will ever know how it ended at all. And why would we want to know? Would take all the fun away, wouldn't it?
People are so obsessed with the ending, the great conclusio, the catastrophé. But how is it going to begin? When will we start to make sense of history and build a future from it - for a better, hopeful today? One to be proud of once it has become past? Where do we begin? What kind of place should our lifes take place in?
Close your eyes for a few seconds and imagine what it would look like, smell like, taste, feel and sound like. Do it now, please, really do it.
I think that is how it is going to begin.
i always loved music, even as a kid i used to guide imaginary orchestras - with a baton, of course - through the crackling "An der schönen blauen Donau" vinyl records. Later, i dubbed Agnetha and Frida when they sang "Can you hear the drums, Fernando?".
i never learned to play any instruments, though. Can't tell you why exactly... bad karma or so.
For a long time, there was hope for mankind i'd never touch an instrument or make any sound at all. Now it's time to duck and cover.
i don't consider myself a "musician" because i'm really not. i respect musicians too much for that. so, why am i putting this stuff on myspace for everyone to hear, wasting webspace and bandwidth and your precious lifetime?
If only i had a message to convey... you know... something funny or something worth thinking about, a valuable idea, a gripping meme, in form of a cool slogan, a short tag line or a nice logo summing it all up - but there is none.
Not that i'm too lazy to come up with one. Au contraire. It's so easy. Just pick any, any topic you like and audience will be guaranteed.
What topic shall we discuss then? You've read this far, so what did you expect? Explain the world? Shit, i don't even know you! me explain myself? Boring.
Au lieu, there could be thousands of wise quotes from wise men all over the page, conveying a world view in my place. But there is nothing upon i wish to agree or disagree with you. Life is as it is. We all see and feel differently. That's okay and the way things should be.
Right now, though, what we do is what is called "communication". It is impossible not to communicate. It's magic, because we form reality through communication. When trees communicate, each tree's perspective of reality shifts. The blacksmith communicates, by means of his hammer, with the iron he wants to forge. Because that is the language the iron understands. Even as the waves of the ocean clash against the rocky coast, bidding its demise, reality is being modified.
By reading these very letters, you communicate you want me to shift your perception, and would also like to shift mine, and i gladly accept your invitation. Thank you!
This is going to be a long read, mind you, and will be modified as the weeks pass by. So i suggest you take a comfortable seat and have a drink, bookmark this page, add me as your friend and leave a comment.
Because, yes, after all, i have a message to convey but won't pose you riddles by sticking to the concision of arbitrariness that has become the hallmark of these times. i can't upload my thoughts and emotions into your brain, so i will give my best to make this read as enjoyable as possible to you by tweaking it over and over again, until i'm wholly satisfied.
You know, i have found some kind of inner peace and try every day to blend in with that beautiful stream of conciousness around me, without any hopes or expectations. Still too often i am faced with those ethical dilemmas that can't be solved logically or rationally. "Do what thou wilt" is not the whole of law.
Please do not misunderstand. i am happy but can not rest until i've found what i'm missing deep inside of me. Here i am, riding the waves, roaming the unfathomable oceans of reality, hoping to find one day the last unconquered island, a place to stay in peace, joy, freedom and happiness.
Love is the wind in the sails of my vessel, sometimes gusts of storm and sometimes doldrums. i control them not. i take them for what they are.
The maps i gathered before i set out on this journey have not all the rocks and shoals charted that loom under the surface, so the best i could do is to make my boat as light as possible.
Once, it was ballasted with the weight of problems that were not mine at all, so i threw them overboard. i had no more freight to protect, so the weaponry became useless as well, and it sank to the bottom of the sea.
So, when you see my ship on the horizon, greet me with your flag and wish me good wind. Or come aboard and enjoy my humble hospitality. There is enough wind for all of us and an island for each of us.
There is a problem with this beautiful metaphor, of course. What do i do to have something to eat aboard my ship?
Reality can be so cruel. Reality means that i have to go to work, earn some money and take it to the grocery store so i can fill up my fridge and spend the rest for some of that modest luxury like CDs, DVDs, a new computer every five years and the monthly rent for my 22m² apartement. This is not to say that i object to working and earning my living, in fact, i am very blessed with a job i love, i get to know so many interesting people and, in fact, sometimes i have so much fun that i should pay my boss for the right to do my job (but don't tell him!).
So why complain? Why not get a proper education, find a better job, earn more money, afford some less modest luxury (like a larger appartement, or a state-of-the-art computer every year), and spend the rest for a good cause?
Why am i still one of those critics who continue to complain about how injust and corrupt our system is, instead of using its mechanics for my own benefit? Isn't it a lame excuse to say "i just don't see the point in getting rich"?
To be honest, i'm just plain lazy. i'd rather lever the whole pyramid on its head than even consider for a second to climb it. Here is my leverage, would you like to lend me a hand?
Who of you disagrees with me when i say that the system is corrupt and inefficient and favors an ever-shrinking elite minority of the wealthy and powerful over the vast majority of those who struggle for life or even suffer from hunger, illnesses, wars and their traumas? You agree, but you say it's their own fault, karmic or otherwise...? To an extent, you may even be right. But let me argue that most of them don't even have the freedom of choice. You can't shackle someone's hands behind his back and then pretend it's his fault that his hair looks unkempt. Likewise, shackles around mind and brains make it impossible for many to raise their fists in anger against their unrighteous masters; blindfolded, they even suspect their neighbors (who are just as shackled and blinded as they are) of commiting such atrocities against them.
No; the flaw in the system is intrinsic and deeply rooted in each of us. If you have noticed any discrepancies between the world that you saw when you closed your eyes earlier (at the beginning of this reading) and the reality you see when you open your eyes, be not alarmed. It's okay, it's allright. I have to go to work now, so i will continue writing at some later point. In the meantime, you may want to make up your own mind instead of believing everything i wrote so far. i greatly welcome and appreciate any criticism and suggestions.
So long
Aka