And she used to be such a nice girl...

About Me

I am a sheep in wolf's clothing. (Baa.) My personality is an amalgamation of contradictory quirks. I hate dolphins. I consider beer a member of the grain group on the food pyramid. Pancakes are my favorite food. I like naps. I drink way too many energy drinks. I wear hoodies in the summer. I do a really great Little Richard impression. I'm clumsy and prone to wounding myself in strange ways. You don't want to get on my bad side... width="425" height="350" ..

My Interests

Air America Radio, amphibians, baking, barbeque, Biblical allusions, brawling, breakfast, caffiene, cartoons, categorical imperative, Coast to Coast AM, coffee, cooking, creative self-destruction, CrimeLibrary.com, death (its hows and whys), Dracula, Edward Gorey, empiricism, epistemology, existentialism, fancy cheeses, gardening, gin, gore, fucking up really really badly, Harry Potter, hedonism, holistic health, horror films, Hume, insects, kung fu films, monkeys, muscles, nataliedee.com, nihilsim, philosophy, politics, pugilism, Rachel Maddow, reading, regret, reptiles, screenwriting, senseless violence, tea, the girl I used to be, Tom Collins, unchecked agression, unicorns, violence for its own sake, violent obsession with "the other woman," weight lifting, yoga

I'd like to meet:

The screenwriting agent of my dreams. Anyone with a pet monkey. (Chimp owners need not apply.) Exquisite conversationalists. Folks who can drink me under the table and live to tell about it. All the people I used to know and love. People who don't suck (or lie or cheat). The girl I used to be. The girl I'll never be. This guy.
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Music:

The Brian Setzer Orchestra, Counting Crows, Elvis Presley, Gary Jules, Gorillaz, Hank Williams, The Jackson 5, Little Richard, Louis Prima, MFlo, The Mooney Suzuki, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Postal Service, The Realistics, Rufus Wainwright, The Saints, Shakira, Spoon, Weezer, Witches..START BZOINK.COM SURVEY CODE
Your Life: The Soundtrack
Opening credits: There She Is - Witches
Waking up: This Perfect Day - The Saints
Average day: Opium Tea - Nick Cave
First date: Brand New Colony - Postal Service
Falling in love: My Beloved Monster - Eels
Love scene: Son of a Gun - Nirvana
Fight scene: 40 oz - D12
Breaking up: Always See Your Face - Love
Getting back together: I Want You Back - Jackson 5
Secret love: I Can Tell That We Are Gonna Be Friends - The White Stripes
Life's okay: Across the Universe - Rufus Wainwright
Mental breakdown: Between the Bars - Elliot Smith
Driving: Happy Drive - MFlo
Learning a lesson: Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley
Deep thought: Uniroyal - Bows
Flashback: Glosoli - Sigur Ros
Partying: She's Automatic - Rancid
Happy dance: 19-2000 - Gorillaz
Regreting: Cold Blooded Old Times - Smog
Long night alone: Why Didn't You Stay? - The Realistics
Death scene: Mad World - Gary Jules
Closing credits: Dancing with Myself - Billy Idol
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Movies:

Anchorman, Batman Begins, Cinderella Man, Dodgeball, Drunken Master, Fong Sai Yuk, Freeway, Full Metal Jacket, Gladiator, Harry Potter, The Haunting, Kill Bill, Lord of the Rings, Pi, Requiem for a Dream, Spiderman, Spiritied Away, Suburbia, Super Troopers, Superman Returns, Titus

Television:

CSI. Yup. That's it. Oh, wait. And this.

Books:

A BLIND MAN CAN SEE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU by Amy Bloom. CATCH-22 by Joseph Heller. THE FALL by Albert Camus. THE GASHLYCRUMB TINIES by Edward Gorey. GEEK LOVE by Katherine Dunn. HARRY POTTER by J.K. Rowling. HOCUS POCUS by Kurt Vonnegut. THE LITTLE PRINCE by Antoine de St. Exupery. LOLITA by Vladimir Nabokov. LORD OF THE RINGS by J.R.R. Tolkein. THE MYSTERY OF HARRIS BURDICK by Chris Van Allsburg. NINE STORIES by J.D. Salinger. THE ONCE AND FUTURE KING by T.H. White. PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS by Alan Gurganus. STILL LIFE WITH WOODPECKER by Tom Robbins. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE by Maurice Sendak

Heroes:

Batman. Guts. Yossarian.

My Blog

Rusty

Rusty is the new fellow with whom I share my living quarters. Rusty, incidentally, is a spider. We were acquainted when he jumped on my face Wednesday night. I think he wanted to crawl...
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Sat, 26 Apr 2008 08:56:00 PST

I am...

You know that asshole who when watching something that implicity demands one suspend disbelief will say, "Yeah right. That could never happen!"? Yeah? That asshole is me....
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Tue, 18 Mar 2008 10:56:00 PST

Sometimes peeing on Kellys mom can save your life.

This is by no means a current event any longer. It happened well over a month ago, but for those of you who never heard the story, it’s a good one, and well worth telling long after the fa...
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Sun, 16 Mar 2008 03:09:00 PST

"I flopped the nuts!"

Okay, let’s get one thing straight here. I did not flop the nuts. The title of this blog is a quote. An Erin quote.That’s right.Erin flopped the nuts.Whatever that means.Apparently it&r...
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Sat, 15 Mar 2008 02:50:00 PST

Mermaids

I imagine mermaids reproduce much like salmon, only without the dying. That can't be much fun. I can see why they wouldn't bother.
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Sat, 08 Mar 2008 09:50:00 PST

Back to My Roots

So, seriously, you guys, be on the lookout for my ten-page essay about why I WILL NEVER DYE MY HAIR BLACK AGAIN. Sure, it looked cool, but that shit was hard to get out, and I don't think I have...
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 01:43:00 PST

Eff ’em and feed ’em fish heads.

There really is no one to fuck and feed fish heads. I just happened to like the expression. My father told me about it when I told him that at work, they chain me to my desk and feed me fish heads....
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Fri, 07 Mar 2008 04:00:00 PST

Nostalgia...

I used to have a Betta named Sam. He was in love with a cat. Their love could never be. I think he died of a broken heart.
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Tue, 05 Feb 2008 12:54:00 PST

I will always fuck up everything.

No, seriously, I will.In fact, it seems I have again.
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Tue, 05 Feb 2008 10:13:00 PST

I’ve lost my damn mind.

I spilled some soup last night.So I wiped it up. With my cat.Grandma, not Billy.The strangest part of the whole thing, though, is that she didn't seem to mind. At all.She was just licking herself lik...
Posted by And she used to be such a nice girl... on Wed, 16 Jan 2008 01:01:00 PST