I'm a short, stocky, slow-witted, bald man. The best friend of Jerry Seinfeld since childhood, I once tried to poison his boss. I was forced to move back in with my parents whose constant bickering annoys me greatly. Unable to have much sucess with women (I drove two to lesbianism), I proposed to former girlfriend Susan Ross when I decides to try to make something of my life. Unfortunately, she was poisoned by the cheap wedding invitations I bought. Me and Jerry pitched an idea of a television series 'about nothing', and produce a pilot, only to have the show canceled. 5 years later though, me and Seinfeld are asked to make the show.
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