darien3

Some areas contain adult content/ references/ innuendoes which may be inappropriate for non-adult and other sensitive readers

..
http://www.myheritage.com/collage

It can take me a while to "let you in" -
sometimes a LONG while.
Once you ARE my friend, there are few limitations - and as far as I am concerned, it's for LIFE.

Uh - just don't ever fuck me over...

I enjoy talking with just about anyone.
I only add people to my "friends list"
who, well - ARE friends already.
A good place to start is by talking.

Pretty basic, really...

darien3's details

Status: In a Relationship
Here for: Networking, Friends
Hometown: Dighton/ Taunton/ Raynham/ Westport, Massachusetts
Body type: 5'11"/ Average
Ethnicity: Azorean Portuguese/
Native American
Zodiac Sign: Scorpio
(right on the Libra/ Scorpio cusp, actually)
Smoke / Drink: No / No
Children: Undecided
Education: Grad/ Professional School
Occupation: Genitalia Analyst/Ass Bandit/ Stupidity Eradicator

Seriously?

Sociologist - Youth Counseling/ Legal Advocacy

Law Student -
Constitutional Law, Civil and Human Rights concentrations

Rock Vocalist, keyboardist, guitarist

Right now, I'm at home - addressing some medical problems.

Some Interests
Jump To Friends
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Also on MySpace ...
Covenstead (current band/ recording project)
Past Bands/ Projects
Pentacle Records

"I really wish you'd see fit to dispense with all of these religious ceremonies..."
Robert Redford to his "squaw bride," in " Jeremiah Johnson ."

Atari's "Tempest" - my favorite of the old arcade video games... We'd hang out in the video arcades OFTEN, in our free time. There was a subculture of gamers. I'd bet that all of the quarters I'd pumped in to this game would buy me a new car now.

Before bothering to go here, you DO know what satire is, right? You DO have a sense of humor, right? You ARE either an adult or a more mature teen, who isn't easily offended by harsh, direct "language" nor by controversial subjects, right? OK... Then, go for it...
"My Favorite Things"

"Girls in white dresses
with blue satin sashes;
Snowflakes that stay
on my nose and eyelashes;
Silver-white winters
that melt into springs;
These are a few of
my favorite things..."

BLAH - that syrupy sweet shit
makes me wanna wretch !!!

Fly AWAY - you needlemark-riddled NANNY FROM HELL !!!

Take a shower, already - you goddamned flittery loons !!!
"la dee da la dee da la la la la la
These are a few of my favorite things..." (haha)
Oh, yeah? Who gives a rat's ass, Sweetie Pie ?
Here are a few of mine:

Hunting - now, I DIDN'T say for WHAT or WHOM - I DON'T kill animals, survival, personal protection, and other similar imperative skills and collectible "tools of the trade..."
Whenever the mood suddenly strikes me, wearing something "unusual" right along with everything else, to make others who don't KNOW me wonder about my sexuality, religious beliefs, sanity, etc. - but most especially making them wonder what my intentions/ plans might be...

Shaving the backs, shoulders, knuckles, toes, and chests of hirsute women
Bobsledding - particularly down steep, icy cliffs and off of steep and icy high roofs
Saying and doing shocking things - to, or in front of - pseudo-Puritans
Telling the Jehovah's Witness lady that my band covers Black Sabbath, Judas Priest - etc, etc (this one is real, and it happened LONG ago) - having her tell me that I'm going to "hell" - then telling her, "get the fu*k out of my house"
Building igloos
Spearfishing for Moray eels
Standing on my head while eating
Traipsing around in the nude in my front yard, on the busy street corner where I live
Regurgitating - so that I get to taste food twice
Disturbing the "priest"
Calling random phone numbers and offering free enemas to whoever answers
Burning crosses on front lawns
Writing filthy messages, sticking them into a bottle, then chucking it into the ocean

Running over small dogs and cats with my 12-speed
Downloading lesbian and gay porno movies + pics, renaming them " Bambi ," " Pinnochio ," etc. - then uploading them to "innocent" and religious websites

Shaving my head and carving an "X" in my forehead, like Charles Manson , my idol (LOL)

Wishing - every chance I get - that something "exciting" like the Tate/ LaBianca or Simpson/ Goldman murders would happen in my neighborhood
Urinating in mall fountains
At stop lights, getting out of my car, squatting, and defecating right on the median strip - where I'm SURE to "have an audience"
Kissing a picture of Anton LaVey every night, upon waking - and every morning before sleeping

Wishing the ill-fated shuttle had left a souvenier (debris) in my neck of the woods
Taking LSD, mescaline, ecstacy, or some other hallucinogen, then screwing a random stranger all night long
Deliberately gouging all of my CDs and DVDs with a razor knife, so that I have a "legitimate excuse" to buy new ones
Tailgating - like all of the other fu*king assholes on the streets today, who shouldn't even be granted a moped license
Leaving on - or deliberately putting on - my high beams, "for" approaching vehicles
Making goddamned SURE that my high beams are EXACTLY in the rear view mirror/s of the drivers in front of me
Growing pot and opium poppies where I tore out all of the Christmas trees, on my 5,000 acre ranch in Antarctica
Synthesizing LSD, MDMA, PCP and other mind altering hallucinogens in my wine cellar lab - primarily to peddle to the first-graders at the nearby elementary school

Dumping banned pesticides into the local water supply
Wandering aimlessly in unfamiliar, run-down parts of the city, at night, just to experience the feeling of terror - yet, praying that someone won't jack me up
Shaving the neighbor's kitty cat
Breaking bottles, then bringing the shards to the beach with me and burying them about an inch under the sand. The bottle bottoms, facing upward with all the jagged edges "work" particularly well
Setting traps in endangered wildlife habitats
Setting boobie traps out in my woods, where I know the neighbor's kids play
Going into a fit of rage when unwary "solicitors" come to my door
Loading up on Castor Oil and raw eggs (like "Lard Ass" in the movie " Stand By Me ") then going to a high end restaurant and ordering something I can't STAND - and making a big scene by barfing all over the place and blaming it on THEIR food

"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?"

Planting illegal drugs in unsuspecting "friends'" cars, then calling the police when they drop me off
Seeding marijuana plants in the neighbor's field, then when they get to a height of about 4 feet, calling the police

Tying my cousin's friend to a chair, then hanging her out the window of the hayloft, just to hear her scream and to get a look at the terror on her face
Tying my cousin's friend to a chair, then clamping the terminals of a battery charger on her rings on either hand, and scaring the shit out of her that I was going to turn it on
Poking a stick into the spokes of childrens' bicycles, as they ride by
Going to "Sunday Mass" with the specific intent of making rude noises and disrupting it
Eating whale and dolphin
Poisoning the neighbors' wells, with the intent that they'll have to get the fu*k out - and no one else will be able to live there
Hiding in the darkness, on Halloween night - then jumping the kid with the most candy

Setting off fire alarms in public places
Setting fires... ANYWHERE...
Calling someone who works days every weeknight, all through the night, after they have disturbed my sleep
Cutting out the butter box, so that I can see the tits on the Land-O-Lakes lady
"Borrowing" the neighbor's car, then racing in it, playing chicken - jumping out at the last second and letting it plunge off the ledge into the quarry FAR below
Spraypainting gravestones
Taking one of those plant misting bottles and using it to spray gas all over the town common Holiday display, then lighting it all on fire
Whenever walking past a fire hydrant, lifting my leg and "spraying"
Whenever and wherever encountering a crucifix, turning it upside down just to freak out whoever put it there
Taking all the junk (snail) mail and marking "Return To Sender" on it, so they have to pay the postage twice. Maybe that'll teach 'em to stop cutting down the last trees
Faking an epileptic seizure, heart attack, or some other dire medical emergency - with the hopes that the EMTs will be goodlooking and I can cop a feel in the back of the ambulance
Taking a can of black paint and a wide paint brush, and painting over the center lines on the road
Going through the Dunkin Donuts drive thru, and when they hand me a cup of scalding hot coffee - you know, the kind of "hot" that would scald the spots off of a Dalmation - taking off the cover and throwing it back in the window attendant's face

Going through the Burger King drive thru, ordering a HUGE amount of food, then telling them at the payment window that if I'm supposed to be able to "have it my way" I want the food for free
Going through the McDonald's drive thru and saying "Mc" before everything that I say to them
Going inside of Papa Gino's, and when I FINALLY get my food, whipping the pizza across the dining room - like a Frisbee
Ordering a sub with hot peppers (or anything else that's really spicey) then making a big show of gagging noises and wiping my forehead, for the specific purpose of spoiling every other customer's meal
Going into pet stores, letting all of the animals loose, and pouring food coloring and bleach into all of the aquariums
Going into a Chinese restaurant and ordering lo-mein with whatever else I get, then taking the container of meely worms out of my pocket, dumping them into the lo-mein and mixing them in - then making a big scene
Deliberately NOT showering or bathing for a week or two, taking a handkerchief and wiping my sweaty, fetid ass crack with it - then offering it to a weeping mourner at a funeral
Almost getting arrested for taking "Goth pictures" of my friend , and him taking them of me, at Swan Point in Providence, RI (and NO - this one is NOT made up, it really happened. The most "peculiar" part about this is that I had been there alone, shortly before this particular time - WHILE A FUNERAL WAS GOING ON - and taking pics - and NO ONE said a fucking thing to me about doing it).
more pics/ photo scrapbook

Lighting up a cigarette whenever and wherever I please, as a definitive visual "screw you" statement to all of these fu*king "anti-this, anti-that" FANATICS
Slamming on my brakes in front of some tailgating obviously way more rich than even we are fu*ker, then having my lawyers take 'em to the cleaners
Writing the phone numbers of my ex's in the men's rooms of all the sleeziest area dives
Spray painting all of the stop signs black, so that there'll be a lot less "newcomers" in the area. They aren't familiar with the roads, so they will drive right though it. Next they end up in a grave. One less lost motherfu*ker for me to be stuck behind, BRAKE dancing and looking all around because they have no fu*king CLUE as to where they are
Taking down the "one way" signs - but only where the street comes OUT
As I walk past those large public mailboxes, pouring gunpowder down inside of them, then chucking in a lit match
Scrawling filthy words and doodling dirty pictures in the page borders of a coloring book, then giving it to my friends' children to play with when they come over
Squirting liquid Miracle Gro plant food into an unsuspecting guest's coffee or other drink, before sneakingly serving it to them
Rigging my car so that, at the pull of a lever, oil spews out the back and all over the road - so that tailgaters can't stop
Taking an indelible black marker into the stores with me and altering the scan lines on whatever I'm buying, so that it rings up close to no price at all
Stopping my car and beating the shit out of the elderly person on the roadside who's collecting deposit cans because s/he can't make ends meet, then stealing their cans and bottles and cashing them in
Taking an entire box of diet pills before going to the doctor, so that when s/he checks my blood pressure, it's right through the roof
Going to a local funeral home and pretending that someone just died, so that I can rip all of the lining out of the caskets, to make renaissance clothing out of it
Slitting my boss' brake lines with a razor, so that she's killed on the icy roads, on her way home from work
Taking someone for a "walk in the woods," where my friends are waiting - then tying them up and making them believe that we're going to burn them at the stake
Writing to people - no matter WHAT they "look like" - inquiring as to how much they charge to haunt a house
Stealing chloroform from the school laboratory, then using it to knock someone out so that I can "have my way" with them
Making believe that I'm a steadfast Republican, then spitting right in Bush's face upon "having the chance to meet him"
Repeatedly playing "Revolution 9," "Stairway To Heaven" and "Disposible Teens" backwards, in a vain attempt to FINALLY hear the "hidden Satanic messages"
Making cookies and brownies with ground glass in them, to pass out for Halloween treats
Hooking a dog leash in someone's lip ring, then dragging them around by it
Pouring Liquid Drano on someone's brand new tattoo - while they're sleeping (wakes 'em up every time...)
When I see someone being a real asshole to other people on the internet, putting up a "tribute page" to them, altering their photos, making up all kinds of nasty shit about them, etc. Next, I do a mass emailing, so that I make sure everyone I know sees it...
Taking a vial or two of Anthrax to a political convention, then chucking it so that it shatters in the middle of the arena, just as I'm exiting to safety
This is my 2nd and favorite electric. Yes, it's a Fender Stratocaster. I bought this one in the mid-90s, when I decided to start playing guitar again. My first electric was a Gretsch Country Gentleman hollow-bodied, way back when I was 15.

After a female friend who is having her period has visited, going through the bathroom trash can and removing the used tampon and/ or pad in order to use the magickally powerful menstrual blood in a hex or ritual
Manipulating a friend or relative into taking me along to someone's house, who in reality I can't STAND, in order to filch through their bathroom ashtrays and trash baskets, and all along the sides of the vanity - near the floor - in order to obtain fingernail clippings, hair, flaked skin and the like - to use in rituals and hexes against them
Asking to "use the bathroom," (in the same manner as outlined directly above) then stealing a hatpin, common pin, or safety pin - to use on a voodoo wanga doll of the very person whom it originally belonged to

Taking Xylol (a VERY chemically powerful acetone-like enamel thinner) and pouring it all over the paint finish of a vehicle of someone who has pissed me off
Advanced method: pouring Xylol all over the finish, then lighting it on fire - this is especially effective for making "quick work" of it
After the person upstairs had pissed me off with their overhead loudness (when I used to live in an apartment) taking a plant mister outside, into the sub-zero weather, and little by little, misting the outside stairs which lead up to their apartment. There now - let 'em stomp up (or DOWN) those
Printing a shitload of smaller bills which I have scanned, then passing them off to all the local businesses, as real currency
Scanning and then printing out larger bills, stuffing them into a purse or wallet - with some of the "money" sticking out and clearly visible and identifiable - then putting it in a place where someone reaching for it will go flying down a steep cliff, off a bridge, into traffic, onto the subway's third rail, etc. Then sitting nearby and taking pictures of whatever happens because of it
Flying my private Lear Jet to Iceland , so that I can get a head start on my snow skiing - then bathe in the steamy geothermal pools - all in the same day
Taking EXTREME pleasure in beating the fuck out of ANYONE that I catch being EVEN THE "LEAST BIT" CRUEL to ANY animal, and/ or to other people (without provocation, for people). Oftentimes, the PEN is a lot mightier than the sword. I enjoy using that method, too - almost as much. ALMOST.

Going into laundramats with a couple handfuls of those "industrial stregnth super permanent ink" indelible markers - black, of course - uncapping them, then throwing a couple into each washload

Unexpectedly putting rocks along the street on my front lawn, so that the next time some in-a-hurry son of a bitch PASSES there, instead of tearing up my lawn, it tears up the entire undercarriage of their car
Writing stories, mixing ridiculous claims in with the truth - or even just totally making up the whole thing - to make people laugh, to shock people, to make people wonder, and to just plain entertain people...
Writing things like this just to make sure that you're paying attention

Believe (all of) these and, uh, of course I'll add a lot more as I think them up...
Glad you liked them. I'm here all week...