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Drew

What you need to make your own ‘Lemsip’: paracetamol; a packet of refreshers;hot water.

About Me


ALL ABOUT ME..I GUESS

I am not very good at this “about me” thing, so I am going to tell you about my investigations instead.I'll tell you about my investigations on "LIFE".So hold onto your hats.
No I mean it; it is going to be one dodgy ride.

A LEMSIP SYMPHONY

Most of my days tend to start here in my bedroom.My bedroom, everything you see in a bedroom is here. As you can imagine I have a bed in it, I keep it over by the window, because that is exactly where I go to sleep. Wouldn't be any good if I kept it at the other side of the room cause I'd just crack me head open every time I wanted to have a bit of a kip. Besides which, I would never get it inside the wardrobe. I suppose I could put it inside that wardrobe, but then where would I keep my clothes?
The other morning my mate knocked on my door, it was early & I did not really want to open the door dressed in my pyjamas so I delayed opening the door hoping he would go away. Do you know those things some people have in their doors, it is a little round hole and you look through it and you can see who is on the other side of the door, if you look through the lens they look all big and round. Well I do not have one of those so I would have to open the door if he knocked again. He knocked again then I could hear him walk off. I had to open the door now, so I did & said very quickly "Hang on,I did not want to open the door, because I was in me pyjamas" But he was already down the road so I ran outside and said "I was in in me pyjamas?" In addition, one of me neighbours said "I don’t know what’s in your pyjamas?"

Nobody told me there would be days like these.

Another experience I had was when I bumped into an old friend of mine,He said "Scuse me mate, have you got the time?" which is like prostitutes' code. And I said "about sixteen quid" That's the last time I'm watching Top of the Pops with the curtains open.

Anyway,back to "about me".

I went back inside my house because that is where I live.I went into the kitchen because my fridge is there and I wanted some breakfast.I opened up the fridge door, and I heard this terrible ringing sound. I thought "oh no, I've smashed me face open on the fridge door again." And I was right, I did.
I went round to Theresa's house, right. I decided not to knock on the door, y'know? 'Cause they got this bell, right? I thought, I'll use this.
I didn't bother to put on my raincoat, cause, like, well, I wasn't really thinking about it, and anyway, it wasn't raining, so that's not really important at all.
I've also been busy investigating advice, right, which is another word for help. Well, it's not really. Not if you're drowning, anyway. I mean, you don't swim there going, "Advice! Advice!" I mean, they'd just shout, "Swim, ya brannie!" And then you drown, don't you? It's no good. Well, unless you want to drown, anyway, but that's not important.
Another thing I found out,Do you know how much bandages cost? Yeah, nor do I. All the chemist's were closed. It took me three hours to find that out.
Don't ask me why. I'm just a strange and interesting person, I suppose. A bit like Bob Geldoff, only without the hair,y'know.
You could tell all sorts of lies on the Internet.I mean, like, I had my legs amputated yesterday, and that's a lie. Quite a good lie, actually. Probably make quite a lot of money with that lie.
Some things on the internet really make me sick.I'll tell you what makes me really sick, though. Drinking a pint of salt water and jamming my fingers down my throat. That makes me really sick, that does, so, like, whenever possible, I try to avoid doing that, y'know.
Thanks for reading this. I'm off to do more investigating.But before you go and look at someone else's profile, please read my cr*p poem below

MY LEMSIP POEM

‘I Wonder if the Queen Does Lemsip?’
She’s good mind The Queen
I like her A lot
Beechers’ Brook?I’ll say.
Would you?I would
(But then I’m fucked up on Lemsip.)
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My Interests


Astrology & spiritual healing

Paranormal

Reading & writing (poorly)

Cooking

Gardening

Walking my dog

Sports

I'd like to meet:


DAVID ICKE

JUDY HALL

MATTHEW MANNING

VUSAMAZULU CREDO MUTWA

JOHN LENNON

JESUS

BUDDHA

TRACY BARLOW

RIK MAYALL

LES DAWSON

TOMMY COOPER

FRANKIE HOWARD

HUGH FEARNLEY WHITTINGSTALL

MATT JAMES

ALAN TITCHMARSH

ANY OF MY MYSPACE FRIENDS

Music:


BEATLES

ELO

KEANE

COLDPLAY

PAUL WELLER

THE JAM

STYLE COUNCIL

ECHO & THE BUNNYMEN

HEAVEN 17

HUMAN LEAGUE

JOHN LENNON

PETER GABRIEL

THE LIST GOES ON & ON & On on..

Movies:


JACOB'S LADDER

LOCK STOCK AND TWO SMOKING BARRELLS

SNATCH

FLATLINERS

SIXTH SENSE

Any film starring Peter O'Toole

ALIEN Vs PREDATOR

Television:


Most Haunted (UK)

Derek Acorah's Ghost Towns (UK)

Haunting Evidence (US)

Ghost Hunters (NZ)

Mythbusters (US)

River Cottage (UK)

A cook on the wildside(UK)

The Diceman (UK)

Any Sport (even Golf)

The Garage(UK)

Anything interesting on the Discovery Channels

Emmerdale(UK)

Coronation Street (UK)

WWE(US)

Any old comedy shows featuring the likes of

TOMMY COOPER

LES DAWSON

FRANKIE HOWARD

THE SIMPSONS

MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE

THE FAMILY GUY

IN A NUTSHELL, IF IT IS FUNNY I'LL WATCH IT

Books:


Robots Rebellion - David Icke

Testimony of Light - Helen Greaves

Karmic Astrology - Judy Hall

Any of Betty Shine's material

Any of Matthew Manning's material

Any of David Icke's material

Heroes:


I HAVE CONNECTIONS WITH THE PLACES BELOW
Stalybridge
Stalybridge lies in the foothills of the Pennines, straddling the River Tame, which, from its source to its confluence with the Mersey, forms part of the ancient boundary between Lancashire and Cheshire. The highest point in the town is the summit of Wild Bank at 1309 ft (399 m). Harridge Pike is the second highest peak at 1296 ft (395 m). At the 2001 census Stalybridge had a population of 22,568. The town borders Ashton-under-Lyne, Dukinfield, Hyde, Mottram in Longdendale, Tintwistle and Mossley.
Famous For?
Stalybridge has the pub with the longest name in the United Kingdom, The Old Thirteenth Cheshire Astley Volunteer Rifleman Corps Inn. Stalybridge has the pub with the shortest name in the United Kingdom, Q. The Buffet Bar was until recently the only licensed bar on a railway station platform. On 19 October 1970 a frightened red deer registered a speed of 42mph on a police radar trap as it charged down Mottram Road. The Huddersfield Narrow Canal runs under the legs of an electricity pylon. During the writing of The Condition of The Working Class in England, Friedrich Engels formed the opinion that "multitudes of courts, back lanes, and remote nooks arise out of [the] confused way of building... . Add to this the shocking filth, and the repulsive effect of Stalybridge, in spite of its pretty surroundings, may be readily imagined." Ada Summers was elected Mayor of Stalybridge in November 1919. In December 1919, the Sex Disqualification (Removal) Act 1919 came into force, which enabled women for the first time to become magistrates. She was sworn in, becoming the first woman to adjudicate on an English Bench.John Aston European Cup Winner with Manchester United 1968 Josh Morgan of band The Subways Peter Kenyon ex Manchester United now: CEO Chelsea FC Alex Higgins, snooker player, lived on Old Road, Mottram John Lees, winner of the 1957 Mr Universe competition Joel Pott, lead singer with the indie band Athlete, who had a UK number one album with Tourist grew up in Stalybridge in a house on Stocks Lane Francine Elizabeth Morgan record holder for the youngest girl to swim 25m?
Bury
Bury is a town in the north of Greater Manchester in the North West of England. Situated between Rochdale and Bolton, and just west of the M66, it is the largest settlement of the Metropolitan Borough of Bury and has a population of 60,718.[citation needed] Bury emerged during the Industrial Revolution as a mill town centred on textile
Famous For?
Bury is known for its black puddings so much so, that it is not uncommon to see it as "Bury Black Pudding" on a menu. Bury simnel cake is also a traditional variant of the cake originating in Bury.Kay, John, the inventor of the Flying Shuttle, one of the key inventions of the Industrial Revolution. Peel, Sir Robert (1788-1850), the 19th century British Prime Minister best known today for the repeal of the Corn Laws and his introduction of the modern police force (hence the terms "Bobbies" and "Peelers"), was born in Bury. A monument, Peel Tower, now exists to his memory. As this is situated nearly 1,000 feet above sea level, it is easily recognizable for miles around. The tower itself was not built for Sir Robert, but to provide work for local workers and was later dedicated to him. A statue of Sir Robert Peel stands in Market Place, outside the Robert Peel public house. Atkinson, Gemma, actress and glamour model was born in Bury. Sanderson, Nikki, actress, singer and glamour model was born in Bury. Blair, Cherie, wife of the current Prime Minister, Tony Blair, was born in Bury. Boyle, Danny, film producer and director was born in Radcliffe, near Bury. Crompton, Richmal, author was born in Ramsbottom, near Bury. Elbow, contemporary/alternative rock band was formed in Bury. Jack, Donald, Canadian-based author born in Radcliffe, near Bury. Little, Ralf, actor was born in Bury. Marsh, Connor, child actor was born in and lives in Bury. Noble, guitarist from British Sea Power is from Bury. Riley, Lisa, actress and TV presenter was born in Burnley but raised in Bury, attending St Gabriel's R.C. High School. Stoneman, Ace, controversial journalist, born and raised in Bury. Shaw, Suzanne pop singer, formerly of Hear'Say, was born in Bury and attended St Gabriel's R.C. High School. Skellern, Peter, musician, was born in Bury. Williams, Layton, actor and dancer. Wood, Victoria, comedienne and actress, was born in Prestwich and attended Bury Grammar School for Girls
Paignton
Paignton is a coastal town in Devon in the United Kingdom. It is located to the south of Torquay, and together with Brixham it forms the unitary authority of Torbay which was created in 1998. The Torbay area is known as the English Riviera. Paignton's population in the United Kingdom Census of 2001 was 47,398
Famous For?
Paignton was used as a location in several episodes of the television comedy series Monty Python's Flying Circus.During the location filming of these scenes in May 1970, the Python team stayed at the Gleneagles Hotel in Torquay, which subsequently provided John Cleese with the inspiration for Fawlty Towers. Sue Barker, the television presenter and former professional tennis player, was born in Paignton on 19 April 1956. During her tennis career she won the women's singles title at the French Open in 1976 and reached a career-high singles ranking of world number 3.Famous former residents of Torbay include authors Agatha Christie (who set many of her novels in a thinly disguised version of the borough), Charles Kingsley and Rudyard Kipling, the great industrialist and architect of the nearby Atmospheric railway, Isambard Kingdom Brunel and (allegedly) Barry Manilow. Prog-rock band Wishbone Ash, and supermodel Lily Cole also hail from the borough
HEROES

Matthew Manning

(born 1955) is a best selling author and healer, and is well known for his purported psychic abilities. As a child he and his family were allegedly subjected to a range of poltergeist disturbances in their Cambridge home and later at Oakham School. The events of his childhood and later investigations by Dr. George Owen of the Cambridge Psychical Research Society were published in a book entitled The Link, which eventually sold more than a million copies. Matthew Manning now resides in Bury St. Edmunds in Suffolk and focuses his attention on psychic healing. Manning has claimed that the spirit of Pablo Picasso talks to him, and has taught him to paint in a similar manner.

Vusamazulu Credo Mutwa

His father was a widower with three surviving children when he met his mother. His father was a builder and a Christian and his mother was a young Zulu girl. Caught between Catholic missionaries on one hand, and a stubborn old Zulu warrior, Credo's maternal grandfather, his parents had no choice but to separate. Credo Mutwa was born out of wedlock which caused a great scandal in the village and his mother was thrown out by her father. Later she was taken in by one of her aunts. He was subsequently raised by his father's brother and was taken to the South Coast of Natal, near the northern bank of the Umkumazi River. He did not attend school until he was 14 years old. In 1935 his father found a building job in the old Transvaal province and the whole family relocated to where he was building. In 1937 he experienced a great shock and trauma when he was seized and sodomized by a gang of mineworkers outside a mine compound. After this he was ill for a long time. Where Christian doctors had failed, his grandfather, a man whom his father despised as a heathen and demon worshipper, helped him back to health. At this point Credo began to question many of the things about his people the missionaries would have them believe. "Were we Africans really a race of primitives who possessed no knowledge at all before the white man came to Africa?" he asked himself. His grandfather instilled in him the belief that his illness was a sacred sign that he was to become a shaman, a healer. He underwent initiation from one of his grandfather's daughters, young sangoma named Myrna.

David Vaughan Icke

A British writer. A former professional football player, reporter, television sports presenter, and spokesman for the Green Party, he has devoted himself since 1990 to researching "who and what is really controlling the world." He is the author of 20 books explaining his views. Icke argues that he has developed a moral and political worldview that combines New Age spiritualism with a passionate denunciation of what he sees as totalitarian trends in the modern world. His views have been described as "New Age conspiracism."

Betty Shine

(born 1929 - died March 2002) was a spiritual healer, medium and author of many best selling books including the "Mind" series: "Mind to Mind", "Mind Magic" and "Mind Waves". She died in March 2002 of heart failure.

Bryan Robson

OBE (born January 11, 1957) is a former England, West Bromwich Albion, and Manchester United footballer who also captained his country.
Lemsip
Of all the cold-and-flu-relief citrus-flavoured powdered drinks, only Lemsip would need spokesperson Reckitt Benckiser (who exists) to declare; ‘It is fair to say that it doesn’t cause poetry in most people.’?
Lemsip is scientific, not versificatory. Science with a capital ‘Science’. Even the blackcurrant ones. The heavyweight nature of the best-selling concoction is reflected in its various sub-brand names: Lemsip Fist, Agent Lemon and the all-new Lemsip Bird Flu Fuck You. I am scared of it, and I am not even the sniffles. Oh, hang on; it is just some crushed-up paracetamol that tastes a bit lemony. It perks you up slightly, but then so do most things that contain caffeine.
What you need to make your own ‘Lemsip’:
• Paracetamol
• Hot water
• Packet of Refreshers
Nevertheless, Lemsip can be extremely dangerous, intoxicating and even addictive, as Poet Laureate Andrew Motion has found. The poet told the Daily Telegraph he ‘uses’ the potent drug every day to help him write. It gives him the sensation of having ‘a mild illness’, which is good for the fine poetics, apparently. ‘I’ve been doing it for years and it’s become habitual,’ he said. Every day, he chases the lemon. ‘It’s my Lemsip-inspired trance, and I can only say thank heavens it’s not laudanum or absinthe,’ said Motion. Indeed. If only Pete Doherty had kept to Lemsip. He might then have been able to speak in sentences and write lines that scan, such as the finely honed stanzas of Motion masterworks ‘She Will Rock You’ and ‘The Prince Has Got a New Hat’
Here is Motion’s poem ‘I Wonder if the Queen Does Lemsip?’
• I wonder if the Queen does Lemsip
• She is good, mind The Queen
• I like her a lot
• Beechers’ Brook?
• I’ll say. Would you?
• I would
• (But then I’m fucked up on Lemsip.)
'Drug fears could force Lemsip off shelves'
Lemsip and other popular flu remedies could become prescription-only amid fears that they are being used to make the class A drug crystal meth. Caroline Flint, the health minister, said that police were becoming increasingly concerned that pseudoephedrine and ephedrine - used as decongestants in products - could be easily extracted to make the drug, officially called methylamphetamine. Also known by the street names "ice" and "Nazi crack", the drug is a highly addictive substance that affects the central nervous system and can cause serious physical and psychological harm.
Lemsip is scientific, not versificatory. Science with a capital ‘Science’. Even the blackcurrant ones. The heavyweight nature of the best-selling concoction is reflected in its various sub-brand names: Lemsip Fist, Agent Lemon and the all-new Lemsip Bird Flu Fuck You. I am scared of it, and I am not even the sniffles. Oh, hang on; it is just some crushed-up paracetamol that tastes a bit lemony. It perks you up slightly, but then so do most things that contain caffeine.
When smoked in its crystalline form, the stimulant produces effects similar to, but longer-lasting than, crack cocaine. Widely used in Europe and America, it has yet to take a grip in Britain but was nevertheless reclassified in January from a Class B to a Class A substance.
Miss Flint said: "If methylamphetamine did secure a hold in the UK, the consequences would undoubtedly be very serious. "The international experience shows that misuse can spread rapidly when certain conditions prevail and the advice of UK enforcement authorities is that most of these conditions now prevail in the UK."
The Medicines and Healthcare Products Regulatory Agency launched a consultation last month on whether the availability of certain over-the-counter medicines should be restricted. The Proprietary Association of Great Britain, the trade association for all over-the-counter medicine, published a list of more than 80 products that contain pseudoephredrine.
Martin Barnes, the chief executive of drug charity DrugScope, said restricting the availability of medicine which can be used to make crystal meth was "a sensible precautionary measure and should be supported". "Pharmacists should be made fully aware of the potential for misuse of these medicines so they can alert the police about suspicious or bulk purchases," he said. "Also, manufacturers might need to consider whether these ingredients are essential to their products, or whether alternatives could be found. " He added: "Currently, availability of crystal meth in the UK is still very limited and it is important not to be alarmist, while at the same time ensuring that accurate and up to date information is available to the public about the risks and harms associated with the drug." A spokesman for Reckitt Benckiser Healthcare, makers of Lemsip, said: "In the UK there is no evidence that the use of decongestant as a starter for methamphetamine is prevalent – and to our knowledge, no evidence whatsoever to suggest in anyway that the brand Lemsip has been used for such a practice. "There are 2 types of Lemsip product, those containing pseudoephedrine and the majority of products which contain phenylephrine. All pseudoephedrine-containing medicines are already restricted to pharmacy sale and can only be sold under the supervision of a pharmacist or a trained assistant. They are not simply found on supermarket or chemist shelves."
• I thought I was imagining it all
• I better get my coat.
•I am the new face of this new extremely dangerous, intoxicating and even addictive, drug
•Sh*t!
•Listen Kids, It is not big and it is not clever!
•KEEP TO CALPOL!
•YOU SELFISH GREEDY GITS!
© Pedro the Lemsip Kid is available for weddings, funerals & christenings. I am also taking bookings for Buffets & Barmitzphers.

My Blog

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A scientist from Derbyshire claims to have found firm proof that life after death really does exist.Gavin Bevis takes a look at how Ron Pearson thinks he has the solution to one of the world's greate...
Posted by Drew on Mon, 05 Mar 2007 07:08:00 PST

Was he right? David Icke

David Icke - Was He Right? Channel 5 documentary from 12/26/06 which chronicles David Icke's career to present day, and asks the big question - Was he right? Anyone who is paying ...
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