Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.Useless knowledge has long been a constant in my life. Anybody who knows me can tell you that I am a fountain of it. If I can make a career out of fluff, I'll be queen of the world. I'm a sucker for standup comedy and movies...all types of movies...(well, I might be a tad gun shy with art films after seeing Un Chien Andalou, but the rest is fair game). I'm obsessed with combining the things I loved to do as a child with the vices of adulthood (For example: Playing Operation while drinking hooch). I own far too many of the following: Metal lunchboxes, action figures, movie-themed snow globes. Do I want more? Hell Yes! I'm quite interested in making it through life without getting stabbed (Nick Swardson inspired me). I like taking pictures of things. My dream is to have my own darkroom one of these days. I want to make it to the World Series of Pop Culture and use the prize money to pay off my student loans. I am an avid supporter of the West Memphis Three and look forward to each day that brings them closer to justice. I'm one of those nerds that find absolute joy in a good book and a good cup of tea or coffee. I enjoy kitchen gadgets and long for a panini press and a bright red KitchenAid mixer. I revel in cookouts and drunken singalongs. My daughter wants to be a secret agent when she grows up, so my current interest is getting her a good education.
BLACKHAWKS, BITCHES!!!!
I'd like to meet:
Curtis Armstrong, Rick Moranis, The other guy from WHAM (yeah I know his name is andrew ridgley, but the other guy from WHAM sounds better), Ed McMahon (so he can say HEY-O!! for me), James and Oliver Phelps, the person who outbid me for those Better of Dead pins on eBay, Shelby Lee Adams, The Beastie Boys, Pablo Francisco, Hugh Hefner, Sheri Moon Zombie, Harrison Ford, Eddie Izzard, The idiot mind behind automated voice-response systems, someone who will play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit with me, George Romero, Kevin Bacon, Matthew Barney so I can try to make some sense out of the Cremaster films, Billy West, George Lucas, a creeping kid to star in my movie The Creeping Kid, Jason Lewis for childbearing purposes, and many more...
Music:
I went through a marilyn manson stage, and managed to snag a piece of his stockings before I got out of it....
I've loved the Beasties since the tender age of...wow, it's been a long time. 8? 7? Clutch, Mindless Self Indulgence, Michael Jackson (keep it to yourself, jerkasses!), White Zombie, Duran Duran, David Bowie, Soundtracks, Digable Planets, Motley Crue, KISS, some other stuff, that thing you said one time, are you still reading this?.. width="425" height="350" ..
Movies:
The list would be way too long, but here are a few of my favorites: Star Wars, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Goonies, Better Off Dead, One Crazy Summer, Breakfast Club, Raising Arizona, Revenge of the Nerds, Overboard, Stand By Me, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Wildcats, The Heavenly Kid, ROCKY (Love em all, but i gotta claim 3 as my favorite...Clubber and Thunderlips...they could've had a spinoff vehicle), The Lost Boys, A Fish Called Wanda, The Toy, Moving, Easy Money,
Nightmare on Elm Street (1 and 3 are the best), Witchboard, Exorcist, Hard Rock Zombies, Trick or Treat, Orig. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, House of 1000 Corpses, Devil's Rejects, I Spit onYour Grave, Truth or Dare (not the Madonna doc.), Return of the Living Dead (Because I love it when brains smell spicy), and for the record, the very ending of Saw creeped me the hell out.
Big Lebowski, Oh Brother Where art Thou, Kill Bill 1 and 2, Sin City, The Emperor's New Groove, SHAUN OF THE DEAD!!!!, The Warriors, Goodfellas, Band of the Hand, Parenthood, Happy Gilmore, Four Rooms, The Touch of Satan, Slingblade, Poltergeist, Commando...yadda yadda yadda
Television:
Seinfeld, Kids in the Hall, WebJunk 20 (thank you jesus, thank you jesus...get it?), Tales from the Crypt, Chappelle's Show, Futurama, Random stuff on the History Channel, More random stuff on the Discovery channel, Simpsons, CNN Headline News (at least once a day, but not for so long that I lose my will to live), Most of VH1s "I Love"s, but I strongly disagree with the HULA HOOP making number 1 on I Love Toys, Surreal Life 6 is amusing at times (but 4 was the best), the audition phase of American Idol, Roseanne, Sanford and Son, Sex and the City, MST3K, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Books:
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume, Harry Potter (all, although Order of the Phoenix gave me panic attacks), The Outsiders, The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, Just about anything by Dean Koontz, Rose Madder by Stephen King, The Great Gatsby, Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series (Because who can't dig woman-on-vampire-on-vampire, woman-on-werewolf, woman-on-vampire-on-werewolf, woman-on-wereleopard action?), Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (thank you, Maggie!!), And to Think That I Saw it on Mulberry Street by Dr. Seuss, One Hundred Years of Solitude
Heroes:
Find out your Harry Potter personality at LiquidGeneration!Any time a person does anything that amuses, awes, or inspires me, they become my personal hero for that day. You up for the challenge? Are you a clown? Are you amusing???
