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witty nickname

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

About Me

I'm the co-owner of and writer for the film company called Flickgrifters Union, which is wading through the considerable red tape necessary to take over your world. I'm a dashing, ruggedly handsome charmer with a shock of dark hair and a madman's gleam in my eye. Just kidding; my hair is actually blonde! Oh, and there's a fair-to-good chance that I've done your mom. Nothing personal, it's just my M.O. "Leave No Mom Behind," I always say.

My Interests

Pondering the great existential questions, like: "In an Amish disco, do you think they're allowed to do the electric slide?"

I'd like to meet:

...someone, ANYONE, who can help make all deez hoes back up offa me! Am I right, money? I mean, jeez, I have just ALMOST a hundred problems (99 to be exact), and wouldn't you know it? A bitch IS one!!!

Music:

Any of the radical and progressive work that was done with electric triangle in those experimental "neo jug bands" in the early nineties Scandinavian pop scene. Great, now I've offended the Scandinavians who might come here... good thing they can't read!

Movies:

Memento, The Usual Suspects, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, and of course, what list can call itself complete without the inclusion of You Got Served? Actually, THIS list can. Pretend I never mentioned that particular hickey on the ass of American cinema... Speaking of hickeys on asses, here's a random list of 'funny' fake porn titles; see if you can control your gag reflex!!! ----- Wyatt Slurp, When Sally Got Hairy, Latexpectations, Schindler's Fist, The Hand That Cradles the Rocks, Shaving Amy, Tight Club, The Hymen Show, Plump Friction, Lady and Some Tramps, The Gatrix, and of course, what list can call itself complete without the inclusion of You Got Tossed?

Television:

...I don't watch too much, honestly. Um... gimme a minute, I'm sure I'll come up with something... Oooh, is Parker Lewis Can't Lose still on?

Books:

There was that one, oh, what was it called, it was about this fellow named Horton, and the story had something to do with him hearing something... it was like a 'hoo' or something to that effect... jeez, what was the NAME of that thing?!?... Ah well, I'll remember it later and post it (insert fake anticipation here). Oh, and I tried to read the Bible once, but I didn't get very far... (Audience: "How far did you get?") I got to the part that said, "Placed by the Gideons." (Hold for applause, tomatoes)

Heroes:

...should re-think that whole 'spandex tights' thing. I mean, seriously.

My Blog

The Termite, Part Two.

[Don't read this one first, bucko. Get your big-boy pants on and check out part one first.  Do it.  Do it now.]~o~ This night was really something.For one, we all looked awesome.  Look ...
Posted by witty nickname on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 09:21:00 PST

The Termite

The Termite(note: after spending a frankly disgusting amount of time formatting, and reformatting, and REformatting this blog to fit Myspace's whims, I give up.  If it's got random arrows inserte...
Posted by witty nickname on Tue, 02 Oct 2007 07:16:00 PST

Stress, small spaces, shoes, speeches, sepia, and self-pleasure each co-exist herein.

So, we fly out tomorrow.   And I'm finally, today, petrified with nerves about it. Not the awards show itself, really, but more the logistics of the trip itself.  I've still got to finish pa...
Posted by witty nickname on Fri, 21 Sep 2007 08:04:00 PST

Of Moths and Men.

So there's this friend of mine, named Richard.  I worked with him at my last job, years ago.  In fact, he's the man responsible for my current job, since he had just started at this company ...
Posted by witty nickname on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 09:15:00 PST

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Also, fuck.

Wanna know why I never buy lottery tickets?No, it isn't because I can be trusted to pick the wrong side of a coin flip every single time, guaranteed.No, it isn't because approximately 18% of my walks ...
Posted by witty nickname on Thu, 20 Sep 2007 05:19:00 PST

Overpriced by roughly $2.25

Walking to work this morning I passed the discount movie theatre, as is the case every morning that my homemade balsa-and-saliva wings are on the fritz. "The Two-Dollar Theatre", as it is commonly kn...
Posted by witty nickname on Tue, 18 Sep 2007 06:43:00 PST

By definition, baio-limia means youve had to eat him first.

Myspace is trying to tell me something, I think. You know those 'personalized' ads that stripe across the top of each of our individual 'blog control' screens, parsed for keywords by adbots in the hop...
Posted by witty nickname on Mon, 17 Sep 2007 08:10:00 PST

Whatever’s the Opposite of Schadenfreude.

Good Things That Have Happened To Me This Week:1) I received my final paycheck as an hourly employee for my current employer.  I am now a salaried employee, with benefits, paid vacation, paid sic...
Posted by witty nickname on Sat, 15 Sep 2007 06:00:00 PST

140 Things About A Fellow.

Some time ago I was challenged to free-associate some things about myself; I was pleased with the results, enough so that I wanted to show all of you.  However, my nature being what it is, I edit...
Posted by witty nickname on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 05:14:00 PST

Got me again, Universe, you old rascal, you.

Eight minutes.All I asked for was eight fucking minutes.I walked to work in the rain today, and spent the first fourth of my workday gradually drying.  I fervently hoped to avoid suffering the sa...
Posted by witty nickname on Thu, 16 Aug 2007 03:45:00 PST