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Catatonic

asphyxiatedcontempt

About Me


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I always tend to shy out of writing these things as I figure none of you really give a fuck what I have to say for myself; then it occurred to me that, perhaps, I should write a little something because you can't very well judge how well we're going to get along based on nothing at all. The late Andy Warhol once said that "in the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes" – I guess that, in a way, you reading this is my fifteen minutes. So, with these fifteen minutes, I will make you give a fuck. As long as you are reading my words, you are in my control. Now, I could write the same old clichéd bollocks that is propagated throughout MySpace about how my friends and family are the most important things to me and that music is my 'life', but I'm not going to. Many things are important to me and although my friends sure as hell are good to have around, they are not the most important aspect of my life as a whole. Music is a beautiful thing and, just like my friends, is good to have around but (now listen up kids) I CAN live without it. I guess all you really need to know is that I am a genuine person. I understand that perceptions can often be misleading and, for that, I apologise but I never set out to do anyone any harm; there really is no point. 'Love thy neighbour' – I am no holy man, but it's a good message. I'm just trying to enjoy this life and take it as it comes. To conclude my final few of the overly–generous fifteen, I would like to give you the gift of insight: Stop worrying! Everyone's major downfall is the fact that they care too goddamn much about what others think of them. And it's true. Think about it. Or even just worrying at all for that matter, and about petty things like how much you weigh, how much money you make or what–the–fuck–ever. At the end of it all, does 'it' really matter? You were born alone and you sure as hell are going to die alone, so learn to love yourself. Just remember (in the immortal words of Bill Hicks): It's just a ride.
Get yo' dancin' shoes on.
SHIT YEAH.

My Interests

Totally random things I likey:
Dancing Badly. Camel Cigarettes. Diet Coke. Jägermeister. Pot Noodles. Pencil Skirts. Heels. 1950s. Black & White. Checkered Two-Tone. Los Angeles - which I have yet to see. 'The Industry'. AIM chats with my Chola. Attempting to MC. 8-bit. Batman. Par Amour by Clarins. Picnics. Summer nights. Going Home. Mexican Food. Confidence. Great Literature. Feeling Inspired. Feeling Complete. Satisfaction. Getting out of the goddamn house and away from this bizarre, virtual world. Having Money. Kind Strangers. Sharing absolutely everything I adore with the one I adore. A. J. Mash. There are many trivial things that mean everything to me and nothing to almost everyone else... Trying to list them to their full extent would be an exercise in futility. However, these are just a few of many for those of you who genuinely care whether I like Pot Noodles or not.

I'd like to meet:



Myself, many years from now.

Hopefully he'll still be in my life.

Music:


Oh my, sorry to be totally predictable, but: Everything. I kid you not. I can jam out with my clam out while equally enjoying getting torn the fuck up to repetitive dance music [FYI Drum & Bass is WIN] in a crowded club, then going home and sitting in a small group of people, swaying to reggae or even swing dancing to Elvis. Ahh yes, the classics are a delight. Take me back 50 years, and we'll party hard. Or maybe 20? Then we can KICK IT. I'm a sucker for old school hip hop and gangster rap. But fear not children, I can be pretty brutal, too. Aha. Oh, and SKA!

Movies:


Seriously... I fucking love films. I wouldn't even know where to begin. Christ. I believe it is the fear of becoming like me that people get lives. I know, I'm pretty hardcore. That's how I roll.

Television:


I watch far too much television.
A few of my favourites include:

Metalocalypse, Robot Chicken, pretty much everything on [adult swim], Dead Like Me, Scrubs, Family Guy, South Park, Garth Marenghi's Dark Place, Nathan Barley, Green Wing, The IT Crowd, The Mighty Boosh, Spaced, Black Books, Black Adder, Red Dwarf, Peep Show, I'm Alan Partridge, Cowboy Bebop, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Biker Mice From Mars, Skins, Psych, X-men, Kenan and Kel, Whose Line is it Anyway?, Desperate Housewives, Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Two and A Half Men, America's Next Top Model, Everybody Hates Chris, That 70's Show... and MOAR.

Books:


Anything that can hold my interest for long enough.

Heroes:


Batman!

Catatonic Owns

Status: Not interested
Here for: Ridicule
Orientation: Pansexual
Hometown: Kwazulu Natal, South Africa
Body type: Fat Leprechaun
Height: Yes
Ethnicity: Vanilla Ice
Religion: Jedi
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius
Occupation: Badass MC