My name is Bucky O'Hare, a green hare...fucking obviously, whom happens to captain a mammalian frigate dubb3d "The Righteous Indignation." My fucking cr3w was fucking introduced in the comic, so you should fucking read it, consisted of:
Jenny - first mate, and 348,562,345 on my fuck list, and also pilot, a cat from the planet Aldebaran (not to be confused with the star in our universe of the same name because I know some faggot would mention that shit and I would fucking murder them) with mysterious magical and psionic powers common to the females of her species. Her sexual abilities include but are not limited to: telepathy, astral projection, energy blasts, and healing. She keeps these powers secret from the other members of the crew, with the exception of Willy and myself or else I wouldn't be writing this shit right now.
Blinky - an advanced AFC (dat means Android First Class, fucknut). Technically not an android, so the appellation is quite inproper. He has only one eye, which fucking blinks. He usually utters the phrase "Calamity and Woe!" to identify problem situations for myself and his crew-mates, right before I beat the ever-loving shit out of him.
Deadeye Duck - gunner, a four-armed former space pirate duck from Kanopis III. I don't really like this fuck, because I'm actually racist against Kanopians; they're a dirty people.
Willy DuWitt - engineer, a pre-teen human from San Francisco, Earth (luckily the only straight child in that whole city) who enters MY aniverse via a portal between my ship's photon accelerator and his own accelerator at home. He replaced Bruce, the former engineer, who attained oneness with the universe when the photon accelerator went haywire, or as I like to call "turned into a faggot and had sex with men."
Oh yeah, there's a fucking monkey too, but I never remember what the fuck his name is.
