natalie nicole

Maybe I am one of those people who comes from nowhere really. I have lived everywhere and experienced so much in the few years that I played my secondary position in life. I have always been exposed to positive loving environments, and until I ventured out on my own I didn't realize the hardships that some may face in life, I was blinded by my own fortune. I never lived in the world of teenage drugs and sex, I didnt know hardship or misfortune. I was blessed with everything I needed and the resources to learn work ethic and earn what I wanted. I have since come to the place where I have learned some of my lifes greatest lessons. I have always appreciated and seen the importance of a strong family, and a solid education. Thankfully I have been set in my ways with true role models. People waiver and most that we meet are vapid and false to who they really are. We have to accommodate for others, we have to embrace who each person is and where we all came from. In todays society we are placed in such judgmental positions on our views in politics and religion. When did we forget the simplicity of childhood? I am blessed to have two people in my life whom I love and care for so very much. They have taught me more about this world and about myself than they will ever know. Inside I am judgmental and opinionated. This is something that I have to make a conscious decision to overcome in certain situations that I encounter. Sometimes my heart breaks for those I love. I wish that I could say and do more, but I'm standing still unsure of my place. I despise people who are false and who find it most simple to let another down as opposed to going out of her/his way to appease the other. Excuses are just that. If there were to be a real reason there would be no need for an excuse. Sometimes it costs a little to get ahead, be it time or space, money or comfort. I'm working so hard to get ahead and I find that I have no time. There are more important people directly in my life, one in particular. If I am unable to put this person first, I don't deserve to be where I am. I wish that other people could do the same. Life is, I am more sure than ever, one long learning experience, and we are lucky enough to share those experiences with the ones we love. We have to make the decision to be happy and successful. I'm trying....I love to wear black and grey and white, and it isn't as though I fear colors I just dont like them. I enjoy books that make me think and music that makes me cry.Strangers wont see me frown and good friends have to work to see me truly smile. I put on my facade for those I don't trust. I am madly in love and thoroughly contented in my relationship. My only concerns in life involve myself and my own thoughts and beliefs. I will never be decisive on exploration into spritiual or religious values. I believe in family. I believe children come first and foremost, before careers, money and friends.I have vices, and when others suggest changing, my mind rebels and I lack desire to change. I have a quick temper that I have learned to dissuade. I have a passion for literature and politics though I could never work for my government for fear of becoming someone I am not. For this reason I also choose not to be religious.I come from a strong background where the women worked and we all know independence. I still believe in cooking dinner and keeping a clean house. I think candy is imperative and healthful foods are bogus because anything in quantity takes away the value it may have formerly possessed.I take baths and read when I am angry. If I cry, it is in the corner in the dark so I can be strong always in the light. I have kept journals for as long as I remember and write as often as possible. I consider these the archives of my life and hope that one day someone will read and appreciate who I really am. I don't write about my daily life, but my thoughts so bluntly that I know I sound harsh.When I am angry at someone, as opposed to showing it, I have learned a technique of ingorance to this persons existence until I can learn to accept and move ahead. If it is something I have done wrong, I don't hesitate to apologize providing I mean it. I don't believe in vapid apologies.I didn't believe in falling in love until just over 2 years ago when I feared the consequence of not saying it. I cherish knowing someone differently than any other person has known him. I used to resent other peoples pasts until I realized how rich mine was.I question everythingI hate the color yellowI don't sleep very well but I am alright with itI have no skills in regards to artUnless you can consider writing art... I doMusic can change lives and I do believe so.. I have had this happen in my life.I know that I am blessed and slightly spoiled.I appreciate where I am from and I know where I am going...I consider getting to know another person, more of learning another person. I know that sounds strange.I am very blunt and I like dancing words but I find them necessary only on paper.