Hello..! Thank you all for stopping by… ^_^ For those who don’t know, I’m Albert Lara…. Lol… so what does this mean exactly? Reflecting upon my previous descriptions of myself in this ‘About Me’ section, I noted that they are usually based on my position while typing them, so I will continue with that pattern in some ways, but attempt to be slightly more objective with this one…
I am a young individual with incredible aspirations. I have spent the past 4 months of my life in somewhat of an isolation from the world I was once used to and very fond of. I am reluctant to build any further major bonds with customs, or individuals, for I have embarked upon the task of truly creating myself, and defining myself. This is not to say that I am in any way confused as to who I am, or what I want, but up until now, I simply had infinite thoughts clouding my mind with no sense of organization for themselves. The complexity of this lies in the fact that there are too many directions that I want to take my life toward, however realistically speaking, there is no time to do it all. I have a great artistic sense that I love to manifest, mostly, through writing. This has led me to want to approach the world of writing as a profession. Just recently I realized that I have an amazing ability to turn other people’s written thoughts into a visual portrayal that can be understood by people, and can kindle sentimental relativity to their own lives. For this reason, I have contemplated the idea of becoming a film director, and I know I would be very successful doing so. This doesn’t stop at those however. I have a huge love for physical activity, physical health, and the importance of those in society. This combined with the fact that I aspire to be a teacher someday leads to a desire to pursue being a PE instructor. I also want to become financially independent, so at times I contemplate simply doing the whole business thing. As you can now see, there are many roads to this fork that lies ahead. I can not begin to move ahead however, because I have so many unfinished thoughts. In an effort to sort them out and solve issues, I have spent much of my time lately not writing as usual, but reading. This reading consists strictly of scientific, philosophical and psychiatric books. I use first the scientific books to see what goes on chemically in the body during the thought and action process, and the evolutionary purpose behind these thoughts and actions. I then proceed to read how these develop into human philosophy, or, into normalities that can be recorded as repetitive occurrences throughout time. I consider myself a young philosopher, and I always search as to “whyâ€. Why do humans do this, why do humans do that…etc… I have come to find that we are not all as different from each other as we may like to believe. Anyway, after this I try to transform this into psychological strategies in an attempt to be able to help both myself and others. I consider myself a true altruist. I never knew why or how it developed within me, and to be quite frank, the thought is very perplexing. I have come to find out that I have an almost infinite patience, an attribute usually attributed to the character of Jesus in many biblical stories. I am utterly forgiving of any and all people, and to this day I do not know why. This was one of the reasons why I had to isolate myself in this way, I was becoming a danger to myself, since I continued to allow people to do me wrong over and over again. I have now cleared my mind in many ways. I am able to suppress my altruism, and express some anger, which is the hardest thing for me to do. Its not that I'm soft, its that I hate the waste of time, energy, and resources in the whole arguing and fighting thing, especially since most fights end in reconciliation any way…lol… It makes no sense to me. I have gone through so much in the past 2 years of my life, and in a direct sense I can connect the past 8 years of my life to this all. For once though, I feel like I am progressing. I needed this return to my niche, this is where I feel right, and where I can make sense of it all. Moving forward, I have stopped living my life in search for personal success. To this day I liked to flaunt the byproducts of my efforts by rewarding myself with lavish luxuries, luxuries that I became really used to, but were difficult to maintain when on my own. I had many moments in which I thought I was not going to make it, and through the many days of living out of my car I was left in deep thought of surrender. It was during these moments that my brother, whom I love with all my deepest of emotions, spoke to me. He didn’t know exactly what I was going through, and truthfully no one does. Yet he offered such wisdom, and offered the exact words I needed to hear, as he always has done despite the many times I have disappointed him. His words combined with a scene I witnessed in a mall in the Hampton’s in which 4 14 year old kids were discussing their success and acceptances to Ivy League schools (at 14), I noticed I was going about everything all wrong. I was not put in an economic position to live worry free. This is in no way my parent’s fault because they indeed did all they could to help me prevail. The problem was that they themselves didn’t have that opportunity, and neither their parents, or their parent’s parents, and so on and so forth. Those kids were products of their picturesque environment, as I am of mine. Now there was I choice I had to make, what environment do I wish my kids to be influenced by? The answer is both. The only way to do this however, is by putting myself in position to migrate from environment to environment. So I have been living my life, not for me, but for my kids, nieces and nephews. This is through plenty of self sacrifice, which I do not see as sacrifice, but rather as an investment. I hope I haven’t lost you all, and I hope this all makes sense. As a last resort, if by the end of 08 I am not where I hope to be with my life, I will be moving to Italy. This is really no joke. I have begun teaching myself Italian, and hope to be quite fluent by summer time. I can be prosperous there. I guess I'm a tad complex… it may intimidate some as I have noticed throughout my life, but I am still human… don’t be afraid, take a chance y haber que pasa… finally…
BROOKLYN STAND UP!!!!
My mom always told me "You gotta be better than the rest of 'em", Well fuck that, I'll raise you ma, cause I gotta stay better than the best of 'em! -20