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Salt & Lemons

Don't be afraid it won't be perfect...The only thing to be afraid of really is that it won't be!

About Me


My Life: The Complete Story (abridged):
I grew up drinking apple juice and watching The Smurfs, and my life has continued to be just as riveting. At an early age I realized my fascination with those little metal things waiters use to scrape crumbs from the table; I also developed what would become a lifelong preference for three-pronged forks. I subsequently acquired no less than twelve marriage proposals by my eighth birthday. As a promising--yet somehow still single--entrepreneurial ‘tween, I became the preeminent gerbil breeder in the Tri-County area. Some time later, I found high school to be all I had ever hoped it would be; unfortunately, I did not have the forethought to hope for everything it could have been. Taking my gerbil earnings, in addition to what I’d garnered as retail slave labor, I made my way to a pseudo-Ivy League institution, where I was introduced to such things as the chai latte and lacrosse. Being thusly bettered, I continued down the path of education a few more years, inevitably arriving in Jackson, that fount of enlightenment. And here I remain, drafting Myspace biographies and suddenly craving a chai latte swirled with a three-pronged fork.
The unabridged version is available at fine booksellers near you, or you may write the author for further details or clarifications. If you don’t know me, you should, and if you’re reading this drivel, you’ve already invested too much effort not to get a friend out of the deal. Besides, chances are that I have already seen your page, think you’re hot stuff, and am just too shy to add you as a friend.
So be bold, gentle reader, for both of us.

My Interests

Anthropological experiences, Art, Belters, Chocolate, Decaffeinated coffee, Diphthongs, Eating, Facing the music, Inane conversations, Intelligent conversations, Keeping up with the Joneses, Life, Listening to dial tones, People-watching, Public transportation, Receiving massages, Shopping, Theatre, Thunder storms, Tilting at windmills, Travel.

I'd like to meet:

Amateur botanists
Animal lovers
Artists
Avid readers
Classical literature enthusiasts
Composers
Dancers
Debutants
Dilettanti
Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome poster children
Elvis impersonators tribute artists
Foodies
Good spellers
Homonym aficionados
Honest politicians and their unassuming supporters
Inuit
Knowledgeable waiters
Ladies who lunch
Linguists
Long-lost kin
Medium-sized zebras and their owners
Models sans egos
Musicians
Novelists
NRA lobbyists
Origami hobbyists
People with good hair and those who appreciate it
Personal trainers
Photographers
Poets
Senses of humor and their owners
Shirtless drivers
Sierra Club members
Singers
Teetotalers
Thespians
Travelers
Trust fund babies
Vestal virgins
YOU

Music:

Enjoy everything from Gwen Stefani to Linda Eder, Rufus Wainwright to Jamie Cullum, Mozart to Bizet, Death Cab For Cutie to My Chemical Romance, Dolly Parton to Kelly Clarkson, Elton John to MIKA, Green Day to Eminem, and Alan Menken to Michael John LaChiusa.

Just don’t play a song and ask me who sings it.

Movies:

Recent: 27 Dresses (Heigl is amazing!); The Kite Runner (I cried.); Juno (Wonderful, in a quirky way, just like me.); Sweeney Todd ("Attend the tale" NOW!); Beowulf 3D (Somebody owes me a refund!)

Television:

My "stories": Desperate Housewives, Nip/Tuck, Prison Break, Grey's Anatomy, Law & Order, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Gilmore Girls, Project Runway, Family Guy, Heroes, Brothers & Sisters, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, and Burn Notice.

Books:

Current:
THE KNOW-IT-ALL by A.J. Jacobs

Recent:
KITE RUNNER; MADAME BOVARY

Heroes:

As a boy I lived for Dolly Parton; even then I recognized her enormous talents [sic]. To this day, I remain in awe and full of respect for a woman who has accomplished so much while enduring what must be excruciating back pain. I know no stronger person.

My Blog

Atropos

[Disclaimer: In a departure from my usual presentation of my trivialized and frivolled antics and trysts designed solely to amuse you, dear reader, this entry is to be a somber outpouring of reflectio...
Posted by Salt & Lemons on Sat, 29 Dec 2007 02:24:00 PST

Go Cougars!!!

Hopefully all you eager sports enthusiasts who rushed to read this blog won't be too disappointed. For this entry regales not the little league of your youth or that high school team you longed to be...
Posted by Salt & Lemons on Tue, 18 Dec 2007 08:51:00 PST

Black women love my...

Hair.   Who knew, right?  Every few days, someone stops me to gush about my hair.  While that aspect is not particularly new, over the past several months I have noticed a recurring the...
Posted by Salt & Lemons on Sat, 01 Dec 2007 04:14:00 PST

Purple Chinese Sex Toys & Jennifer Holliday

I've said it before: I'm a poor blogger.  There have been several things I've been meaning to write about, but I've failed to take the time.  Here you go, in no particular order. "I love Har...
Posted by Salt & Lemons on Sun, 26 Aug 2007 02:04:00 PST

Sex and the City

A New York update, finally.  So many good times and funny stories, most now probably forgotten for one reason or another.  The remaining gems, however, follow.Friday afternoon, we landed at ...
Posted by Salt & Lemons on Mon, 28 May 2007 08:59:00 PST

Stilettos for All; Chairs for None

..> Gather round and pretend you're in Hyde Park on a Sunday, for I am dusting off my soapbox.  To rant, to ramble, to refute--all with righteous indignation.   Being the self-confessed ...
Posted by Salt & Lemons on Thu, 26 Apr 2007 07:47:00 PST

Ice in the Hand

"A genuine love of learning is one of the two delinquencies which cause blindness and lead a young man to ruin."  Or so at least Tom Stoppard proffers in The Invention of Love.  Well, given ...
Posted by Salt & Lemons on Tue, 24 Apr 2007 06:39:00 PST

Confessions of a Shoe Whore

Yes, I am; I admit it.  Those who have seen my closet know my little secret, but I refuse to dwell on this now.  Of the two magazines to which I actually subscribe, Popular Science and Natio...
Posted by Salt & Lemons on Sat, 21 Oct 2006 08:23:00 PST

Death, and Other Inappropriateness

So, as you may know, my grandfather died this past week.  I found out on my way to Houston the day before yet another one of those dreadful national tests.  Needless to say, I couldn't resch...
Posted by Salt & Lemons on Thu, 02 Nov 2006 05:24:00 PST

Lettuce & Lawsuits

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Posted by Salt & Lemons on Fri, 13 Oct 2006 02:51:00 PST