Jeff Statutory profile picture

Jeff Statutory

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I'm a proud union steel worker, a father, home owner, loud obnoxious American, and fronted the band Statch & the Rapes. I can be an ass and I can be one of the nicest people you've met. I'm a realist and very down to Earth. Intelligence turns me on as well as questioning what you believe and making others question. I root for the underdog unless that underdog is proven to be a complete fuckwit. I'm about as far removed from political correctness as you can get. I laugh at the most inopportune times....not because I'm nervous, but because my sense of humor is so fucked up I laugh at things most people find horrifying, outrageous, or possibly just plain stupid. I'm also a cuddler. Was I able to sneak that one in without anybody noticing? Unless I know who you are, don't try to add me on your friend list unless you've written me first. I didn't sign up for your popularity contest.
Bad joke of the day: So a baby seal walks into a club...badda-bump.
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Shane MacGowan... unconsciously brilliant. You can intelligently debate any topic from theology, history, literature and philosphy... though only while you're out of your skull on booze.
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My Interests

My children and music. Anything to do with horror, sex, and gore. The bloodier the better. Oh yeah, and long walks on the beach.....and public masturbation. Let's not forget the all powerful allure of mint chocolate chip ice cream!

I'd like to meet:

The guys from Broken Lizard. Now THAT would be a kick in the ass!!

And, of course these two. Mel Brooks and Gene Wilder...comic geniuses.

Music:

D.I., Adolescents, Germs, D.O.A., Weirdos, Agent Orange, Zero Boys, The Freeze, Angry Samoans, FEAR, CH3, Rezillos, Social D, No Alternative, Stiff Little Fingers, Reagan Youth, Effigies, 999, Forgotten Rebels, (Texas)Huns, Macc Lads, anything Shane McGowan, etc., blahBecause I Do
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Movies:

Night of the living Dead, Return of the Living Dead, Evil Dead series, Dead Alive,.....pretty much anything with Dead in the title, State of Grace, Halloween, Young Frankenstein,Meet the Feebles, Super Troopers, Animal House, Goodfellas, Prison-A-Go-Go, The Departed (that movie was AMAZING!!)....

Television:

passes the time between thinking and sleeping

Books:

Lexicon Devil (Darby Crash Story), Rotten, The Howling, Skeletons, Anthony Shriek, most anything mystery/horror related, true crime/serial killer........and Penthouse. Does that count? Currently reading "The Icarus Agenda".

Heroes:

Eddie Money......if that fuckin' retard can make it big, hell, anybody can...

My Blog

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh, maaannnn

I was SUPPOSED to be going to Alien Sex Fiend tonight. God damn immigration ruined it. Apparently they had a problem getting their passports. Welp, guess I have to wait another fifteen years.........c...
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Thu, 26 Jun 2008 04:58:00 PST

Very fucking unamusing.

I must admit, in most respects my life as of late has been pretty good. In MOST respects. There's an aspect that is completely draining me, though. An aspect that I don't now, nor ever will understand...
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Tue, 24 Jun 2008 05:15:00 PST

Workin overtime like a mother fucker,

but I did just pick myself up one of those new fangled digital cameras. Pictures of my ass and other dangley unmentionables will soon follow. What else did you expect me to do with it?
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Tue, 03 Jun 2008 07:56:00 PST

Does this remind you of anyone?

I nicked this from someone else, but it's my ex-wife astonishingly accurate down to every last word!!A Handy Translation Guide of the Narcissist. "You're the only woman/man I'm interested in."TRANSLAT...
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Sat, 31 May 2008 05:03:00 PST

Yep..

..and "compliment" is spelled incorrectly you fucking twit :-)You Are 92% Brutally HonestThe truth hurts, especially when it comes from you.You don't mince words, and you probably take this result as ...
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Sun, 13 Apr 2008 12:40:00 PST

Fair enough...

You are The HierophantDivine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching. All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.The...
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Fri, 11 Apr 2008 06:12:00 PST

June 25th!

Fucking Alien Sex Fiend will be coming to town!!!!! Last time (that I know of) was probably about 15 years ago and I was outta town that week so I missed ’em. Not this time Fuckos! Christ, I can...
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 10:58:00 PST

YEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!

I got my tickets for X! I’m fuckin’ stoked!!
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:02:00 PST

Records!

I just received in the mail today a little piece of true American punk rock history. F-Word Live at the Mabuhay Gardens 1978. Original Posh Boy Records' first ever release! "How much?" you ask....$13!...
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Sun, 25 Nov 2007 09:42:00 PST

Ebay

I've been going Ebay crazy.....fuck, that thing is addictive! I just got a shirt for $12 and some vinyl....YAHOO!I got X - "Wild Gift" for $6Echo & the Bunnymen - "Crocodiles" and "Never Stop" $6 fo...
Posted by Jeff Statutory on Sat, 17 Nov 2007 11:46:00 PST