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!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!Research on bread indicates that:1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.
frank sinatra
the notebook
date my mom
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: bill
Birthday: june 30
Birthplace: arizona
Current Location: rhode island
Eye Color: dark brown
Hair Color: brown
Height: like 5-11
Right Handed or Left Handed: right
Your Heritage: half italian half evry thing else(not black)
The Shoes You Wore Today: newbies
Your Weakness: my penis : (
Your Fears: heights
Your Perfect Pizza: peppers and all that good stuff
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: kill some coons
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: ontimontipia
Thoughts First Waking Up: i think ill have a nice heeping bowl of fruit loops
Your Best Physical Feature: i have some cute nipples
Your Bedtime: usually 8 but 930 cuz ima rebel
Your Most Missed Memory: clipping my toenails
Pepsi or Coke: coke
MacDonalds or Burger King: the king of all burgers
Single or Group Dates: i like to switch it up
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: brisk baby, brisk....
Chocolate or Vanilla: white chocalte
Cappuccino or Coffee: they all taste the same to me
Do you Smoke: nah yo
Do you Swear: once in a while
Do you Sing: pertuatively
Do you Shower Daily: yea... sometimes even weekly
Have you Been in Love: nahhh
Do you want to go to College: yes i sure skippidy do
Do you want to get Married: sure thing
Do you belive in yourself: damn straight
Do you get Motion Sickness: only when im ridin my scooter
Do you think you are Attractive: with my elbows who doesnt
Are you a Health Freak: no
Do you get along with your Parents: yes except for the one i dont talk to
Do you like Thunderstorms: me and thunderstorms are bffl
Do you play an Instrument: is there an instrument i dont play?
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no but i did have a pretty mean glass of water
In the past month have you Smoked: i smoked a mean energy bar
In the past month have you been on Drugs: i took an advil just the other day
In the past month have you gone on a Date: i dont go on dates... dates go on me
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yea
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: nah i dont mess with that kind of stuff
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no
In the past month have you been on Stage: yea i do live pornos
In the past month have you been Dumped: no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: nah i dont go skinny dipping til mid-december...i like that shrinkage
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: yea stole a pencil....im a badass
Ever been Drunk: every now and then
Ever been called a Tease: dont think..but if you rearange the letters in tease you get my middle name
Ever Shoplifted: yea...peer pressure : (
How do you want to Die: i want it to be a surprise
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: a man
What country would you most like to Visit: luxemberg
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color: the color of painted unicorns
Favourite Hair Color: darkish lightish
Short or Long Hair: i like it when it drags on the floor so i step on it and she falls over
Height: 3'7"...i like midgets
Weight: 346... i like fattys
Best Clothing Style: ghetto-ish-gothic prep... thats how i role
Number of Drugs I have taken: 17
Number of CDs I own: negative a thousand
Number of Piercings: madd
Number of Tattoos: even more
Number of things in my Past I Regret: 1...: (
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!
I edited my profile with Thomas’ Myspace Editor V3.6 !