razor fingers. profile picture

razor fingers.

If there's one thing I know, it's everything.

About Me

What? You want me to write about myself? Tell you all the nice little things about me that will make you think I'm some fuckin' amazing person? Got a surprise for you, I'm not. I'm a horrible, worthless little piece of shit. Uncaring, unfeeling, asshole who would rather sit at home and play with his Wii than go out and have to deal with the idiots that claim to be my "peers."
And who fuckin' cares what I put here? It's not like anyone actually reads this shit anyway. All you're doing right now is trying to decide if you want to look at the photos of my sexiness and touch yourself, or bestow the honor upon one of my top friends (Your best bet is with Shannanagins as her tits are HUGE! They're like quad-q's or something ). I could put that I've murdered hundreds of people just for the pleasure of fornication with their corpses, and you would still sit there, hand down your pants, moaning "mmmmm, do me..." Or whatever the fuck you say you sick little shit.
So here it is, me at my core: I am everything and nothing. I am happy and sad. I am the last meal of the condemned man. I am the infant's first drink.I am Alpha and I am Omega. Beginning and End. I am love, lust, drug, rehab, and most importantly....
I am nothing more or less than myself.
But that, I'm sure isn't enough for those of you who actually DO read (our numbers are shrinking), so allow me to give you a more self indulgent description. You've read this far, I suppose you should be allowed access to who I am.
Most of the vitals about me are all on those nifty sidebars, so I don't have to talk about what I do, or where I live. If you can't figure that crap out on your own, then you have bigger problems than you should be allowed to live with.
I read comics in my free time. I play video games poorly, and yet, retain the ability to enjoy myself doing so. I listen to shitty music that no one has heard OF, let alone listened to. I have the habit of singing along with female vocals. I like to think of myself as an artist, even if I can't draw, paint, sculpt, or perform any of the more traditional artistic abilities.
What the fuck else do you want?
I remember a time when I was actually a pretty nice guy. I wonder what happened.

My Interests

Nice legs in short skirts, Good hair, Slurpies, Pez, Pixy Stix, Plesent fall days, Ugly sport coats, steeltoed boots, Shopping, Hair, Comics, Cartoons, Action Figures, Pretty girls in dickies pants, good hugs, Tea, Coffee, Ironing, Live music, a reason to believe, video games, pornography, Animal Crossing, screaming at random people, loud angry or sad music, snickers crunchers, The Future

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet.... people?

Maybe.....

You*?

* "You" does not include the following: close-minded persons, people who whine about how bad their life is but do nothing about it, racists, sexist bastards, people with no sense of humour, people obsessed with themselves, fat and lazy people**, anyone who can't accept that there are different people in the world, and people who will not listen to the views of others.

** This is not an either/or thing. This refers to people who complain about how heavy they are AS they shovel in the ice cream.

Music:

Only a small sampling of what I dig. If I listed everything.... there's too damn much to list. I know atleast 9 people are going to argue with how this is all orginized, but allow me to assure you, I don't give a shit. This is how it's orginized in my Mp3 Player, and so it shall stay.
All Time Favorite bands/Artists: Pitchshifter, Oingo Boingo, One Side Zero, Gwar, Voltaire, Dresden Dolls, They Might Be Giants.
Slow stuff: Jeff Buckley, Suzanne Vega, Badly Drawn Boy, Elvis Costello, Fiona Apple, Dresden Dolls
The Roots: Frank Sanatra, actually the whole damn rat pack, The Knack, The Who, Billie Holliday, Benny Goodman, The Rolling Stones, Cab Caloway, David Bowie, Alice Cooper
That damn Emo stuff: The Ataris, Antifreeze, The Get Up Kids, Alien Crime Sydicate, Sunny Day Real Estate, ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead
80's: Duran Duran, Oingo Boingo, Talking Heads, Dead Can Dance, Soft Cell, The Cure, The Dead Milkmen90's: Silverchair, Primus, They Might Be GiantsPunk/Hardcore/whatever I felt like listing here: Boy Sets Fire, Bigwig, Armor For Sleep, Sucide Machines, Good Clean Fun, Guttermouth, Bad Religion, Zebrahead
Rap and Hip-hop: Gym Class Heros, Weerd Science, MC Chris, Everlast, House Of Pain
Hard Rock/Metal: Deftones, Killswitch Engage, ...And Oceans, Black Dahlia Murder, Machinemade God, Chevelle, God Forbid, Drain S.T.H., Lacuna Coil
Expermental: Tool, A Perfect Circle, Les Claypool, Regurgitator, SupermachinerIndustrial: Atari Teenage Riot, Devo, Faust, KMFDM, Nine Inch Nails, Pychopomps, OhGr, Switchblade Symphony, Alien Sex Fiend, Fear Factory, Mindless Self Indulgence, Orgy, Pitchshifter, White Zombie, Prodigy,Ska: Catch 22, Reel Big Fish, Fishbone, Forces Of Evil, Less Than Jake, Mustard Plug, Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Save Ferris, Skankin' Pickle, Dance Hall Crashers, Goldfinger, Operation Ivy, Pain, Instant Winner, Voodoo Glow Skulls These are the albums that never leave my side: Antifreeze: The Search For Something More. The One album that has discribed more about my life than should be allowed.
One Side Zero: Is This Room Getting Smaller? The mental images, and flow always brings a tear to my eye.
Fastball: The Harsh Light Of Day. The greatest pick up, or just feel good album EVER. Music is life, and is alive. always changing and growing.

Movies:

Troma Films, Matrix Trillogy, Zombie films, Slasher films, Fight Club, Emperor's New Groove, From Dusk Til' Dawn, Choking Hazard, The Jerk, cheezy porn flicks, Mirrormask, Kids In The Hall: Brain Candy, Requiem For A Dream, Pi, Indie Films

Television:

Futurama, South Park, Ed Edd & Eddy, The Tick, Angel, Square One, Adult Swim, Twilight Zone, Dillbert, The Oblongs, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Monster...[fill in the blank], Red Green, The Young Ones, etc... I recently got cable, so suggest things to me, so I know what's worth watching, and if keeping the cable is worth it.

Books:

JD Salanger and Neil Gaiman are gods. Also, Stephen King, Henry Rollins, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Christopher Moore, too many to name... The greatest books ever, in my petty eyes: Neverwhere, American Gods, Coraline. All by Neil Gaiman. Catcher In The Rye by JD Salanger. Black Coffee Blues by Henry Rollins. Lamb by Christopher Moore. Read all those books. Comics that should be read: Catwoman, Sandman, Tank Girl, Bear, Emo Boy, Goon, Batman: Arkham Asylum (graphic Novel), Dork, Milk And Cheese, Doom Patrol, Lucifer, the list goes on and on....

Heroes:

FDR. Franklin D. Roosevelt was in my eyes the greatest american to ever live. He was proof that in america anything is possible for those that work hard. My grandfather, Phillip "PO" Leonard. (RIP), Strength comes from inside, not from how much you bench.

My Blog

Aussies read this!

Hi there! So you think you know me, because you saw me talk in a documentary that was aired...  last weekish?  You don't know me. Why I'm writting this is to request that you stop sending m...
Posted by razor fingers. on Sun, 02 Sep 2007 01:13:00 PST

I did your hair.

Hi!  I've been doing hair for a while now.  It is my passion, and I love, LOVE doing it.  I seem to do it well, at least I think so.  And so do others.  Some of my more favo...
Posted by razor fingers. on Tue, 27 Jun 2006 12:42:00 PST

Still in Sydney

I hope all of you are having a wonderful devil's night!  It's halloween here today, and also the start of the trial of my life.  If you ever come to sydney, I recomend that you turn around,...
Posted by razor fingers. on Mon, 31 Oct 2005 05:54:00 PST

The hairdresser's lifestyle

Being a hairdresser is just like any other profession.  I get up, I go to work.  I work with people, both coworkers and clients.  In many ways my career is like any one elses.  But...
Posted by razor fingers. on Mon, 01 Jan 1900 12:00:00 PST