eric SpatulaHand profile picture

eric SpatulaHand

I am here for Serious Relationships

About Me

I am A highly evolved herring wielding Sanding machine with eight seperate outputs into my mega condenser, one of which includes a sandy beach in charmin- mauve. Some of my functions include mopping up stains in toilet cubicles, throwing egg fried rice at Chavs, eating gooseberries, tellin people i have no arms or legs. One day i hope to achieve total physical, emotional, spiritual, badgical, llamical and possumal enlightenment by chainsawing my left ventrical and prit sticking it to tony blair or the then leader of the labour party. Good day i must be going, ive got many a sloth to feed. if u have any comments on my single barrelled meat cleaver speak to mrs ham face- she has ham on her face!!!!ADDITIONALLY: Some times i also eat jars full of cement to proove things are not as they seem, take the blowted humming fish of peru, a rather extreme blend of sutlty an greasy features. I also like to sand my face with my new boss power sander, messy yet satisfying.

My Interests

ur mom, Punting ducks onto ferries. Skipping in muddy water, eating badgers, skinning ferrets, licking toe nail polish, badger baiting, llama watching, eye brow decorating, large obagene growing, toilet paper sanding, egg throwing, nudist watercolour champion ships complete with Chuck norris beard cleaner. cleaning old people, bucket raketeering, listenin to very load music and making other people bleed to it while i slowly laminate my left leg.SLOTHS( abominable ones), badgers, sparrows, left ventricles, boddingtons, hefty pete, kebabs, more kebabas, sleep, sleep, lots of sleep, llamas, . Bill cosby,hobsies belly, WIGGLING MY BELLY TO GINDCORE, becoming obese, SLOTHS.

I'd like to meet:

a man with absolutly no arms legs, face, hands, feet or any circular objects which gestate around older women. I also wudnt mind meeting nick, hes been ostricised by the leemers dont u know?Amoose which got stuck in a car once, that wud be great. also my true hero, Mr Eggy jelly with lemon spaggetimoe moelem, she is large in many ways, chuck norris of course, hamface JR, some day if i make it i will make the first non bio degradeable KEBAB and i will eat it AHA!!!!!

Music:

xAnal C**ntx, Group x, Naked city, Peter Brotzman Octet, Nile, Pig Destroyer, Living Sacrifice, ETID, Prostitute disfigurement, Gorerotted, Tool,Mr Bungle,faith no more,cpt beefheart,the berzerker,the chariot Talking heads,Fantomas,Lamb of God, laurie anderson, Kayo Dot, Unexpect, Hate eternal,KK Null, the clash. Ephel Duath,Jesu , Radiohead,prodigy ,7000 dying rats ,Alexi Sayle, Wesley willis, The Village people, The sex pistols,APC, Pendulum,, Training for utopia,Hetero skeleton,The locust, Khanate,behemoth,agoraphobic nosebleed,cripple b*stards, meltbanana,boredoms,ZU, butthole surfers,Khylist,Apex twin,send more paramedics, meshuggah,zao, impending doom, indomitable iron sloth.

Movies:

the thing, aliens, braindead, story of riki, ong Bak,monty pythons holy grail, freddy got fingered,kung pow,event horizon,blue velvet, the big lebowski,return of the living dead, dawn of the dead,day of th deAD, re- animator, texas chainsaw massacre,the hills have eyes,Ichy the killa, fear and loathing in las vegas.

Television:

peepshow, spaced, blackbooks,family guy, league of gentleman

Books:

Books?

Heroes:

He-man, chucknorris, Adolf Smitler, George Hush, Tony Where, Art fart man, Mr ihavenosausageforyouboy, Ian dunken WHIFF, margret no legs,THE IRON SLOTH, Twatfacesuperexplodingoldlady, CHAV destroyer,Mrs get shot in the face and DIE, Winston Humphill.edga shuffle whiff, ......................elsie wriggle bottom, miss quick pants, NIGEL MANSEL, x BOX, master chef"!!!!!!, drive by collaborater-hes real kuel!, Amish drive by shooter bill ( he used a horse), Man with hat, WOmen with bra, girl with kitten, boy with napalm, Acid, Grenades, Iran, Azerbaijaan, the colour indigo, any man with a hat below the equator!!!! JOSH scogin- he is purty and good at handstands,my fellow skinny boy skinny gaz, the frog i kicked, my blooded knee, josh's face, jasons nipple twist indigo merry go round a thon. wooden spoons,..kill em and Eat em sue, boddingtons, music, ..ONG BAK!, TUrtle face crapper the 3rd,the man from the kebab shop, wkd rubber nipple boy, J.D., , ur mom,