The Republic of Guelkistan profile picture

The Republic of Guelkistan

Meatish Sweetballs!!!

About Me

We are housebroken. We eat food. We drink stuff. We wear clothes most of the time. We like to smile. We each have more than 4 pairs of shoes.

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Bubble wrap

My Interests

Throwing rocks at Jeremy, Boddingtons Pub Ale, Chopping Ricki Lake's head off with the unsharpened side of an axe then I will show it to her and say "Bitch don't muthafuckin' come around here NO MORE!!"

I'd like to meet:

Pee Wee Herman .. Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis on FunnyOrDie.com ..

Music:

Crooked Fingers, Neil Young, Bob Dylan, Cursive, The Clash, Eagles of Death Metal, Tom Waits, Johnny Cash, Jawbreaker, Plastic Constellations, Radiohead, Pogues, Fugazi, Pedro the Lion, Muse, Micah P. Hinson, Bloc Party, Beck, Bjork, Elvis Costello, Descendents, Rancid, Social Distortion, The Smiths, Tom Petty, Lucinda Williams, Hank Williams, Unwound, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Avail, Arches of Loaf, Sunny Day Real Estate, The Replacements, Queens of the Stone Age, Queen, Nirvana, Mogwai, Iron Maiden, Mastodon, the Thermals, the Faces, the Decemberists, Faith No More, TV on the Radio, Eric Bachmann, Led Zeppelin, Lifetime, The Ted Danson One Man Band, Spoon, Tenacious D, The Black Keys, The Arcade Fire, Blitzen Trapper, White Rabbits, Bonnie "Prince" Billy, M. Ward, The Veils, Lily Allen, Modern Lovers, Black Kids, Black Lips, Pretty Things, Jens Lekman

Movies:

City of Lost Children, Trainspotting, Boogie Nights, Old School, City of God, Garden State, Kill Bill, Office Space, Royal Tenenbaums, Big Lebowski, Ghost World, North by Northwest, Charade, Goonies, Larry the Cable Guy, Fight Club, Little Miss Sunshine, Running With Scissors, Stranger Than Fiction and Ernest Goes To Hell

Television:

Six Feet Under, Sopranos, Curb Your Enthusiam, Entourage, Carnivale, Hells Kitchen, Lost, Wheel of Fortune, Amazing Race, Seinfeld, Ten o clock news, fox nine morning news, food network, sports-especially T Wolves! Big Love,Twin Peaks, the Wire, Heroes, Kid Nation, Dexter

Books:

Anything by Dr. Phil is cool, Chuck Palahniuk, David Sedaris, Augusten Burroughs, Kurt Vonnegut, God (you know...the Bible), "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time" by Mark Haddon rules, "the Lone Surfer of Montana, Kansas" by Davy Rothbart, "Found", Hubert Selby Jr. is pretty cool. Harry Potter, "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy

Heroes:

Trader Joe and Charles Shaw Guitar Hero III

My Blog

Bored at work....so I wrote a poem

Together we are falling outdoors falling through the canopy releasing pinecones from their holds making it rain needles   The earth is rising to meet us but we are not afraid we will bounce the E...
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Thu, 17 Jan 2008 02:38:00 PST

New glasses

Check out my new "two pairs of America's Best"  glasses in the "new glasses" album.  Let me know which ones you like best.  If you guess correctly, you win a prize!!!
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Wed, 28 Nov 2007 08:19:00 PST

Sorry North Minneapolis

Last night we let North Minneapolis down. Somewhere in North Minneapolis, someone was the victim of a crime and there wasn't a cop available to help. He was knocking on our porch, telling us to s...
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Sat, 22 Sep 2007 10:15:00 PST

So Long, Farewell

Yesterday I took my last drive in the escort, a car I've had for almost 10 years. It was a good car. It never failed to get me, my family and friends, home safely. For that, I dedicate this blog....
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Sat, 23 Jun 2007 08:34:00 PST

This is Why Spoon Rules

IT's not very often, when you find a band that you've heard about for years and you've just dismissed because of your own closed mindedness and stupidity, and then they turn out to be your favorite fu...
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Sun, 17 Jun 2007 08:02:00 PST

Baby, Baby

We went for a walk tonight. Beautiful night, warm, we were training Cash how to heel, it was going great. He was doing awesome. What a good boy. 3 blocks from home, there was a train coming. We ran ac...
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Fri, 09 Mar 2007 09:08:00 PST

Say goodbye to your mama!!!

Kara and I were sitting on our porch on Sunday before our New Year's party, and these 4 little girls ranging about age 5 to 11 from next door came outside to have a snowball fight.  The...
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Tue, 02 Jan 2007 11:43:00 PST

Pro Blog

I'm anti bulletin. Especially multiple bulletins per day. You'd think after months of bowling every Friday night I'd get better at it. No, that is sadly not the case. I'm mediocre. I don't improve, I...
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Sat, 16 Dec 2006 11:37:00 PST

Unique Thrift Store

Unique Thrift Store is the greatest place on earth.  Kara and I just spent $65 there, and that's hard to do because shit is sooo cheap there.  We got 8 plates and 8 coffee cups w/saucers, al...
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Sat, 02 Dec 2006 11:34:00 PST

A Drink

First I read Smashed. Then I read Dry. Then I felt like I could relate too much to these stories about alcoholics. I woke up today, slightly hungover from book club (is it really about the book? or is...
Posted by The Republic of Guelkistan on Fri, 01 Dec 2006 01:12:00 PST