Angry Squirrel - ProfilesArchive

About Me

Once apon a land of magic and fantasy, filled with unicorns, pegasi, and other chick crap, a brave rodent stood up to the forces of evil arising from the Earth's bowels. The chimps, a species put apon this planet for the sole reason to serve us rodents, developed a sudden and rather wrong evolutionary burst and began to infect the land with such blaspemous atrocities as stereos, computers, butterscotch, and Brittany Spears. The mighty leaders of the forrest, a.k.a. the badgers, could not stop the advancement due to lack of intelligence. But the daring rodent, the one known as Tough McTuff, stood up against the terrible bipeds, but lost because they fed him cashews and those were his favorite.

Now, I can continue this sad story, but I won't. I just wanted to give you a long and drawn-out thing to read so that your time is wasted. None of this is actually true. It was porcupines that ruled the forrest, not badgers. Suckers.

Rot in hell,

Chitters

My Interests

Climbing trees, munching on acorns, genocide.

I'd like to meet:

A beaver.

Music:

Alivin and the Chipmunks rocks. All your lousy human music can suck my ass.

Movies:

Caddyshack.

Books:

Human execution and torture for dummies.

Heroes:

Tuft the human slayer and Lord Cheeks the stuffed

My Blog

Another year older, another day angry

Today I celebrate my birthday, which in squirreldom is a very special holiday that involves peanut brittle, lube, plutonium, an axe handle, and a statue of Vladmir Lennon. I look forward to it as much...
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Sat, 04 Feb 2006 05:54:00 PST

Kids

It seems that a lot of the Squirrel Nuts are children, which is a good thing, because it is wonderful to have impressionable minds to mess around with and warp. End animal abuse. It is far better to ...
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Tue, 31 Jan 2006 04:30:00 PST

medical side effects part deux

I noticed that one of the side effects for the new wave of impotency medication is a "serious" side effect that results in an erection that can last for three or more hours. It reminds me of junior hi...
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Mon, 23 Jan 2006 08:20:00 PST

People suck

In case you did not recieve the VERY important bulletin, go see "The world according to an Angry Squirrel" ver 2.0 at the following link: www.angrysquirrel.net Anywho, I recieved that bulletin about a...
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Fri, 20 Jan 2006 05:01:00 PST

Sleep is fun

I am very tired. Gathering at the crack of dawn is such a drag. Even the great Chitters McTuff must gather for a living. What a drag, but it must be done.
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Wed, 18 Jan 2006 05:51:00 PST

The creation of a masterpeice

I am almost complete with "The World According to an Angry Squirrel" version 2.0. I would have done it sooner, but I lost the ability to care and gathering nuts for the winter can be a real drag. Now ...
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Wed, 11 Jan 2006 12:48:00 PST

A drone by any other name...

I love how in humanity you have the "conformists" and "non conformists" which are just tag phrases people give themselves and others. Everybody is a conformist, because they will follow a crowd. Even ...
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Sun, 08 Jan 2006 09:28:00 PST

Strike a pose

I received a bulletin recently that reminded me of yet another thing that I hate. Those damn high school sluts who take a picture of themselves wearing next to nothing, post it on their photo gallery ...
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Thu, 05 Jan 2006 06:49:00 PST

Have a miserable new year

For squirrels, the new year begins on March 14th, to commemorate the first official day of the mating season. It is a wonderful celebration consisting of disembowling unsuspecting clowns, playing pin ...
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Fri, 30 Dec 2005 08:09:00 PST

The "Christ" in "Christmas"

Christmas is my most loathesome time of year. I prefer to celebrate Festivous myself. You swiss cheeze brains seem to absorb this holiday shit like a marmut in front of a sausage log. Do you even...
Posted by Angry Squirrel on Sat, 24 Dec 2005 10:50:00 PST