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Heath Lonsford

You can all kiss my Rebel Ass!!!

About Me


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My Interests


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I'd like to meet:

Bigger fish.

Music:

Texas Country!! and anything by Hank Williams Jr. and Willie Nelson.

Movies:

Anything ridiculously stupid or extremely violent.

Television:

I am addicted to Lost, Invasion and Boxing.

Books:

All my fishing magazines and Rainbow Six by Tom Clancy.

Heroes:

Bill Dance and Chuck Norris. Here are some interesting facts about Chuck!:Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. CancerChuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting.... CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLINGWhen the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frostRemember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.