I was born and raised in Casper, Wyoming for most of my childhood, although my family did move to Olympia, Washington for a brief period of time. The older I get, the more I love Wyoming. I hate the snow and wind as much as the next normal person, but I also hate big cities. And Jackson Hole. I'm not what you would consider a "people person." I love clear skies, clean(er) air, and the open road.
If you decide to visit Wyoming, leave your shitty, big city attitude at home. Don't drive like the asshole you are, or you're liable to meet the heel of a good pair of boots.
These are my calf skin shit kickers. Everyone in Wyoming needs a pair of these. And a .38 special. People get a little crazy around here too.
I drive an old, shitty jeep Cherokee, and I’m sure you don’t want to ride in it. I have my own pets, so I probably don’t give a shit about yours.
If you're a dumb rich person with a huge boat in front of your house, I would strongly suggest you invest in a good cover for it. If you don't, some dickhead like me is going to dump a bunch of trash into it and laugh at your expense.
I like to BBQ and throw horseshoes in my back yard. Cheap entertainment for a cheap person I guess.
I’m not a big fan of propane and propane accessories. Sorry Hank.
I like plants. I think they are way cooler than people. They aren’t stupid.
When was the last time you got into a fistfight at the bar with an arrogant plant? Never happened…
I can’t stand sea food of any kind, but I want to cut myself every time I walk by the lobster tank at the grocery store. Poor little fellas…
All for the convenience of some dumb yuppie that never learned how to cook. Just drop the son of a bitch into a pot of boiling water and watch it burn!
Seems easy enough, so why not take this one more step and try it with all the other useless shit you have lying around? Blow the dust off them palm pilots, i-Pods™, cell phones, laptops, digital cameras, dvd’s, watches/jewelry, cologne, shitty bags of cocaine, you name it. It might not work out, but so what? At least you tried, and that’s all that really matters. Life is short, so live dangerously!
I absolutely hate football, Bud Light, and everything from Coors. Pasteurized beer is strictly for pussies, and so is pigskin. Tap the Rockies my ass, sediment is a good thing!
Germany crafts the finest beer this world has to offer. Even Mexico can do better than our “king of beers†bullshit, but the good Mexican beers originated from German recipes. Just ask this guy...
NASCAR sucks too, and so do Winston cigarettes.
If there really is a Saint Peter, who guards the pearly gates to heaven, can he really find it in his heart to damn countless generations of Hindus, Moslems, Mormons, Buddhists, Rastafarians, Agnostics, Atheists and Scientologists to the infernos for being wrong? How bout all the faithful people who don't go to open church or put money in the collection plate, but pray for forgiveness? Okay, maybe the scientologists, but seriously…
If this is the case, hell must be very crowded. Probably a great place to have a rock’n’roll concert! I’m all for a little bit of faith, but I’m not about to tell anybody that they are wrong for what they do or don’t believe. To me religion is an opinion, and everyone should have the right to their own without fear of persecution. It isn't possible for every being to agree on a single opinion, so religion's a silly argument.
The moon landing was fraud.
Check out Cactus-Cat and the Antentacles. If you’re actually reading this, you have nothing better to do.
---> http://www.myspace.com/antentacles
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