I dont care how many times you watch this, is f-ing funny every time!
One night these two midget brothers walk into a bar and one says "Man I'm tired of screwing midget girls lets screw real women." So the other guy agreed.5 minutes later two blonde's walk into the bar and sit by the two midgets.So the four of them get talking and the midgets ask if they want to come to there hotel rooms and stay the night and have sex.So the two blonde's decide to go.In the first room the blonde and the midget were getting it on when the midget says "Oh baby, I'm sorry this has never happened before, but I can't get hard"So they give up and lay down to go asleep. But through the wall from the second room they hear "1, 2, 3 uh 1, 2, 3 uh", which keeps up all night long.So the next day after the blonde's leave the brothers meet each other again and discuss how there night went.The first midget says "Oh, my night was terrible. I just couldn't get hard."The second midget replies "Mine was worse than that""What do you mean" said the first guy. "I heard you going "1, 2, 3 uh all night long".To which the second guy replies "Yeah! I couldn't get on the damn bed" ------------------------------------------------------------ --------Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana,Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna.Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son ------------------------------------------------------------ -------------Dear mum,I am writing you this note to say that I haven't been honest to you lately.I have a boyfriend, his name is Dragon and he lives in a trailer in the woods he wears biker clothes and deals Ecstasy.I am moving in with him and I am four months pregnant.His friends will come over all the time so I can get a little frisky with them.We will make a living out of growing drugs and selling them to Dragons friends as are both already drug addicts, we will live a life of drugs beer and all the sex.Wish us luck KatieP.S. I am at the neighbors house, all of the above was a lie I just wanted to let you know there are worse things in life than my report card which is in the top drawer.----------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------AND THE BEST OF ALL----------The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk.The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."