My name is Freddie. Most of my friends call me Fred.
I'm 34-years old and live in central California. Though my family is originally from the south (Louisiana - Loreauville, New Iberia, & Opelousas).
I was raised in two different churches. My dad belonged to the A M. E. (african methodist episcopal) denomination, while my mother was a Pentecostal. I enjoyed both, but admittedly always felt a bit more comfortable in the Pentecostal church. I just really enjoyed the energetic services.
In my teens I fell away from my Christian upbringing. I began questioning my faith and studying other religions and philosophies (especially New Age mysticism). I never stopped calling myself a Christian, but from the age of 18 to 31 I was a Christian in name only. I drank, I gambled, I fornicated, I lied, Cheated, Stole. You name it and I probably did it. Not surprisingly that lifestyle just about destroyed me. I was failing at everything I put my hand to without Christ in my life. I finally found myself in a deep depression, and even (briefly) contemplated suicide.
In 2004 my mother was diagnosed with advanced (stage 4) cancer. I moved back home to help her care for my older sister (mentally handicapped) and my sisters similarly special son. Back in my childhood home I found myself hard pressed by memories of the Christian life I had once lived. Of reflections on how much the Lord had blessed me. The shame and guilt of my rebellion against Christ was overwhelming.t was during this dark time in my life that I rededicated myself to Christ.
My mother fought bravely throughout 2004. And for one brief moment that summer, she seemed to be responding well to aggressive chemotherapy. Her doctors were cautiously optimistic. However, by that Holiday season, the cancer was raging inside of her and had began to spread. It was then that the Lord carried me through the most difficult days of my life. I watched my mother go from a chubby, outgoing woman who was always on the go, to a walking skeleton, just skin and bones without even the strength to sit up in bed. She stopped eating entirely in the weeks leading up to her death.Satan wanted me to blame the Lord for my mother's death. But I didn't. Because I knew what had happened. The Lord had merely allowed an end to her suffering. She's in a far better place now than I am. All of my prayers had been answered. My mother wasn't sick anymore. She wasn't in pain anymore. And she'll never be sick again. I thanked God for that.To be certain I raged when she died. I was so furious that I wanted to tear the house down board by board and brick by brick. But the sole focus of that fury was Satan. He had stolen away my mother but for a brief season. In so doing this, however, the Lord was glorified. My realization of this helped me survive this tragedy and move forward in victory.n the 2 years since I've returned to Christ, I've changed a lot. I've given up so many bad habits and turned my back on so many things. I've lost friends because of it. I've faced ridicule because of it. But Jesus said that those of us who would follow after Him would be scoffed at and scorned. We are supposed to take great pleasure in the contempt of the non-believer, and thank God for the honor. I am, and I have.
I'm not perfect. I'm still studying my Bible and learning day by day. Conforming myself little by little to reflect Christ. There are still great struggles and trials, and I don't always win every battle, but I am confident that I will win the war with the Lord's blessed Holy Spirit guiding me. I see myself as a work in progress. One that will be completed only when the Lord sees fit to call me home. Until then, I'll rely upon His grace and guidance, and do my best to live my life according to His will.I edited my profile at PimpMyArea , check out these Myspace Layouts!
