Sleeping, reading, playing poker, playing video games, getting lost in a philosophical debate with myself, not answering my phone. I used to be big in bringing back the 90's... but that ended. But regardless of who you are, you are NOT bringing sexy back. First of all, where did it go? Secondly, who put YOU in charge of bringing it back? So save your time and words because sexy never left. Things that have left though:
The 1980's
Mississippi Mud Pie Ice Cream
Hammer Pants
Prohibition
The Speak Easy
The Handlebar Mustache
Polio
The Dodo Bird
Saturday Morning Cartoons
The Brontosaurus
Hartford Whalers
So please feel free to bring anyone of those back. Well, maybe not the 80's, but other than that feel free.
If you have a pulse and can form a sentence I'll probably talk to you. Hell, you don't even need a damn pulse. People that don't fucking suck are always welcome.
I'd also like to meet some of the following people, seeing how they kick some serious rump!
Socrates
Mark Twain
Voltaire
King James... yes, that King James
R.A.Salvatore
Bam Margera
Plato
Jack Johnson
Xenophanes
Adolf Hitler
Ludwig Feuerbach
Craig Furguson
George Lucas
Gary Jules
David and Leigh Eddings
Immanuel Kant
Steve Jackson
Johnny Cash
Beck
Abraham Lincoln
William Shatner
Dave Arneson
Gary Gygax
Grandpa Joe Brady
Myself walking around the corner
Hondo just 1 more time!
3 Doors Down
30 Seconds to Mars
50 cent
AFI
Angels and Airwaves
Apapthy
Arctic Monkeys
Beck
Biggie
Blue October
Busta Rhymes
Celph Titled
Dashboard Confessional
Dave Matthews Band
Death Cab For Cutie
Demi Godz
Diddy
Disturbed
Dropkick Murphys
E.C.A.
Eminem
Godsmack
Gorillaz
Green Day
Hawthorne Heights
Heiroglyphics
High and Mighty
Ill Natured
J-5
Jack Johnson
Jedi Mind Tricks
Jet
Johnny Cash
Korn
Ludacris
Masta Ace
Matisyahu
Method Man
Mos Def
Mr. Lif
Nickelback
Nine Inch Nails
Obie Trice
Panic! At the Disco
Papa Roach
Pearl Jam
Pink Floyd
Queens of the Stone Age
Raconteurs
Red Hot Chilipeppers
Say Anything
Shinedown
Staind
Stone Sour
System of a Down
Taking Back Sunday
The GONERS
The Killers
The Strokes
Three Days Grace
Tool
Wolfmother
Most ROCK bands... Punk Rock is slowly comin over on me and UNDERGROUND HIP HOP music is still #1!
Ladies and gentlemen this is dedicated to all you freaks
who like to fuck you could call it mood music for an intimate night
or simply the soundtrack to a one night stand
I just wanna bang and if you cant hang
Lose my number forget my name
Cuz I just wanna bang and if you cant hang
Lose my number forget my name...word!
Yo I love thick chicks,thick chicks I like to stick
Every girl that I fucked knows I got a big dick
And I can tickle a clit and I can cripple a bitch
Wanna undo the bra lick the nipples and tits
My style is from behind need Kibbles n' bits
Run my tongue along the mouth just to tickle the lips
Make you shutter with delight when I'm rubbing you right
Got a evil grin cuz I know we fuckin tonight
Sayin something like I know that you lovin it right
Grab your butt and bite soft where I'm bustin the white
We'll be sippin wine laughin while we passin the time
Next thing you know your on your stomach and I'm lickin your spine
Got you on the bed hotter then a super nova sun
Wet because your sprung off the Alien Tongue
Make you cum when I lick you sweet like popsicles
Cum shots'll tickle your thighs when drops trickle
Lingerie's cute...but just an obstacle
Miss let me kiss you where bikini's barely miss you
And when your body is bare layin there
I'mma stare in your eyes while I'm playin with your hair
Yeah...curly and brown hella sexy
Sit you on top ride backwards and wreck me
Get you on lock no wack herbs can test me
Tickle your spot on the man so you can sweat me
Let's get it on
We can't go wrong
If I bring you home and fuck you all night long
Now I love pussy and you love dick
So let's drop the bullshit
Strip, kiss, and stick
You and me forever
We belong together
And we'll always endeavor
Throughout any type of weather
You want everything to be just like
(you want everythin to be just like)
The stories that you read but never write
(The stories that you read but never write)
You gotta learn to live and live and learn
You gotta learn to give and wait your turn
Or you'll get burned
You wrote our names down on the sidewalk
The rain came and washed 'em off
So we should write 'em again on wet cement
So maybe people a long time from now will know what we meant
You want every morning to be just like
(You want every morning to be just like)
The stories that you read but never write
(The stories that you read but never write)
You gotta learn to live and live and learn
You gotta learn to give and wait your turn
My only concern
I'm adding something new to the mixture
So there's a different hue to your picture
A different ending to this fairytale
When the sunset into which we sail
You want everything to be just like
(You want everything to be just like)
The stories that you read but you can't write
(The stories that you read but you can't write)
You gotta learn to live and live and learn
You gotta learn to give and wait your turn
Or you'll get burned
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows
No tomorrow, No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad World, Mad World
There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying
When I was a child
I caught a fleeting glimpse
Out of the corner of my eye
I turned to look but it was gone
I cannot put my finger on it now
This child is grown
The dream is gone
And I have become
Comfortably Numb
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
Favorite Quotes (from movies):
Dan Millman: Life has just three rules?
Socrates: And you already know them...
Dan Millman: Paradox, humour, and change.
Socrates: Paradox...
Dan Millman: Life is a mystery. Don't waste time trying to figure it out.
Socrates: Humour...
Dan Millman: Keep a sense of humour, especially about yourself. It is a strength beyond all measure.
Socrates: Change...
Dan Millman: Know that nothing stays the same.
Shatner: Cowards die many times before their deaths. The Valiant never taste of death but once.
Messenger: A thousand nations of the Persian empire descend upon you. Our arrows will blot out the sun!
Stelios: Then we will fight in the shade.
(Later on, the Spartans shield themselves from a million arrows)
Stelios: What the hell are you laughing at?
Astinos: You had to say it!
Stelios: What?
Astinos: Fight in the shade!
Samuel L. Jackson only signed on for this film because of the title. It was later changed to "Pacific Air Flight 121", but Jackson demanded they reverse the change. "We're totally changing that back. That's the only reason I took the job: I read the title."
Nelville Flynn:THATS IT! I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHA FUCKIN SNAKES ON THIS MOTHA FUCKIN PLANE!!!
Yoda:And well you should not. For my ally is the Force. And a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. It's energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we...(Yoda pinches Luke's shoulder)...not this crude matter. (a sweeping gesture) You must feel the Force around you. (gesturing) Here, between you...me...the tree...the rock...everywhere! Yes, even between this land and that ship!
Yoda: That face you make... look I so old to young eyes?
Luke: No. Of course not.
Yoda: I do. Yes, I do. Sicker I become, old and weak... When nine hundred years old YOU reach, look as good YOU will not, hmm?
Yoda: Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Luke... Luke... do not... do not underestimate the powers of the Emperor or suffer your father's fate you will. Luke, when gone am I... the last of the Jedi will you be. Luke, the Force runs strong in your family. Pass on what you have learned, Luke. There is... another... Sky... walker.
The Dude: Fuck sympathy! I don't need your fuckin' sympathy, man, I need my fucking johnson!
Donny: What do you need that for, Dude?
Walter Sobchak: Saturday, Donny, is shabbas, the Jewish day of rest. That means I don't work, I don't drive a car, I don't fucking ride in a car, I don't handle money, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as shit don't fucking roll!
Walter Sobchak: I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude, he kept the money. My point is, here we are, it's shabbas, the sabbath, which I'm allowed to break only if it's a matter of life or death--
The Dude: Will you come off it, Walter? You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talkin' about?
The Dude: Man, you're fucking Polish Catholic--
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? I converted when I married Cynthia! Come on, Dude!
The Dude: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah--
Walter Sobchak: And you know this!
The Dude: Yeah, and five fucking years ago you were divorced.
Walter Sobchak: So what are you saying? When you get divorced you turn in your library card? You get a new license? You stop being Jewish?
The Dude: It's all a part of your sick Cynthia thing, man. Taking care of her fucking dog. Going to her fucking synagogue. You're living in the fucking past.
Walter Sobchak: Three thousand years of beautiful tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax-- YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I'M LIVING IN THE FUCKING PAST!
Thug: [holding up a bowling ball] What the fuck is this?
The Dude: Obviously you're not a golfer.
The Dude: Fuckin' Quintana... that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah.
Walter Sobchak: No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude: Oh!
Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederass.
Donny: What's a... pederass, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.
The Dude: Walter, what is the point? Look, we all know who is at fault here, what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: Huh? No, what the fuck are you... I'm not... We're talking about unchecked aggression here, dude.
Donny: What the fuck is he talking about?
The Dude: My rug.
Walter Sobchak: Forget it, Donny, you're out of your element!
The Dude: Walter, the chinaman who peed on my rug, I can't go give him a bill, so what the fuck are you talking about?
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about? The chinaman is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude. Across this line, you DO NOT... Also, Dude, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.
The Dude: Walter, this isn't a guy who built the fucking railroads here. This is a guy...
Walter Sobchak: What the fuck are you talking about?
The Dude: Walter, he peed on my rug!
Donny: He peed on the Dude's rug.
Walter Sobchak: Donny you're out of your element!
The Dude: It's like what Lenin said... you look for the person who will benefit, and, uh, uh...
Donny: I am the walrus.
The Dude: You know what I'm trying to say...
Walter Sobchak: That fucking bitch...
The Dude: Oh yeah!
Donny: I am the walrus.
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny! V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!
Donny: What the fuck is he talking about, Dude?
Randal Graves: People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl "Mom."
Dante Hicks: My girlfriend's sucked 37 dicks!
Customer: In a row?
Randal Graves: This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers.
Bob Slydell: Looks like you've been missing quite a bit of work lately.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I wouldn't say I've been MISSING it, Bob.
Peter Gibbons: It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Ash: Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with ... molecular structures.
[squeezing out of an airliner seat]
Tyler Durden: Now, a question of etiquette: as I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
Black Cab driver: You know where you're going?
Bond: Uptown, I believe?
Black Cab driver: Uptown? You headed into Harlem!
Bond: Well you just stay on the tail of that jukebox and there's an extra twenty dollars in it for you.
Black Cab driver: For twenty dollars I'll take you to a Ku Klux Klan cookout!
Tom Mullen: "GIVE ME BACK MY SON!!"
Verbal Kint: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist.
Monty: [using a Forrest Gump voice] Momma said they's my magic shoes. Mama said they would take me anywhere. 'Course Mama used to beat me with a rubber hose and call me a retard.
Mitch: So you're the coolest guy at ShenaniganZ, big fucking deal! That's like being the smartest person with Down Syndrome!
Monty: I mean, I'll stick my finger up my ass every now and again when I'm feeling squirrely, but that's about the extent of it.
Monty: Awwww c'mon now dogg, you know I'm just fucking with you. You know I give you the mad phat superfly stupid dope dumbass retarded bomb shit props.
Monty: You see I don't, I don't work with any exact boundaries of the law because I wasn't consulted when the god damn laws were made. No, instead nameless, faceless politicians, the so called protectors of the moral majority decide what is right and what is wrong. I mean come on. I govern my life around my own personal code of ethics, and I suggest that you do the same. That way if, within the constructs of my own morality, I were to do something that is considered illegal, so be it. I feel no guilt whatsoever and furthermore, if I were to buckle under the social weight of the system by adhering to laws that I do not truly believe in then I would be extinguishing the very fire of patriotism and individuality. So in sense, by having sex with Natasha, I'd be preserving the rights our four fathers fought and died for, right.
Raddimus: Shit... this is gonna be that kind of a party that I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes! Woah!
Ron Burgundy: What? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole... wheel of cheese? How'd you do that? Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing. How 'bout we get you in your p.j.'s and we hit the hay.
Ron Burgundy: I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you.
[Veronica turns and walks away]
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I... I wanna be on you.
Ron Burgundy: I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal.
Veronica Corningstone: Really.
Ron Burgundy: People know me.
Veronica Corningstone: Well, I'm very happy for you.
Ron Burgundy: I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
Ron Burgundy: I'm in a glass case of emotion.
Ron Burgundy: I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.
Ron Burgundy: I saw that. Brick killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.
Randal Graves: Have you and Myra had sex yet?
Elias: Well, not that it's any of your business, Randall, but she can't. You know how every girl's parents put a troll in them? Well, Myra's is named Pillow Pants. And so, if I put my... thing... in her, Pillow Pants will bite it off.
Randal Graves: And Myra told you this?
Elias: Boyfriends and girlfriends talk to each other about sex stuff, Randall. You'd know this if you ever had a girlfriend.
Randal Graves: Have you and Myra even kissed yet?
Elias: We would have already if it wasn't for Listerfiend.
Randal Graves: Listerfiend is her mouth troll, isn't it?
Elias: [shakes head] Women
Randal Graves: Since when did 'porch monkey' become a racial slur?
Dante Hicks: Since ignorant rednecks started saying at a hundred years ago.
Randal Graves: 'Porch monkey' is something my grandmother use to call me because I use to sit on the porch all day looking at the neighbors.
Dante Hicks: That's like calling someone a "kike". Did you ever think that your grandmother was a racist?
Randal Graves: No way. She had the utmost respect for the Jewish community. She use to tell me to be nice to the Jewish kids or else they'd put the sheeny curse on me.
Dante Hicks: WHAT THE FUCK!?
Randal Graves: What!?
Dante Hicks: Sheeny is a racial term for Jewish people. Your grandmother was a racist.
Randal Graves: My grandmother was not a racist! Wait... Now that I think of it. She did refer to a broken bottle as a "nigger knife" once. Maybe my grandmother was kind of a racist.
Dante Hicks: You think?
Sexy Stud: Ooh, cake!
Randal Graves: Hey, there is only one Return and it's not of the King, it's of the Jedi.
Becky: Sometimes in the heat of the moment it's ok to go ass to mouth.
Randal Graves: I knew it.
Dante Hicks: 'Porch monkey' is a racial slur against black people!
Randal Graves: Oh it is not! Coon, spook, spade, moolie, jigaboo, nig-nog, those are racial slurs!
Gus: From now on, the only person who gets to yell is me. Why? Because I have a gun. People with guns get to do whatever they want. Married people without guns - for instance - you - DO NOT get to yell. Why? NO GUNS! No guns, no yelling. See? Simple little equation.
Lester Burnham: [narrating] I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time... For me, it was lying on my back at Boy Scout camp, watching falling stars... And yellow leaves, from the maple trees, that lined my street... Or my grandmother's hands, and the way her skin seemed like paper... And the first time I saw my cousin Tony's brand new Firebird... And Janie... And Janie... And... Carolyn. I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me... but it's hard to stay mad, when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much, my heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst... And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure. But don't worry... you will someday.
Matt: Well hey, Sara.
Sara: Hey, Matt. Grogan's so funny.
Matt: Yeah. Hey, sounds to me like you like him.
Sara: Well...
Matt: Wow. You and Garbage Dick. That's great, I mean he was just saying that...
Sara: Wait, what did you say?
Matt: I was just saying how Garbage Dick told me how he thought you were...
Sara: Garbage Dick?
Matt: Yeah. Oh, no, no. It's no big deal. I mean, that was at least a year to two ago, anyway.
Sara: Wait, what does that mean?
Matt: Ah, I wouldn't worry about it. Besides, everyone wears condoms these days, right?
Julie: Is Matt okay?
Grogan: He looks pretty good to me.
Julie: Well, does he have a girlfriend?
Grogan: No, no, no.
Julie: Cool.
Grogan: No girlfriend. He's too loyal.
Julie: What do you mean?
Grogan: Well, I think he's still married... Actually, I don't know if he's legally married. See he spent last summer in Natchez, Mississippi. Had a thing with a 12-year-old. I shouldn't be talking about this.
Julie: Twelve?
Grogan: See, they got married, and the cops found out, and, well, you know cops. That kinda ended it. They still write, though. Well, he writes. She's still learnin'. Ah, it's no big deal, you know, it's over. He's not allowed into Mississippi anymore, and she wanted to raise the kid there, and, uh, between you and me, I think that's for the best.
The Departed, Club Dread, Super Troopers, Bad Santa, Big Lebowski, Butterfly Effect, Reservoir Dogs, Clerks, Dogma,American Beauty, Office Space, Old School, Kill Bill vol. 1, Suicide Kings, Puddle Cruiser, Matrix Trilogy, The Family Guy Movie, Serenity, Boondock Saints, Star Wars Hexology, Demolition Man, Clerks II, Space Camp, Vulgar, Puddle Cruiser, Memento, Feeling Minnessota, Lord of the Rings Trilogy, A.V.P., Predator I & II, Commando(senseless killing and extremely high body counts are awesome), Friday the 13th I II III IV VI VII, Jason Goes to Hell, Jason X, Freddy vs. Jason, Nightmare on Elm Street Series, Halloween Series, Hellboy, Underworld, Transylvania 6 5000, Jackass the Movie, Great White Hype, Anchorman, The Usual Suspects, Waiting, Snakes on a Plane, Donnie Brasco, A Scanner Darkly
E.S.P.N., S.C., Crank Yankers, South Park, Chappelles Show, Futurama, Family Guy, W.S. of Poker, W.P.T., Fire Fly, Rescue Me, House, Jackass, Comedy Centrals Secret Stash, Reno 911, COPS, Monday Night Football, Baseball Tonight, N.E.S.N., Law and Order SVU, Leno, Letterman, Late Late Show w/ T.V.'s Craig Furguson, Conan O'Brien, Discovery Channel, History Channel, Heroes
Quotes:
Without doubt the greatest injury of all was done by basing morals on myth. For, sooner or later, myth is recognized for what it is, and disappears. Then morality loses the foundation on which it has been built. - Lord Herbert Louis Samuel
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.-Plato
We need to be reminded sometimes that a sunrise lasts but a few minutes. But its beauty can burn in our hearts eternally.-DrizztDo'Urden(R.A.Salvatore)
The Legend of Drizzt series(17 titles), Moonshae Trilogy, The Giver, In Cold Blood, Origin:The Story of Wolverine, Cat and Mouse, Swan Song, Survival Handbook Series, Eragon, STAR WARS: Attack of the Clones, The Elder Gods, The Treasured One, Heaven, Star Wars: Outbound Flight, Shadowmancer, Napalm and Silly Putty, Fast Food Nation, Blood: The Last Vampire: Night of the Beasts, Promise of the Witchking, Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs, Journey to the Center of the Earth, The Man Who Was Thursday, Across the Nightingale Floor, Mein Kampf, Paradise Snare, Hutt Gambit, Rebel Dawn, Kant in 90 Minutes, The Atheist's Bible
Fictional:
Drizzt Do'Urden, James Bond, Batman, Superman, Luke Skywalker, Randal Graves, Silent Bob, Peter Gibbons, Tommy Gavine, Takeo Otori, Lord Sesshomaru
Non-Fictional:
The Ma Dukes, Hondo, Socrates, Mama Ricci, Friedrich Nietzsche, Immanuel Kant, Xenophanes, and anyone who challenges popular belief and can doubt that which is set in stone.