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2 MY GRL FAMILY! STRAIGHT FROM NOY'S HEART!.........PRISON...2/14/06........... It's difficult 4 me as a man 2 explain myself. to talk. I try much not to, say the wrong things. My temper as a man has grown.My anger is built from the past. I try to control it in everyway as possible. I learn from mistake what it takes to succeed on my own. We all learn through experience in life. But, theres not a better way to be taught then by going through our own phase. I cheated, got the best, survie once to many. i want to redeem myself from all the problems. I thank the lord for guideing me this far. The whole tragedy made me stronger, weaker in it's way. My emotions motivated through pain. Life has been pre-determined for all, But its up to us to play are part best as possible, I set my standards, And goals high to conquer my path in every way. I struggle alot in the begining Healing blood shed, tears from the start. Corrupted in the past, No longer that exist Through spirit and soul, Maly exists in my heart, I never knew, never had, I miss someone so much before. My tears turn into rage, My fear turns into anger.My mind wonder every direction and ways I was hurt, beat physically and mentally inside out. That cause me to stay away, Mistake after another, I hated, Because of the choice, The guilt I commited in the past. I live with the pain and thought,"WhAt If" I grew up so much through time, I understand so much through pain. The nature of life.
2 MY DEAR FRIENDS......letter from PRISON...2/14/06..........................Im trying 2 laugh n smile much as I can," u know what I mean". I got 2 do me , n make things happen while im still here. b positive with life, I cant b reckless 2 the piont, everyday count, no more regret in life, yae the past n the letter I wrote 2 my parent, it was how I felt, I cant blame nobody, Its my own stupidity, 2 reckless, I wasnt careful enough, I open door for them if you know what I mean. I didnt play my card rite, thinkin that nikkaz wont try me or mine. But, I learn from my own experience, Its not a better way 2 b taught then by learning from your own phase, I got the upper hand in life, not that much people go through or c what I c in life, Its up 2 me 2 play the card I dealt perfactly. (THAT'S REAL TALK)... GOD may he bless mine n my soul. I found him at one time, he was always there when time was hard, I love him every second 4 that, Im 2 cold of a man 2 ask him or promise, 2 bring him in my life, 2 much anger, 2 much of the past buried inside. I pray he will forgive me 4 the wrong, n judge me 4 the good, through these letter u could c how much I had change, my heart is not pure 2 even think or talk about GOD. ( IM OUT 4 MINES.)(IM OUT 4 MINES.) just like what I said theres 2 much 2 me 2 stop now, (the whole tragedy made me more cocky, more conceited with myself with life), I cheated got the best survie once 2 many. n all these time I spend in here alone made me appreciate understand life even more, I been taught well, I take everything in as a lesson,I breath n c fear everyday, That made me colder, dont take this letter the wrong way, Its just me now, I dont work out much, because the outside dont mean nothin is the inside that count, The brain is the most powerful things in human body, with out the brain your nothin, doesnt matter how big u get I could still control u with my brain,( b aware everyone, your surrounding includding me is grimey), Im happy with my feature with my feature, Im not ugly, I got no complaint, Its the brain that count, I never fail if I try hard enough, (TRUE STORY) GOD gift, only he could change it, Its all up to me now, (COCKY N CONFIDENCE IS GOING 2 BRING ME WEALTH OR DEATH). Im learning 2 use my head more than my anger. thats what make me much diffrent than before. HAPPY N WEALTH is the only option 2 life 4 me , death if it happen it happen, just like the past, its the past. But, ill will never 4get n I will never let go, Im not mad or hate I dont blame nobody I blame myself 4 my past,I done alot of people wrong includding the people I love, maybe I deserve all this pain, maybe this what it takes for me to be a better man, just like u said everyone got there own time, time will come, what goes around comes around, ITS RIGHT IN THE BIBLE!...........THEY SAID THE GOOD DIE YOUNG,I GUESS US GRIMEY NIGGER LIVE A LONG TIME, KEEP YOUR EYES ON YOUR'S WHY I KEEP MY EYES ON MINE!!!!!
2 MOM/DAD LETTER FROM PRISON.....3/6/06.....I dont know how to start out this letter, letting you know how im doing or asking about everyone. but, most of all I want to know how you doing? I know it's kind of hard n tough for us, because of the language we write in. I cant read or write laos/thai. n u know your son like to keep stuff inside to myself dont like to talk about stuff. I miss life out there, in a good way. Im block from the world, surrounded by imagination n memory of my past. Im trying my best to take this time and make myself a better man. I see alot through a short period of time n I live through alot at a young age, I learn from mistake what it takes for me to succeed on my own. We all learn through experince of trial in life. but, there's not a better way to be taught then by going through your own phase. I still make mistake, making the wrong choice. because of the patient I dont have, I doubt a lot of people, somtime I let my anger take over. I dont know if it's the enviroment or the people im surrounded by. I intend to write a lot when I have stuff on my chest. somtime I feel like im alone paper n pencil my onlly friend. I have no contact with the world, the people I love, the people I care. but, thats what going to make me today n the future. my hunger, my fear make me more determine, stronger in everyway n weaker in a strange way. I think alot in here. My mind completley opposite from the past. life change, peoples change, I change, I try to set my standards and goals high to conquer my path in everyway. I struggle alot from the beginging healing blood shed tears. my emotion motivated through pain. I will redeem myself from all the lost and problems I cause. I have to much grudge inside that I cant hide.I learn to live with out friends and love one, friends dont mean nothin to me speacialy the one I had in the past. The last letter I wrote to them explain it all. I had change alot these last two years. everything is deep buried inside, I got nothin to hide everything is the truth about your son now. I just pray and hope everybody doing fine. I miss you so much. I juss dont know how to explain it or show it. This is my last birthday in jail just to let you know my time is coming I have less than 100 days left in here. take care love your son NOY.......
PRISON......3/27/06................Sometime i find myself hurt out of breath thinking about you. knowing that all I have left is memory of us, sometime I just want to give up, this pain is 2 much 2 handle. The woman of my dream I miss you so much, Im sorry for everything, your grave, your love, our memory will be in my heart treasure till the last, for the rest of my life, if its true, if there is life beyond death I will reclaim what we left on earth to be reunited will be my only wish before death.
http://www.projectplaylist.com/playlist/additem/524155
I LEARN 2 LIVE WITH RULES, CERTAIN CODE PLAY FOR CERTAIN PEOPLES! COCKY N CONFIDENCE
2 MY DEAR WIFEY! DREAM, I HAD MORE THAN A DREAM THAT I ONCE HAD, ONE BY ONE THE CONTENDER YOU TOOK FROM MY HEART, 2 OWN MY HEART YOU DID. I DESTROY YOU IN EVERYWAY THE LOVE YOU HAVE, THE DREAM, THE FUTURE YOU HAVE FOR US, THE DRIPPING BLOOD TEARS I LOST, WHAT I ONCE HAD WAS WHAT I ALWAYS DREAM FOR!.......R.I.P ------ NOY'S WIFE CHANSAMOLLY SUN -----2/24/85 - 2/24/04
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