1) The Devil - just so I know I did something right. (God, that sounded cool)2) My real father. Surely, that tubby, bald guy can't be my real dad. There must've been a mistake somewhere. I mean, my real father wouldn't spend Sundays at Wicks and B&Q, would he? No dad of mine needs 2 hands to use the TV remote, surely. Why do old people do that? Are they just at an age where they have to be more wary of the very real threat of arthiritus of the thumb? Worth looking into, I think.3) The fellas who write the scripts for porn films. I was working in a letting agency doing closing inspections on student houses these last few months and at no point was I propositioned by a fit student 'willing to do ANYthing to get her bond back' nor an attractive wealthy landlady who needed me to help her 'put up some shelves'. Tell it like it is, boys. That's all I ask. They should probably also put a warning somewhere stating that it's not de rigueur to cum on a girl's face at the end of love-making. It would've saved both parties a lot of embarrassment.4)Atticus Finch - I think he's probably my dad. I'd like him to be. He's the best father ever. Although Father Christmas gives him a run for his money.