Sarah profile picture

Sarah

I could eat a peach for hours

About Me


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After my tour over in Iraq, I was recruited by the CIA as part of the Counter Terrorism Unit. I can't get into any specifics, but I will say that I have killed people before and they all deserved it. I am fluent in English, Spanish, Russian and Swaheelee (don't ask). I don't get online as often as I would like to because I'm usually on covert missions at various locations around the world at any given time. One of my favorite stories that I have been given clearance to talk about happened 2 years ago, when I was sent to the mountains of Japan to infiltrate a small but well gaurded village to recover an item of great value. Not knowing who or what I was, they took me in as a vagabond and trained me in the ways of the Ninja. For one year I trained and ran missions with their clan, until the day came when I could get close enough to steal a particular item and vanish. My job has forced me to wear many hats to get the job done, including a stripper, a drug dealer, a paramedic and a circus performer just to name a few. Thats all I can divulge about myself at this time.Myspace Graphics
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My Interests

I enjoy pornagraphy, ballroom dancing, making fun of senior citizens to their faces and dwarf tossing.

I'd like to meet:

People that don't suck!

Music:

The only music I ever listen to is the sounds of me humming and tapping on a surface with my hands...why listen to anything else? That would only be a step backwards...

Movies:

I don't watch movies, instead I play with sock puppets while sitting in front of a mirror. Screw Hollywood! I can tell much better stories with my sock puppets.

Television:

See "movies" section...same thing.

Books:

I don't read books but rather read my diary over and over again. I am amazed at how skillful a writer I am...reading books would just bore me after reading my diary.

Heroes:

I do have one hero. His name is Richard Simmons. In case you have been living in a cave for the last two decades, he is the mastermind behind the "Sweatin' to the Oldies" volumes. His crazy fro and cranked up, spasmatic movements just hit me in that special warm spot every time.