Keiferbill profile picture

Keiferbill

I am here for Friends and Networking

About Me

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless business-man. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down.

Myspace Layouts at Pimp-My-Profile.com / Betty page

My Interests

I'd like to meet:

This is why you don't give Duncan the camera... ..

Music:

R.I.P Dimebag Darrell! Devil Doll (You should check her out. A friend just sent me some of her stuff and she is amazing!),Led Zeppelin, Trivium, Strapping Young Lad, Shadows Fall, Tomahawk, General Patton vs. The Executioners, Faith No More, Lamb Of God, Switchblade Symphony, Ministry, Peeping Tom, Underride, Queens of the Stoneage, Fear Factory, Black Label Society, Alice In Chains, Corrosion of Conformity, John 5, Meshuggah, Van Halen, Michael Buble, Stone Sour, Bach, Damage Plan, Lacuna Coil, Marilyn Manson, Mr. Bungle, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Etta James, Probot, Soilwork, Ohio Players, The Gap Band, Robert Palmer, Billie Holiday, Killswitch Engage, Prince, Z Z Top, Nine Inch Nails, Slayer, Pink Floyd, Korn, Pantera, The Melvins, Nora Jones, Slipknot, Velvet Revolver, Primus, Hatebreed, Soundgarden, Metallica, Mastodon and of course Frank Sinatra! Crazy! I know...

Movies:

Batman Begins! Fight Club, Mallrats, Snatch, Borne Identity, Animal House, Sin City, V For Vendetta, Jackass The Movie, L.A. Confidential, Grandma's Boy, Kung Fu Hustle, 40 Year old Virgin ( "Let's get some f'in' french toast!") I could go on and on...

Books:

I read a lot of comic books and whatever I happen to find at the libiary. I know, I'm a geek!

Heroes:

Zakk Wylde, Batman, Mike Patton, Jack Bauer, Ari Gold, Rob & Big, Adam, Jamie and Kari from Mythbusters, Calvin & Hobbes, Johnny Knoxville, whoever invented Slurpees, Jason Borne, Brodie from Mallrats, the staff of the Redmond Taco DelMar, Jagermiester, Sean Connery, Hunter S. Thompson, John Bonham, Sam Fisher and any woman brave enough to date me.

My Blog

Best. Personal ad. EVER!

I’m a fat-assed skanky broad with a big mouth and a scorching case of herpes. I expect you to take me to dinner, but don’t be cheap and expect me to order a salad. I like pork chops with a...
Posted by Keiferbill on Wed, 26 Mar 2008 12:55:00 PST

The ins and outs of Dating

Being the type of character that I am, I find dating this day and age throughly enjoyable and entertaining. Finding someone who I think is interesting or not, I'm going to make a fun evening out ...
Posted by Keiferbill on Thu, 28 Feb 2008 07:47:00 PST

Ninja Sensitivity Training

I guess my favorite thing about Ninjutsu training is wearing comfortable white linens from head to toe, and the seemingly endless supply of Ramin noodle. There comes a point in every young man's life ...
Posted by Keiferbill on Fri, 04 Jan 2008 09:06:00 PST

Six weird things/habits about Keiferbill... Duncan, I hate you!

The Game: The first player of this game starts with the "6 weird things/habits about yourself" and people who get tagged need to write a blog of their 6 weird habits/things, as well as state this rule...
Posted by Keiferbill on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 06:44:00 PST

101 Uses for a Dead Hooker

1. Fucking2. Ass-fucking3. Head4. Second person for car pool lane5. Scarecrow6. Good listener7. Clothes model8. Hunting Target9. Baby Sitter10.Conversation Piece11.Paperweight12.Doorstop13.Wigmodel14....
Posted by Keiferbill on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 08:51:00 PST

Porta-Prison

A few weeks back I was running a job for my company on the underside of Highway 2 from Lake Stevens to Everett. It was about a 4 mile strech of road that needed to be preped before Wilder Construction...
Posted by Keiferbill on Sun, 03 Jun 2007 10:23:00 PST

15 things to do before I die

I'm hitting my quater life crisis and I've spent a little time thinkin' about all the goofy things I have to do before I die. I can't help it. I love those great moments of self-sacrifice, hopeing it'...
Posted by Keiferbill on Mon, 21 May 2007 03:50:00 PST

Oh boy!

I have a hell of a weekend to look forward to. I've been a good boy the past month and a half by staying away from coupious amonts of beer and red meat. This friday I will be attending the KISW Rock G...
Posted by Keiferbill on Sun, 29 Apr 2007 09:21:00 PST

Q & A with Keiferbill

*Transcript from Saturday's edition of 'Good Morning Fife'   04/21/2007 Hosted by Richard Cox Richard: "Hello and happy Saturday to you! I'd like to welcome you to join us for this edition o...
Posted by Keiferbill on Mon, 23 Apr 2007 05:02:00 PST

Chain Letters

This is totaly ripped off. But I though it was funnier than hell... I love it when people send those chain e-mails that say something at the bottom like, "Now send this to 15 of your friends and loved...
Posted by Keiferbill on Fri, 20 Apr 2007 04:49:00 PST