Deborah/ my soul mate is forever gone!

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Before I was a Mom; I never learned the words to a lullaby. I never thought about immunizations. I had never been puked on, Pooped on, Drooled on, Chewed on, Peed on……. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple little grin. I never sat up for hours watching a baby sleep.I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.
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I’m a very busy person , I am a single/widowed mother of 3 kids that have lot's of friends that come over all the time! My husband was the most wonderful man I have ever and probably will ever have known. He Died an accidental tragic death so damn it great falls he did not do that to himself!I don’t have time for friends and family that tend to say I’m there for u call me if u need anything , just to be turned down or talked over because what is going on with them is more important than what is going on with me, or spill my heart out about what goes on in my life just to have one talk about me and tell my business.Don't get me wrong I have a couple true, true friends but I drop the ball alot because of how often I am sick and other times how busy life is and can be and end up in return not being the very best friend.I’m not the perfect mom, I’m not the perfect friend, I don’t try to make the world think that I am either. Sometimes I keep to myself, I live in my own little world here. I don’t call friends and family as much as I should, but I have tried to make sure they all know I love them tremendously and if they need anything from me just call.I am a very understanding and forgiving person. Altho I have a very big issue with trusting people especially men. I have been talked about and walked on so much and have over looked it all. If u judge me or talk about me I obviously dont need you and never did! I believe everything happens for a reason , and that what goes around comes around, you do bad things ,bad things will happen. I’m far from the teenage yrs so I don’t play games. (HINT HINT TO THE ONES WHOM KEEP HARRASSING ME AND THIRSTY FOR CONFLICT)I love my kids! They are my life! I was Home Schooling the kids and we loved it!My health got much , much worse and I had to return them to public school.MY LIKE'S~My favorite color is blue and pink! My favorite flower is a rose! I love butterflies! FALL is my favorite season. I like to watch movies pretty much anything except for that stupid crap ,like airplane (yuck)! lol.... Baseball(YANKEES),Football(DALLAS COWBOYS), I love to write ,I write all the time!(journal,short stories,poems,blogging)MY HATE'S~ FAKE, FAKE, FAKE, people! I dont like lier's I actualy HATE LIAR'S! I will not tolarate people whom think they can just pop up when ever they want. Im a personal ,private person so get this If I did'nt call and invite you please save your feeling's and DON'T POP UP ON MY DOOR STEP!But I must add if I have personally told you that your welcome ANYTIME then you are the exception to this. so there ya have it plain ole' me Debbie Lee now known as Debbie Thomas!
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