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I'm Fat, Be my friend

mattsucks

About Me

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Here we go...
My name's Matt Gagliardi.
I'm good with words but lethargic when it comes to typing.
So, my about me is represented in a video.
So you mongos can see some pretty pictures with little to no text..
Enjoy.


..
more about me (in non-cartoon form):
-So i'm Matt. I'm 18, and i go to College at SUNY Oneonta.
-I consider myself a filmmaker. But i aim to not get
spit out the bottom of the porn industry.
-I can sort-of play guitar. But unlike most impressionable mouth-breathers
from my home town, i don't think that's reason enough to start a band.
-I can't fight. So if there's something you want from me
that's probably the best way to handle it.
-My favorite aspect about my school isn't the location, professors,
food or living conditions. It's the knowledge that the closest wigger
is 200 miles away.
-My best friend is a penguin. Some people think that's weird.
Then again, some people think State Property is a good movie.
-I'm a liberal. I loathe republicans. I don't have a funny quip for this
I just fucking hate you if you like the way the country's being run right now.
-I have a "TV" series on YouTube called "College: The Series"
that's actually gaining popularity. A rare step out of character for me.
-I've seen a lot of movies. I use the "i'm a film student" ploy
to cover up the fact that it's just loser anti-social behavior.
-I miss my home town of seaford. Just not the people in it.
-If there's one thing that keeps me going it's knowing that i never
have to carry on a conversation with someone who calls a dollar a "bean".
-Dave Matthews Band sucks. This breaks away from my previous statements,
but i felt it had to be thrown in there.
If you wish to know more, you're stalking me.
Don't bother adding me if:
-You're one of those girls that owns shirts and posters of bands from the 70's that you don't even listen to.
-You claim to be a liberal but only because it's cool, and you have no actual political views.
-You're a republican...i just...i don't want to know you people even exist.
-You're someone that tries to pass off using Lime Wire as "Hacking".
-Your favorite comedian is Dane Cook. Weird sound effects and mildly funny observations only go so far, people.
-You like Carlos Mencia.
-You own a DVD copy of Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ".
-You know the words to "Fergalicious".
-You casually try to pass off a comedian's joke as your own, unaware of the fact that believe it or not, someone other than you, may own a television.
-You're a wigger. I not only don't want you to add me, i don't want you to fucking live.
-You listen to, are related to, own a cd of, or ARE Dave Matthews.
-You're homophobic. I'm not gay, but i'll learn. Just to creep you the fuck out you fucking cockass.
-You've ever said the words: "all i know is...", i will take that as that is the only piece on information in your fucking mind.
-You're one of those girls that wear boots like you're on fuckin' planet hoth from empire strikes back.
-Under your "books" section in your about me, you wrote: "reading is for faggots". That's right, all gay peopple can read. It's a whole big fucking conspiracy that you just broke the lid off of. Investigation can now begin...you fucking assgoblet.
-You don't agree with me.
Least visited Websites on the planet:www.bestnazicookierecipes.org
www.freecomputerviruses.com
www.giveusyourcreditcardnumber.com
Matt Gagliardi's Myspace.
..

My Interests

i have no intrests. i have hobbies. intrests cost money. but hobbies are free.

I'd like to meet:



We miss you Partysaurus.

"Vision? What do you know about my vision? My vision would turn your world upside-down, tear asunder your illusions, and a sanctuary of your own ignorance crashing down around you. Now ask yourself... are you really ready to see that vision?"-The Boondocks



If you truely aim to hang out with me, you better be ready to have a camera shoved in your face.

I want to meet: Martin Scorsese, The Coen Brothers, Quentin Tarintino, Robert Rodriquez, Daren Aronofsky, Kevin Smith, Darkwing Duck. The men i idolize.

oh, and:

Music:

Armor For Sleep
Bad Religion
Bayside
The Beach Boys (whatever, you do too)
Bear Vs. Shark
The Beatles Better than Ezra
Billy Joel
Blink 182
Blue Öyster Cult
Blues Traveler
Bob Dylan
Bob Marley
Boys Night Out
Cat Stevens
The Clash
The Dead Milkmen
Death Cab For Cutie
Dispatch
Dropkick Murphys
Faith no more
Fenix TX
The Foo Fighters
Franz Ferdinand
Fuel
Fugazi
The Gin Blossoms
Glassjaw
The Goblin Market
Goldfinger
The Goo Goo Dolls
Green Day
Guster
Harvey Danger
Incubus
Jeff Buckley
Jesús Krystal
Jethro Tull
Journey
The Killers
Killswitch Engage
Le Tigre
Led Zeplin
Less than Jake
Metallica
Midtown
Mindless Self Indulgence
The Misfits
Motion City Soundtrack
Mustard Plug
The Network
Neutral Milk Hotel
Nirvana
NOFX
OAR
Oasis
Pearl Jam
Pennywise
Polaris
The Postal Service
The Presidents of the United States of America
Prodigy
Queens of the Stoneage
REM
Radiohead
The Ramones(...kinda)
Reel Big Fish
Reggie and the Full Effect
Rise Against
Set Your Goals
The Sex Pistols
Simple Minds (Lol, 80's)
Sleater Kinney
Smashing Pumpkins
The Smiths
Social Distortion
Sonic Youth
Soul Asylum
Sound Garden
The Spill Canvas
Spineshank
Splender
Squirrel Nut Zippers
Stone Temple Pilots
Sublime
Sugarcult
Sum 41
Tenacious D
Temple of Dog
Underoath
Unwritten Law
Weezer
The White Stripes
The Who

Movies:

I'm a film student, so:
28 days later
A.I.
Akira
Almost Heroes
Alien Apocalypse
Alien Nation
Alien
Aliens
Along came Polly
American History X
American Pie 1-2 (fuck the rest)
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgendy
The Animal
Annie Hall
Austin Powers 1-3
The Audition
Back to the Future 1-3
Bananas
Batman
Batman Returns
Batman Begins
Better Off Dead
Beverly hills Ninja
Big
Big Daddy
The Big Lebowski
Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure
Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
Billy Maddison
The Birds
Black Sheep
Blade
Blazing Saddles
Boondock Saints
Bordello of Blood
Bowling for Columbine
The Breakfast Club
Bruce Almighty
Bullet in a Bible
Bullets over Broadway
The 'Burbs
The Butterfly Effect
Campfire Tales
Candyman 1-3
Can't Hardly Wait
Cape Fear
Captain Ron
Charlie and the Choclate Factory
Chinatown
A Christmas Story
Christmas Vactation
Chasing Amy
Clerks
Clue
Coneheads
Crimewave
Cube
Dawn of the Dead (old school)
Day of the Dead
Dazed and Confused
Dead Poet's Society
The Dear Hunter
Death to Smoochy
Deconstructing Harry
Defending your life
The Deer Hunter
The Departed
Desperado
Detroit Rock City
Deuce Bigalow: Male Giggalo
Die Hard
Die Hard with a Vengance
Dirty Work
Dogma
Donnie Darko
Don't Say a Word
Doom Generation
Drunken Master
Dumb and Dumber
Eight Crazy Nights
Elephant
Elf
El Mariachi
Empire Records
Endless Summer 1-2
Enter the Dragon
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Eurotrip
Everything you always wanted to know about sex...
Everyone says I love you
Evolution
Evil Dead 1-2 and Army of Darkness
Face/Off
Fallen
Farenheit 911
Fargo
Father's Day
Fight Club
The Final Cut
The Forty-Year Old Virgin
Frailty
Freddy Got Fingered
From Dusk til' Dawn
Full Metal Jacket
The Game
Galaxy quest
Ghostbusters 1-2
Ghost in the shell 1-2
Gleaming the Cube
Godzilla (pretty much all of them)
Gone in 60 seconds
Goodfellas
Good Burger....i guess
The Good Son
The Goonies
The Great Outdoors
The Grind
Groundhog Day
Half Baked
Halloween up to H20
Hanibal
Heavyweights
Hellraiser
Hero (the non-Jet-Li one)
House on Haunted Hill
High Anxiety
High Fidelity
Highlander
High School High
Hook
Hot Shots Part Deux
The Hudsucker Proxy
Idle Hands
The Incredibles
Independence Day
Indiana Jones and the last crusade
Indiana Jones and the temple of doom
Insomnia
I Robot
Jackie Brown
Jackie Chan's First Strike
Joe Dirt
Joe Versus the Volcano
Joy Ride
Jumanji
Jurassic Park 1-2
Kill Bill 1-2
Land of the Dead
Last Action Hero
A League of their own
Legend of Drunken Master
Lethal Weapon 1-4
Life Stinks
Little Monsters
Loser
The Machinist
Mallrats
Mad Max
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome
Mallrats
Man with the screaming brain
Mars Attacks
The Matrix
Maverick
Meet the Parents
Meet the Fockers
Me, Myself and Irene
Memento
Men in Black
Monster Squad
Mighty Aphrodite
The Mighty Ducks
Miller's Crossing
The Money Pit
Mortal Kombat
Mrs. Doubtfire
The Mummy. 1. it should've ended there.
The Muse
Mystery Men
Mystery Science Theater 3000 the movie
Naked Gun 1-3
National Lampoon's Vacation
Natural Born Killers
Nightmare on Elm Street Series
Night of the living dead
Nightmare Before Christmas
North by Northwest
The Nutty Professor 1-2
O Brother where art thou
Old School
The One (although i liked it better when it was called "Highlander")
One Crazy Summer
One Hour Photo
Once upon a time in Mexico
Operation Condor 1-2
Orange County
Outbreak
Outside Providence
Parenthood
Payback
Pi
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Predator
The Princess Bride
The Professional
Psycho
Punch Drunk Love
The Punisher (new, not old.)
Quick and the Dead
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Ready to Rumble
Red Dragon
Rent
Requiem for a Dream
Reservoir Dogs
Resident Evil
Return of the Dragon
Return of the living dead 1-3
The Ringer
Road Trip
The Road Warrior
Robin Hood: men in tights
Rocketman
Rope
The Royal Tannenbaums
Run Ronnie Run
Rush Hour
Saw 1. I neglect a second was ever made.
Saving Silverman
Say Anything
Scary Movie 1-4.
Scream 1
Screwed
School of Rock
Scrooged
The Scout
Shaun of the dead
Signs
Silence of the Lambs
A Simple Plan
The Sixth Sense
Sky High
Sleeper
Small Time Crooks
Spaceballs
So I married an axe murderer
Starsky and Hutch
Stage Fright
Starship Troopers
Spider-man 1-2. 3, will be historic.
Star Wars
Stewie Griffin the Untold Story
Summer Rental
Superman 1-2.
Superman returns.
Super Mario Brothers
Tank Girl
Taxi Driver
Terminator 1-2. 3? meh.
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (not the shitty remake)
There's Something about Mary
Tombstone
Tommy Boy
Tremors (only the 1st 2)
The Trouble with Harry
Unbreakable
Unleashed
Waiting
The Waterboy
Wayne's World 1-2
Wedding Crashers
The Wedding Singer
We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story
Wes Craven's New Nightmare
Who am I?
Who framed Roger Rabbit?
Without a Paddle
The Wizzard
Wrong Turn
Vegas Vacation
X-Men 1-3
Zoolander
Yes, i've seen a lot of movies, and these are my favorites. If you saw the rejects
you'd submissively urinate in terror.

Television:

The Simpsons
Futurama
Family Guy
Mystery Science Theater 3000
Robot Chicken
Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Sealab 2021
Late Night with Conan O'Brien
Seinfeld
That 70's Show
Full House
The Sopranos
Mythbusters
Dirty Jobs
Home Movies
The Boondocks
Wonder Showzen
The Venture Brothers
The Adventures of Pete and Pete
Undergrads
The Critic
Dilbert
The Pepto Bismol Variety Hour

Books:

The Perks of being a Wallflower,
The Da Vinci Code,
Sex Drugs and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto,
If Chins Could Kill: Confessions of a B movie actor,
How to lose friends and alienate people,
Brain Droppings,
Napalm and Silly Putty,
When will Jesus bring the Pork Chops?,
HARRY POTTER SUCKS THE WANG! ((---That's not a book.)),
The Fuck Up,
Speak,
Death Rat,
Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese,
Pact: a love story,
Dirty jokes and Beer,
America: The book.
More. I swear.

Heroes:



adopt your own virtual pet!

i could literally watch this forever. and it will always seem brand new to me.

My Blog

It's time to put the myspace blog down like a rabid dog.

i'm not longer posting blogs on this site. if you'd like to make the effort to see what i'm writing now, and if you aren't faint of heart, check this out:http://gagsvshollywood.livejournal.comand i'm ...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Thu, 12 Apr 2007 11:45:00 PST

it's time to curb stomp 2006.

well we're officially down to mere hours before this donkey show of a year lulls itself to a miserable hault. i'm not the least bit excited. because what do you people expect from 2007? do you expect ...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Sun, 31 Dec 2006 12:09:00 PST

Fuck the Revolution.

Fuck it. The greasy hands of Dave have besmirched the face of music forever and it can never be saved.i will mourn the death of music with a poem that i've written.Night turns to day,Dave Matthews suc...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Mon, 27 Nov 2006 08:14:00 PST

JOIN THE REVOLUTION

For too long our meager human souls have been abused and raped by the distilled watery shit from the bowls of music and the depths of entertainment's darkest recesses that is Dave Matthews Band. We, a...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Fri, 10 Nov 2006 03:06:00 PST

Trapped in bumblefuck.

Days until i see home again: 21Days until i see the best part of home: tomorrow.I am trapped. Trapped, in bumblefuck. Y'know Machiavelli once said "the end justifies the means." ...i'm not exactly sur...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Fri, 27 Oct 2006 06:06:00 PST

To all those who lay in bed wondering if they ate 2 ellios slices that day

To all those who play twisted metal 2 in the dark, to all those who find solace in the fact that you may not have a girlfriend, but at least you don't have aids, to all those that have witnessed a car...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Mon, 16 Oct 2006 04:04:00 PST

College kicks my ass.

Well, here i am. Talking to you via emo ramblings of myspace from SUNY Oneonta. I moved in sunday and everything's all set up. and for the past few days, i got to do...well, nothing.Dot moved in and b...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Wed, 23 Aug 2006 06:27:00 PST

Push it to the limit

Well, summer's in full swing. College isn't that far off and well, needless to say, i'm pretty effing bored. Running around buying useless "must-have" college items (like the "gotta have it" bathroom ...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Wed, 02 Aug 2006 10:22:00 PST

It's over.

congratulations to all the seniors out there...well, those of you that passed....and didn't get metaphorically ass-raped by the board of education on the 18 absences policy.my high school career has o...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Thu, 15 Jun 2006 12:01:00 PST

Showbiz: how old were you when you sold your conscience?

I can no longer watch MTV unless it's around 3am and they're airing shows like "Beavis and Butthead", "Jackass" and "Wondershowzen". Why? because it's been polluted with tons of undeserving, uptight,...
Posted by I'm Fat, Be my friend on Sun, 23 Apr 2006 03:32:00 PST