Rev. Crash MacFatskins

where do I begin? I'm the lead guitarist and Co-founder of the underground Metal Band Godwar, I am everything to everyone and nothing to anyone, up and down this country, i've seen alot of strange crap, i've seen things that would make a grown man cry, I have absulutly no idea what the word "normal" means, so don't even say that word around me, I dress how I dress, and NO I will never get rid of my hat, don't even try. i'm actually very sociable if you talk to me, but if you ignore me, you'll never find out what you're missing. i'm sometimes very silent until someone talks to me, usually it's because you're probably too busy talking about your friends which I don't even know, so how exactly am i supposed to respond? I have a few friends but I don't talk about them all the time, but these people are the greatest people i've ever met in my life. I don't care for the way you stick your religion in my face, I have my own, it would be in your best interest to PISS OFF. I'm tons of fun to be around, a party isn't a party without Crash, but the quickest way to lose my attention is to speak of "Goths", suicide, dressing in all black, hollywood, P.Diddy, how fat you look in your dress, how many guys/girls you've slept with, how much you hate your life, your slash marks on your wrists, my teeth, cocaine, or any other heavy narcotics, your boyfriend/girlfriend, emo bands/how much Evanescence rocks your world, Tipper Gore or any other lame shit like that. while you are in my presence... DO NOT: Yell at me, Make fun of my teeth, Vomit, Toutch my belly-button, Put your hands on me in anger, Poke me in the ribs, Tell me that something is impossible, Cry, (unless you have a good reason) Mention feminine products in detail, Get in my face, Lie to me/about me, Take food from me, Insult obese people, Insult yourself, Abuse my guitars, Steal from me, Use hardcore drugs, Watch the musical "Cats" Abuse Animals, Tell me how to do my job, Rat me out, Label me, Leave me in your car, Ditch me, Steal my socks, (you know who you are) Take my car keys, Disrespect my family, Throw things at me, (list to be cont.... I think you get the point by now, cause if not, I will come to your house, find your bedroom, wait until you cry yourself to sleep thinking about your ex-girlfriend or how much you hate your whiny little emo life, emerge from the shadows with my twisted ass blade, hold you down and make little painful, non-lethal incisions on your face and throat, wrap you up tight in barbed wire, drag you out of your own house by your bottom lip, down the the cemetery where I have a special spot picked out just for you, throw you down into a stainless steel maggot filled coffin, slam the lid shut, bolt it down with industrial sized bolts, then bury you in about 12 feet of cement. (just kidding, but I'll have no choice but to not hang out with you anymore) do not fuck with me. I am the Alpha, the Omega, the first, and the last. yet, I also have my good qualities in which I have yet to speak. People see me as the most, unconventional, unpredictable, most dependable person that they've ever met, I'm a blast to be around, I like to make sure that everyone is enjoying my company. People see me as someone they'll never forget, and someone they should have met long ago. i can be extremely sensitive, in a good way, I'm very empathetic, and not ignorant, if any of my friends are in trouble, you will never hear "Sucks to be you" from my mouth. I've been playing guitar since I was 13, and I love every second of it, I can't go 1 hour without playing before I start getting the shakes. I value sentimentality above meaningless pack-ratting. as I've said, i've been all over this country, and I've lived more of my life in my 21 years that some people have in 50. I have the scars to prove my adventures. I am an but a maggot to some, a god to others, a loser, a dreamer, a tramp, a vagrant, a drifter, a storyteller, a profit, a messiah. some would believe that I am the incarnation of Christ, because I was born with a hole in my ribs right where Judas impaled Jesus with the Spear, ending his life. Christ means nothing to me, I Serve only One, her name is Isis, and I am very true to my beliefs, I practice Isianity very openly. I sometimes feel as if love to me is more of a myth that Santa Clause, the Easter bunny or the female orgasm. I fear not Death, but rather the consequence thereof. the three things I truly love in this love are cars, bars and guitars. If you ever see me just kinda space out, leave me alone, I'm happy, or I'm coming up with another great idea. sometimes I can't separate fiction from reality. I have a very altered sense of fashion, so i started a clothing line that i can't speak too much of because I don't have copyrights yet. my memory isn't what it used to be anymore because i've had alot of head trauma when I was younger, so if I don't remember your birthday, or something that you wanted me to remember, for god sake don't scream at me, it's not my goddamn fault. oh, and one last thing you should know about me, I am bi-polar, so if I start getting a little pissy, I'm probably having another crash just leave me alone (NOT forever) and I'll be fine in about an hour, But during that time please watch what you say to me, because I'm most likely to take anything to heart. There, you've met Crash. now you may once again speak at your own free will.