Clemsanza profile picture

Clemsanza

The Secrets of Life Bought from a Clown

About Me

I have a tendency to fall asleep and wake up in strange places. It turns put that all the strange places on this dirty continent have already been claimed in the name of McDonalds, Clear Channel, and Budweiser. I have suffered through Albertan winters and Arizonian summers. I have been propositioned by New England Escorts and San Franciscan Transvestites. I have run backwards through Nebraskan cornfields. I was pulled over for walking on a sidewalk in the middle of a Missouran blizzard. None of it compares to the shear bliss of sitting on my couch and caressing my beloved Thunder Thighs.

My Interests

Losing oneself physically, mentally and emotionally in the folds of space, time and gray matter that I am forced to consider as home, Attempting to turn life into a musical, and being Confused

I'd like to meet:

anyone who can consider themselves an outcast and who would rather go dancing on the graves of their for fathers than participate in the farce known as "decent society"

Music:

It should be the Devil's fairy tale.

Movies:

Back alley renditions of Shakespearian plays that incorporate drunken belligerence, vomiting, bestiality, witchcraft and other forms of art that can only be rightfully performed on top of a KFC dumpster hibernating in the back alleys of Butt Fuck Kansas.

Television:

I like comedies like Fox NEWS, presidential debates, Mr Rodgers, Infomercials, and the 700 Club

Books:

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arther's Court, Flatland, Jitterbug Perfume, Oliver Twist, Picture of Dorian Grey, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Heroes:

John Smith, and all the other contributors to decent society that everyone has heard of but no one has met.

My Blog

final ramblings from the lonely road.

So here I am probably two days from the end of my blue collar hoboing across the conuntry. It's 6:30ish and I'm drinking alone in my hotel room, attempting to forget the unfortunate occurences that ha...
Posted by Clemsanza on Wed, 18 Jun 2008 07:16:00 PST

Ever been shot by an industrial laser? Clemsanza has.

So this last Friday I had myself an experience I don’t necessarily want to repeat, however it was fairly unique and I don’t expect, and I truly hope, that those I know won’t get to e...
Posted by Clemsanza on Sun, 06 Apr 2008 12:12:00 PST

rewards for being a decent man

She told me to call her Mah-Ramie. I'm not sure how to spell that, but apparently it means My Queen in some language. My Queen works at an irish/cajun restaurant and drinks very potent Jack and Cokes ...
Posted by Clemsanza on Fri, 14 Dec 2007 06:21:00 PST

chumpish musings

So lately I've been grappling with the re-realization that I truly am a chump. with the lovely joys of connotations one can make that mean that I'm a gullible twit who will shoot his own foot for some...
Posted by Clemsanza on Tue, 27 Nov 2007 05:46:00 PST

tips for finding that silver lining

He told me to call him Boston.Boston needed a buck fitty for some booze, but first he asked the time. Lacking a buck fitty, I offered to buy him a pint at the nearest pub. Depressed alcoholics have a ...
Posted by Clemsanza on Tue, 06 Nov 2007 09:20:00 PST

Oh what a loverly life I lead (part 2)

Another Friday night stuck in the airport district of an unfamiliar town. My inconvenience made up for with airport food and another hotel room. These sterile surroundings supposedly making it all wor...
Posted by Clemsanza on Sat, 01 Sep 2007 08:37:00 PST

All hail!

All Hail US patent #4,022,227. yes folks the combover....
Posted by Clemsanza on Tue, 10 Oct 2006 11:27:00 PST

oh my what a loverly life I lead

oh yes, I had a blast... let's see. work looked like it would go ust whee bit too long, so I had to rebook my flight. The best I could do was gettin back to p-town sunday at 1:30 pm. Shit ended up goi...
Posted by Clemsanza on Thu, 24 Aug 2006 03:40:00 PST

a recent discovery of worth

While hanging out with a bunch of computer nerds this weekend (I don't use the term lightly - they all had their official nerd papers and were code jockeys for major software companies) I became invol...
Posted by Clemsanza on Tue, 15 Aug 2006 11:29:00 PST