About Me
"Religions are the cradles of despotism."
I'm usually nice, but I tend to come off rude because I speak my opinions nonchalantly, I'm as straightforward as it gets and I correct people when they're wrong. I rather be honest and somehow insult you that way than lie because I find that more insulting. I'm impatient and intolerant of people and I don't expect anything from you. I'm not ashamed of anything, making it difficult for people to make fun of me or bother me with their disgust for me. If anything, I probably agree, taking the fun and drama out of it for you. I'm a huge smart ass but I'm polite when necessary, and I know when it's necessary - I'm not oblivious. I've always stood up for myself and spoken my opinions without caring what one may think of me.
I'm "down to earth" because I realize that there is no right, wrong, good or bad necessarily - there are only opinions. I am open minded because even if I don't like something or don't understand it, I accept it, but it doesn't mean I'm not speaking my mind. I realize possibility and reason, so even when I actually think or believe something, I know there's a possibility for it to change because I can't foresee everything in my future of opinions and life. I can be loud and talkative at times, but I usually prefer not to talk to people, but there are moments when, as I said, I can be talkative. I can talk about just anything, but I rarely speak to someone before they speak to me. I am blunt because I say just about anything, but that isn't to say I don't know when to be quiet and when to be appropriate. I get angered and frustrated easily so don't actively see how much you can rub it in because I will argue and debate with you nonstop, which I'm exceptional at, probably because I'm also exceptional at overanalyzing. I'm also pretty observant so you probably won't be able to get your indirectly snide remarks past me. I'm tentative around everyone at first because I dislike and don't trust many, and it's not easy for people to gain a positive image in my mind, although not impossible.
I'm opinionated, competitive, extremely bellicose and surly, intricate, elaborate (and rather verbose and redundant), confrontational, cantankerous, very tenacious and audacious, meticulous, vile/crude/vulgar and generally depraved, aggressive and assertive, almost always fidgeting or fidgety, overly perverted and sexual (I make sexual advances, puns and innuendos a lot), awkward and indecisive at times, eccentric, extremely sarcastic (people tend to not understand when I'm being sarcastic and when I'm not, mainly because I'm sarcastic about things people would never guess one would be sarcastic about), extremely random and quirky (association from one thing reminding me of another, therefore making a lot of the things I say and do random and unexpected), and humorous (usually crude, perverse humor, but I'm extremely silly too). I'm pretty humble because I don't take compliments well and rarely believe what one says that is good about myself.
I'm not easily embarrassed or insulted because I don't let anyone's opinions impact me because I just don't care what anyone thinks of me anyway. I much rather think for myself. Some people say that what you write about yourself is how you really wish to see yourself, but I don't think that's necessarily true. Why can't people write about themselves and how they really are, or how they at least see themselves? It doesn't mean what they're saying ISN'T true; it's just matter of opinion of themselves. How other people may perceive me is just an opinion too, just like the ones we give ourselves. So what is true and what is not is up to each individual, so disagree if you will.
I plan on going to college sometime in the (near) future, although admittedly I am waiting because I am not ready. I want to be certain on what I want to do and go through with it - not back out because I decide halfway through I don't want to do it. If I take the step, I want both feet in. I'm interested in business and marketing, journalism and writing, and sociology, amongst many other interests I would like to study at some point. However, owning my own music shop is the one I will pursue as a career. Music is a great passion of mine, especially metal, so I would love to open my own metal music shop to devote my passion to it. I'm very opinionated with music, so I would love to write my own self-made newspaper or magazine, and hopefully further that into a career of writing for an actual published metal magazine, WHILE continuing to own my own metal music shop and sell music. Almost all I do is listen to music and find bands I've never heard before, and if I like them I support them. I work hard and try hard and even if I don't succeed, I'm going to keep trying.
I love rabbits; in fact, I am infatuated. I've loved them since I was young and I've collected anything rabbit since then. I purposely go into pet stores just to look at rabbits and I always want to take all of them home with me. When David and I have a bigger, better place to shelter and take care of more than the two wonderful rabbits I already have, we will. We plan on having a basement for animals only; a little basement zoo. Since we hate humanity so much and enjoy staying in, we might as well adopt a ton of animals and give them a good life and home.
I abhor religion and pop/Americanized culture and how the majority of today's society thinks and acts. I don't want anything to do with it. I can respect other people's opinions and beliefs as long as they don't actively try to anger me or get me to see things their way in means of conversion. I do not care. I am open for discussion and debate as long as it's mature and not a bunch of "You are wrong" crap because that doesn't say anything other than ignorance. I want to hear theory and intelligible argument.
I do not believe in "God" or "Satan" because I do not believe in absolutes. As I said before, I believe in possibility, so although I coin myself as an Atheist, I REALIZE that there is a possibility for anything, no matter how silly it may seem. I know you're thinking I should just say I'm Agnostic then, but aside from not believing in God, I dislike the thought and meaning of God. I dislike and disagree with the idea of someone or something being superior to anyone, especially to be worshipped, because no one is better than anyone, nor is anyone inferior. I think the belief in a higher being is fear that there is nothing beyond our physical realm; a higher being(s) is the fear of the end to our physical existence and the unknown. No Gods, no religions, no absolutes.
Even if I disagree with you, and I probably do, it doesn't mean I disrespect you, but don't think for a second that I won't speak my opinion if you speak yours. In fact, let me put it this way: I enjoy learning and seeing other people's perspectives, even if I disagree and can't completely understand. I read many things that would contradict my actual beliefs, but it's for mere purpose of knowledge, understanding, bewilderment and fascination. I have many uncorrelated interests so you really wouldn't be able to guess or assume what I like and don't like. You would be surprised. I can be a fighter, but I don't want to be if I don't have to or feel personally threatened, so I try to understand everything.
I also cannot stand most people, so I prefer to stay in with David or only be around him. In fact, I prefer animals over people. I'm not very outgoing; I'm an introvert and a recluse. I want to stay away from the fools I tend to see. Almost everything I do is with David, and I like it that way. I love him, and even when I can't stand to be around him, I still want him there. My family (that includes the pets too) and David are my top priority - no one comes before them.
I'll never make myself out to be someone I'm not because I know I'm no better than anyone. If anything, I may have better choices and judgment than others at times (because I analyze a lot), but by no means does that make me better than anyone. There is no scale to measure how anyone is better than anyone except in one's opinion, and even a majority of opinion doesn't mean entirety of opinion if not everyone agrees. Literally everyone would have to agree to make something true or false.
If you want to know anything else about me, do not ask because I do not care to communicate with anyone but the ones I already know.
"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."
"My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be
approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool
indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for
others!"
"To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person."
I have finally found someone who I can completely relate to, in all aspects of life. One person that has not wasted a bit of my time and actually deserves my input, respect, love, patience and guidance. You are my confidant, best friend, comrade and partner in crime, and in the midst of battle against everything, you are my love. I believe even in the hardships we'll endure, this journey is one I'm willing to proceed and succeed in. This is one learning experience I don't have to question; I am definitely happy with letting us be. My love for you is incalculable, and my words are a pitiful attempt to express my feelings and emotions, but it'll never grasp what I know in my heart and what I hold for you. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, no one has even been close. I try to get my words to be equal with my emotions so I can flatter you with my words so I can at least try to show you that way, and I try to show you my best through what I do for you, but it'll never compare to how I feel and what I know. If you could see through my eyes, you would believe me. You are like oxygen; I need you until I die, and I need you because I love you... and I will only write incredibly cheesy things for you.
"I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love."
I love you, David. Ich liebe dich mehr als ich hasst neunzig acht punkt neun prozent der menschlichen bevölkerung!
Unified Love Since August 11, 2007.
If my words and actions had a form of volume control so I could make the loudest impression of how much I want you in my life, for the rest of my life, I would simply just tell you, because I know that would be enough, because I know what I feel, as do you, and you would be just as happy and accepting for me to show you in any way I could. That's part of the reason you're so fabulous and I love you so much. You've always accepted me as I am, through everything. My love for you isn't some mistaken feeling so I can use you to benefit for myself, my love for you is to give you everything you give to me and more, and continue to give to you even if you weren't giving to me, but I know you'd never stop anyway because it's mutual. I'm giving you something real, not something fabricated, and to not turn this into psychobabble bullshit: I love you. Those three words, easily and exactly. Sometimes I do wish I could show you more than I do, perhaps better, but because I sincerely love you, I'm complacent in knowing it's real, and that's perfect. I will be the most fortunate person in the world if we even just stay in a relationship, but the time we've spent and been together has been some of the greatest moments in my life this far, and will continue to be as long as we're together. Thank you for everything. Ich liebe dich, David. Du sind mein schönes halbes mann halbes kaninchen.
"We're not buying your product when you're
selling the words preaching silence!"
