What a shame to think that today I've probably caused some sort of disturbance and haven’t stopped to think about what it actually was...
Separately, what a relief that at some point today, I let that person have the right-of-way when it wasn't even their turn.
{Side track: What is better, being right or being nice?)
I used to (and sometimes still do) measure life by the things I do. I literally made a checklist of the needs, things, and appointments that would fill up my week. Someone would ask, "How's your week going?" My response, "O.K., I have a few more things on the list to get to...so I'll just be on my way". -- And that was the extent of my relationships.
Mentality: Quantity before Quality...The more I do...the better I'll look; the better I'll be; the better I'll feel...I will get happy.
Thus I ask myself, to whom? To whom will I look better? Who will examine me at the end of my days and comment, "There's a life worth livin'". "You had one chance to live it, and this is how you saw it fit". What do you think Dan?
Kind of makes me want to cry. Personally, I felt this to be rather pathetic. This checkbox, spreadsheet driven life is not much to comment on at all.
LIFE, the phenomenon of my entire existence, is chalked up to merely checklists and appointments. What's more, the relationships dwindling along the way because of THE LIST.
What's more? Good question. What is more? Life through my telescope was rather narrow. I think I'd like a larger telescope.
What to do with this ever increasing, ever nagging, everyday list? Drop some needs! Letting go of it took some time, but that wasn't the hard part.
Enter personal, spiritual change. My materialisms have changed into values and beliefs – the real good stuff (integrity, honesty, benevolence, good character, acting earnestly and about good reason…all these poetic words I’ve only read in dictionaries actually put into practice).
***From valuing how much I do and who I know…to now…believing that what I do with my life, who I do it with and how I do it, really matters. What an amazing change. I praise you Lord.***
There’s this quiet little voice that resonates inside me, it’s kind of like a compass that leads a ship in the right direction. Entirely without it or used incorrectly, I get completely lost, unbalanced and into some treacherous waters. Gifted through my spirit and from what I’ve only been able to comprehend to be given by God; Holiness. Spiritual Holiness. My Holy Spirit.
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