My name is Cornelius Gnome. I live in Florida, where its hot, yea i get alot of chicks, but why wouldnt i? Im short, built, and extremely sexy, the ladies love playing with my beard. Wow, is it hot in here? But anyways, i stay out front in the yard and guard my lawn, aint nobody walking in my grass! I used to live in the forest until some jackass kid dropped me off in someones trash, i stayed there for 5 whole days in this blistering hot dumpster, the only thing i had to look forward to was the smell of wrotting eggs and dirty diapers. But then one day some nice old woman found me and put me in her lawn next to the bushes, it was a miracle! i would still love to go back to the forest, where i could flirt with fairies and swing from branches, ahh that was the life...
