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Neil

i'm fat.

About Me


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Not really sure what to talk about.
I used to like pretty much everyone I met, now in general I don't. I used to be out more than I was in, now I'm in more than I am out. I used to know so many people I couldn't possibly treat them all as well as they deserved, now I know so few they probably wish I would go away and leave them alone.
I like ridiculously cheesy things, because they're meant to be light and escapist. I also like heavy and meaningful things because I'm driven to understand them. I'm a horrible sucker for a marketing ploy, if the poster says I want it then I want 10. I like fast German cars, but I also like old CJs and things to drive over stuff in. I don't like speed limits.
I love the city but I don't take advantage of it. I love Italian labels but I hate all the clothes. I love Europe but Paris made me lose an organ. I want to visit London but its just not in the cards. New York is the epitome of perfection.
I love music of all genres, but I can't play any of it. I know how to match beats, but not what records go together. I like it when other people dance, but I look like an idiot when I do it. I love electroclash, and breakbeats, and weird tribal shit; but sometimes I need Britney, and trance, and WPGC.
I want the world to be a place where an aborginal Australian can read Dante's Inferno in his native language, at his own home, even if there's not a library for a thousand miles.
I think freedom means everyone's free, not the majority of people. I don't want America to be a theocratic republic like Iran, but I'm afraid that's what's happening. I don't want any child left behind, but I don't want a welfare state either.
2003 - The Year of the Gay
2004 - The Year of the Fag Hag
2005 - The Year of the Functioning Alcoholic
2006 - The Year of the Non-functioning Alcoholic
2007 - The Year of Rehab (also, the Year of New York)
2008 - The Year of the Erin
2009 - The Year of the Joey
2010 - The Year of the JJ
2011 - The Year of the Neil
2012 - The Year of Beth Austin Phares
2013 - The Year of the Dawn
2014 - The Year of the Jill (also, the Year We All Die)

My Interests

my friends, sex, punk boys, airplanes, not sitting in coach, technology, aviation (and aviators), vodka, making fun of people, fine red wines, champagne, tom foolery, cars, movies, music, da club, cooking, asian food, tivo, dominion beers, veuve clicquot, grey goose and soda, coke zero, skiing, d&g, hockey, debauchery, grilling stuff, fire, chipotle, the gays, energie, bistrot du coin, bringing scandal to new york, fall clothes, cold weather, snow, shenanigans, the diner, hijinx, parker posey, driving fast, porn, borking, the brat pack, diesel, stuff, things, audis, denny crane, blue, lamp, drunken mario kart

I'd like to meet:

I'd like to meet real people, who are fun, outgoing & social, who aren't compulsive liars, and who don't have a major mental illness including sociopathic or bipolar disorders. I also wouldn't mind meeting folks who can carry on a conversation about something other than getting drunk, not that I don't like to talk about getting drunk but I like to talk about other things too.
Bottom line: If you're sketchy, untrustworthy, and dishonest, I have no need for you.

Music:

minimal fucking techno, gay fucking house, Danny Howells, Chris Lake, Cedric Gervais, Sander, Nic Fanciulli, Shapeshifters, Stanton Warriors, Gwen, Kelly, 311, Sandra Collins, John Digweed, black people music, Thievery Corporation, Crystal Method, Madonna, Scott from back in the day, Cher, Dirty Vegas, Coldplay, Simple Plan, Chris Cox, stuff on BPM, MJ Cole, Emma Feline, stuff on Boombox, Green Day, most dnb but the mc has to be tight, Satoshi Tomi'i, Tommie Sunshine, Foo Fighters, Missy Elliott, Simply Jeff, Massive Attack, The Killers, stuff from the 80s, Deep Dish, Misstress Barbara, Icey, Jason Mraz, practically anything with a breakbeat turns me on

Movies:

Angels in America, Camp, Bring it On, The Sweetest Thing, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss, Broken Hearts Club, Fight Club, Mean Girls, But I'm a Cheerleader, Oceans 11, Oceans 12, Legally Blonde, Mommie Dearest, X-Men, Cruel Intentions, Trick, Clueless, Drop Dead Gorgeous, Breakfast Club, Showgirls, St. Elmo's Fire, The Event, Die Mommie Die, Shaolin Soccer, Mortal Kombat, Its All Gone Pete Tong

Television:

i've stopped watching tv, except for really the simpsons, family guy, rome, and janice dickinson. oh, and denny crane. DENNY CRANE!

Books:

I have read many, many thousands of books but I really think my favorites are Conversations with Neil's Brain, The Ethical Slut, and The King Must Die.The King Must Die is hot.

Heroes:

Greeks and Romans. They were the shit. The Spartans were pretty fucking cool too. Modern society sucks.