Christopher Mees

..

Christopher Mees is emerging as one of the most distinguished, most poignant, and most punctual musicians of his generation, classical or jazz. Unusually talented at a young age, he was playing the double bass while still in his mother's womb. In order to logistically facilitate this, he invented a system of mental telepathy--itself a milestone in the history of science--which worked so well that, within a week of being born, he had performed as a soloist with the philharmonics of Berlin, New York, Northeastern Kazakhstan, and Atlantis, not to mention numerous performances with Bill Evans, Miles Davis, and other jazz giants. However, disillusioned with the poor quality of post-concert reception food as well as with audiences' inability to remember BWV numbers and odd-meter time changes, he voluntarily retired from performing before his first birthday. His main teachers were Edgar Meyer, Giovanni Bottessini, Guido d'Arezzo, and, briefly, God. He has also worked, in master classes, with Jesus, Napoleon, Prince, Ronald Reagan, and Dog the Bounty Hunter.