Kenny

Things I Hate Today:
OVERLY INTER-RACIAL EXAM PAPERS - i don't understand why despite my best attempts it is impossible to find a white, english person in an exam paper. I'm not racist as I know loads of urm... more internationally-oriented (nice pc phrase there) mates joke about it as well - its like a fucking Where's Wally for white people it really bloody drives me up the wall. Why does every experiment have to be undertaken by Abdullah Khan, Wei-Fun Kam and Medula Kazachostoichinochorachstan? Whatever happened to the Sam Greens, Sarah Hardings and Joan Simms? Why does everything in this country have to be so non-white even though no people of ethnic origins (is that even acceptable to say?) are remotely offended by - horror of horrors - a WHITE person. Stupidity of the highest order. PHILIP HANCOCK. No reason. Well there is but its pretty obvious. And what gets me as well is that GLADE TOUCH AND FRESH ADVERT - you know the one with the chinese kid on the toilet going "It's all gone!"? There are so many fucking things wrong with this ad 1) Hey, I've got nothing against inter-racial marriages, but WHY for the sake of the advert do they have this white woman with a Chinese baby with no evidence as to how she acquired it? She's BLATANTLY got a sweatshop in her basement and has got the kids making "shoe so goo you buy now, you buy now". And 2) WTF did that kid eat? He's four how the hell is a steaming pile of shit selling your product? 3) Where in God's name did the pen and paper come from?!?!?! Does he keep it next to him while he takes a dump or what? And to think of it, he had to waddle all the way to the door to slide it under dropping little gifts all along as he goes. 4) Why does she knock on the door and ask if its alright? Who does that? And 5) The kid talks like he just crawled out of her stomach why won't he grow up and not talk like a 2 month old retard. Such a stupid advert. HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN for someone and then them not saying thankyou. Who the hell do you think you are? I'm not just here to hold a door open for you i'd sooner smack you in the face with it if a wasn't brought up with some MANNERS and VALUES. I swear, if another person does that to me again I'll nail them to the damn door myself. And PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY'RE DRUNK when they obviously aren't. If you are drunk generally you deny it to the death, so fallin about with ya legs in the air going 'I'M SO OFF MY TITS RIGHT NOW!' isn't fooling anyone. Seriously just grow up or maybe actually get drunk and collapse in a coma somewhere. I don't care. I'm not helping you. I'd probably laugh as the ambulance drives off into the distance. And PEOPLE WHO DAWDLE. what the fuck are you doing? the whole point of going to a mall is that you have an idea to go somewhere and you go there, not drift aimlessly annoyingly just enough in front of me so that i can't go anywhere. pick out your GOD-DAMN DESTINATION before i rip your shoes off regardless of whether the feet remain inside them and nail your fucking stumps for legs to a skateboard and laugh away as you thump uncontrollably downstairs into and old lady who will then procede to finish you off with her handbag. You hve been warned. MR RUSSEL. oh my god if this guy doesn't lighten up i'm gonna suffocate him on his own fucking register which he never reads. a single whisper and it's DOM!/ADIL!/DANISH!/(insert ethnic name here) and then he sits there for bloody 20 minutes waiting for someone to make a noise so he can shout at a black person again. All that time spent fucking waiting around could have been used to finish the register 10x over by now and we're actually quiet most of the time anyway. And those marks on the wall that are supposedly caused by us; i've got so pissed off with him that i've actually sat down and worked out how long we're in there for - approximately 20 minutes a day. that's 1/21 of the school day. so how the fucking hell can EVERY DAMN PIECE OF DIRT BE ATTIBUTED TO OUR CLASS YOU SHITHEAP OF A USELESS FUCKING REGISTER-READER YOU?!?! as a guy i like him and he's pretty damn decent but his idea of how a class works is sooooo annoying i'm gonna travel back in time, walk onto the set of SAW, steal that reverse bear trap he sticks on the woman's head, strap it to his head, play it out like the real movie with the little dummy n freaky smoker's voice, make him kill Mr Picknell who's lying unconscious on the floor coz the key to the trap is supposed to be in P's stomach, then let him realise that the key isn't actually in the stomach and i've just made him kill another pointless teacher before snapping his head in half. Then i'll walk in and kick his lifeless head around the room and do a layup. yeah. ANYONE OVER 30 who uses myspace. Do you think you're cool? Do you think you're 'hip'? Are you 'with - it'? 'Down with the program, kiddo'? Grow up. Beeing 42, single and an IT consultant is not the best thing to write on myspace. People like you are the ones who do the robot and worm at the disco. Oh my God you LOSER! RANDY NEWMAN. who the hell likes this guy? he doesn't come up with anything interesting just writes a bunch of crap that he sees in front of him. 'Lil bug, just a bug' - WHAT THE HELL KIND OF LYRIC IS THAT? how does he get away with it? i'll have a go: 'Just sitting down, down on the chair, eating pizza. It tastes good, but not as good as the other one i had the other day. Give me some cheese martha and some lemonade while youu're at it. I think i'll water the garden in a minute'. SEE! was that any good at all? That is RANDY NEWMAN right there, damn pixar-composing bastard. I think i'll beat him to death with Toy Story, jus to be extra ironic. Or i'll mail him to tibet and they can beat him with it. I don't care. Just piss of newman. Ha ha... that works for more than Randy... And all those EASTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRIES. why do these exist? if u put them together they probably have about 3 people living there and provide nothing for the rest of the world. If they blew up tomorrow i woudlnt care theyre the biggest pile of worthless shit in the world. Hungary, Slovakia, Yugoslavia, Czech Republic, Ukraine, Lithuania, most of Russia, Finland & Romania - all POINTLESS. you are wasting valuable atlas space... just meld together and call yourself 'that backwards european place'. You contribute nothing to society. Go away. MR PICKNELL. I put up with a year of craptastic form tutoring and two fruitless fucking years of history gcse and HE LEAVES NOW?!?!?! Why did you do that to me? WHY? I put up with the "6.6 BILLION" and the "Sven Yorik Evinson" and even the "KEN-ny you SEEM to be SLACK-ing" but it was all in vain when i know that if i were just a year younger i would never have had to put up with this worthless pile of donkey arse any more. Why has God foresaken me? This is the biggest shit-pie of injustice since Newman one day becoming headmaster - imagine that. I pray that the second pick steps out of those gates he gets raped by a bear. I mean it. I don't like the man.
Things I love today:
WINCHELL'S DOUGHNUTS. Pure doughy ecstacy. Mmmmmm.... The word EQUESTRIAN - does that not send tingles down anyone else's spine? It's the sexiest word ever invented. So's ALGORITHM. Algorrrrithm. Oooooh... Someone inviting ME somewhere rather than the other way around. All that effort rarely pays off. And little FAT BABIES you see being carried around everywhere. Aren't they so cute that you just want to get 'em and squish them so hard that they just pop? No? Am I the only one? That, and DOGS so cute you wanna drop kick 'em. And pointing out that the SHEILA'S WHEELS car travels backwards and forwards during the same advert. ART TEACHERS. wiltshire n excel sit there and laugh at first years' work after hours :) and they laugh at crap people to their face he he he. The fact that my HATE LIST is so much bigger than my love list :) DISNEY PRINCESSES. you know what? i woke up today and realised they're all really hot (in a cartoony sort of way). Come on: ariel, yeh shes a fish but shes a hot fish. Belles got that whole french thing goin for her and Jasmine does the whole bollywood babe thingy. Yes its weird but look at em. You know i'm right. That FAT SOUTHERN LESBIAN FROM THE GOSSIP y'all. Beth Ditto is the coolest southern hick i know(ish). she's kinda like a less attractive Britney who eats roadkill. Today i like the idea that a BLACK PERSON MIGHT GO INTO A RESTAURANT AND ORDER CHOCOLATE SOUP. oh, how i would giggle. I also like how THE GAY'S natural enemy is the rocket, found roaming the plains of southwestern New Zealand. a